Actual movie theatre marquee I saw on my assorted adventures.
Like, I can name twenty things that can go wrong with this idea, mostly related to having a theatre full of unsupervised kiddies and zero people present with green cards to care for any accidents involved.
Let’s do this.
- Some parentals are going to drop of pre-toilet-trained babies and toddlers and just assume the movie theatre has the same equipment as a daycare centre
- Same parentals are going to get mad about the fact that nobody was looking after said precious babies/toddlers because a movie theatre isn’t a fucking daycare
- Older unsupervised children are not going to be careful in the presence of younger unsupervised children
- Theatres can hold HUNDREDS of people. Somewhere in the realm of two hundred seats on average? I can picture the bedlam that will result from TWO HUNDRED unsupervised kiddies. Can you?
- Some parentals are going to leave their kids there all fucking day
- Same parentals will get mad about what HAPPENS when they leave their kids there all fucking day
- If they insist on one adult supervisor per kid pack, that’s going to penalise single parentals
- Hunting ground for pedos
- Easy arena for spiteful child abduction by the vengeful ex
- Easy arena for spiteful child abduction by any estranged family member
- Easy arena for child abductions for any reason actually
- Think of the cleaning bill
- Think of the noise levels
- The potential for teenagers to create harm in a room full of much smaller kiddies
- Property damage by unsupervised teens
- I know we have a system where there’s assigned seating, but try enforcing that in a room full of sugar-fuelled little jumping beans
- Try enforcing any rules in a room full of sugar-fuelled little jumping beans
- Our theatres are desperately understaffed now. You need way more staff to handle up to two hundred little darlings and the problems they cause
- Seriously, media is not a babysitter. Stop encouraging people to act like it is
- Someone’s kid is going to wind up in hospital from this noise and everyone is going to blame the parental who assumed it was safe
Rant done.