Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle — Steemit

It wasn’t easy, working for Princess Hakenslash. She was going to be a fine Warrior Queen one day, presuming she survived to achieve the crown. She was eight, and already a terror in pink tulle and play fairy wings[1]. She wanted nothing more than to beat the snot out of any of the Kingdom’s enemies, and the challenge was in making weapons that suited her immature hands.

Alloys forged in Dragon’s flame didn’t come cheap. Especially bauxite and starmetal. Especially forged using the secrets of Damasc.

Tan the Smith learned to dread the sound of her skipping footsteps, but today? Today, the fates had been kind. Elven artificers and Dwarven smiths and kindly Dragons alike had been working on this since her last birthday. All the same, Tan braced himself as she came, all ribbons, curls, and frilly socks.

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Alternate Titles for Every SU Episode Thus Far

• Gem Glow: coOKIE CAT!
• Laser Light Cannon: Amethyst Makes A Bad Projectile
• Cheeseburger Backpack: Steven Is Still A Bit Of A Fuck-up But We Forgive Him
• Together Breakfast: *the face*
• Frybo: NO DAD IM GIVING UP ON YOUR DREAM
• Cat Fingers: Jesus Christ What a Catastrophe
• Bubble Buddies: We Literally Trapped An Awkward Kid And His Love Interest In A Bubble And Their Relationship Still Isnt As Forced As Bruce And Nat
• Serious Steven: Steven Is Banned From All The Rides
• Tiger Millionaire: Amethyst Is Best John Cena
• Steven's Lion: Introducing The Best Character
• Arcade Mania: Garnet Cheats At A Video Game By Constantly Seeing Every Future All The Time
• Giant Woman: All I Wanna Do Is Get This Song Unstuck From My Head
• So Many Birthdays: Btw This Show Is Hella Depressing. Have Fun.
• Lars and the Cool Kids: Lars Is Fake AF
• Onion Trade: Devils Dont Come From Hell Beneath Us They Come From Beach City
• Steven The Swordfighter: PARRY! PARRY! MURDER!
• Lion 2 The Movie: Why Dont You Tell Me You Can Do These Things That You Do???
• Beach Party: Gems And Dads Are Both Cheating Bastards
• Rose's Room: Steven Breaks the Matrix
• Coach Steven: The Nicki Minaj Episode
• Joking Victim: Lars Is A Huge Dick
• Steven And The Stevens: Steven Accidentally Makes Fall Out Boy And Then Murders 152 Of Himself
• Monster Buddies: Potato Chips Are The Most Effective Training Method
• An Indirect Kiss: Amethyst Falls
• Mirror Gem: Delicate and Elegant Lapis Lazuli Makes Fart Noises
• Ocean Gem: Fear Waterbenders
• House Guest: What The Hell Greg
• Space Race: What The Hell Pearl
• Secret Team: Square Mom Is Alpha Mom
• Island Adventure: Survivor: Awkward Teen Romance Edition
• Keep Beach City Weird: Snake Conspiracies, or Snonspiracies
• Fusion Cuisine: They Turned Into A Giant Woman
• Garnet's Universe: This Is All Canon
• Watermelon Steven: Steven Creates Life And Everyone Is Cool With It
• Lion 3 Straight To Video: Rose Quartz Has Twenty Seconds Of Screentime and You Cry Your Eyes Out
• Warp Tour: Ladies And Gentlemen, Introducing, the Dorito Nerd
• Alone Together: Two Kids Perform The Gem Version Of Marriage/Sex To Get Into The Club
• The Test: Steven Is Insulted That His Moms Didnt Try To Actually Murder Him
• Future Vision: Multiverse Theory Except You Start Crying Halfway Through
• On The Run: The Boxcar Children Except You Start Crying Halfway Through
• Horror Club: Sadie Should Totally Date That Conspiracy Theorist
• Winter Forecast: Future Vision Except Without All The Crying
• Maximum Capacity: Amethyst Is A Bitch If You Dont Marathon Her Shows With Her
• Marble Madness: Endless Balls
• Rose's Scabbard: Pearl Is Hella Gay For 50% Of Steven
• The Message: Greg Saves The Day But No One Gives A Shit Because Lapis Is Back
• Political Power: Mayor Dewey Is Actually An Okay Guy
• The Return: Master Hand Fucks Shit Up
• Jailbreak: Garnet Is Actually Two Lesbians That Sing The Most Kickass Song Ever Aired On Television
• Full Disclosure: They Fucking Put The Ringtone IN The Song That Is So Clever Like Seriously That Part Killed Me
• Open Book: Cosplaying In The Matrix
• Joy Ride: Teenagers Notice Important Plot Points And Dick Around With Them
• Say Uncle: We're Fucking Watching You, Fandom. Now Stop Drawing Buck Dewey And Sour Cream Making Out.
• Story for Steven: Young Greg Is Suddenly Hella Hot
• Shirt Club: Steven Takes On A Mission Himself, Which Leads To Him Assassinating The Mayor
• Love Letters: Straight Tobias Funke Hits On Two Lesbians. It Doesnt End Well
• Reformed: Amethyst Plays Real Life Super Meat Boy.