Daily OpusEverything I write is freely rebloggable. Just keep the source and tell people about my books :D [Until I decide otherwise, my pronouns are Ze/Hir/Hirself. As in "Ze went to the shops to get hir medication hirself". Thank you for the respect.]
loyalshipper asked, "Okay, adopted!Angus when he’s like 15 who is on a case and runs into Kravitz because he had quite yet realised he was tracking down a necromancer and temporarily gets spelled into being a 6 month old."
“Angus Fortitude McDonald!”
In spite of being nearly sixteen years old, in spite of that being almost an adult. In spite of that age already being an adult in many species that just happened to not be his own… Angus jumped in his hiding spot. He turned, pasting on the world’s fakest ingratiating smile, to face one of his adopted dads.
“Hello, sir…”
Dad had his Stern Reaper Face on. It held little to no fears for Angus, because Dad often used his skeletal visage to emphasise how much it was past his bedtime. What did give Angus some trepidation were the multiple reasons why his dad could be here and now. All of them resulted in the conclusion that he, Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective, was in deep, deep crap.
“Don’t ‘hello sir’ me, son… what the fuck are you even doing here? You said you were out on a case.”
“I am out on a case, sir. I’ve traced the cult to this location. I was just about to take some notes.”
“I’m just about to take in some dangerous necromantic bounties, maybe you should–”
Too late. One of the cultist nutcases had found them. They fired off one spell. Kravitz leaped into action, scythe of office whirling. Bounties were reaped, and a battle was epic, but a father’s mind was constantly concerned about the fate of his son. He wasn’t dead - he would know. That thought alone was enough to keep him moving forward. Angus was alive, he reasoned, therefore Angus was safe.
He was - in a very technical way - right and wrong at the same time.
Angus was alive, true. Angus was safe - technically. He was still exactly where Kravitz had left him after the Reaper leaped into action. This was because the spell used had de-aged Angus McDonald to a state of complete helplessness. As Kravitz found out to his detriment when the Reaping was done.
Angus McDonald was much, much smaller now. So small that not a single one of his former garments fit him any more. He could sit up, wobbling slightly as he did so, and stare in confusion at the world around him because literally everything was a blur.
Angus McDonald was both nearly sixteen and technically six months old.
“Oh fuck,” Kravitz sighed. “Taako’s going to fucking kill me.”
*
Taako did not, actually, fucking kill him. At first, he gasped in glee and cooed, “You stole me a baby! Aw, thanks, sugar skull. I was getting a little empty-nesty around here… Hello da baba… hello…?”
Since Taako’s arms were full of prodigy progeny, Kravitz decided to break the truth. “Uh. Dove? This one’s a baby we stole earlier…” He drew out the signature satchel, glasses, fancy lad cap… and the wand on a lanyard. Laying them on a nearby tabletop.
“Angus?” Taako said, staring worriedly into the baby’s unfocussed eyes.
Baby Angus chortled and grasped for his Papa.
“Okay,” Taako started pacing, soothing the infant version of his teenaged son as he went. “Okay. Obviously not anyone’s fault. Guessed that much. So. How the fuck–?”
“Our cases collided and while we were arguing about it, one of them got a spell off.”
“No clue what it was? How to reverse it?”
“Not yet,” allowed Kravitz. “The good news is that all the necromancers are in ghost jail, so the Raven Queen and I are letting Lup play with them until they confess.”
Taako smiled. “My sister’s on the job, and it’s a job she loves. We’ll have this sorted in no time.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 1]
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In Taako’s defence, he never thought he had to run a perception check whilst packing for an adventure. That was his line and he was sticking to it. Even with an actual baby on the battlefield.
“I’m not a baby,” insisted Angus McDonald, fresh out of Taako’s Pocket Spa and smelling of pumpkin spice, for some reason. Also an actual baby. “I am twelve, sir.”
“Horseshit,” said Taako reflexively. “You were eleven, last year.”
“That’s kind of how years work, sir. They pile up.”
“That’s nice,” said Taako. “Keep your baby head down or you won’t be getting any more pile.”
“I’m not a ba–”
“FUCKING DUCK!” Taako shoved him down, moving into the way of some bad guy’s overpowered arcane blast. He shot something from his Umbrastaff, but it didn’t look good for the world’s favourite flipwizard.
Taako fell. Singed to a crisp. Down to negative hit points.
“SIR!” Angus readied his wand and fired off the heaviest-hitting spell he knew, one of Taako’s specials. “Abraca-fuck you!”
Frankly, it was amazing that it took the bad guy down. Angus didn’t have that many levels nor that many spell slots. The heroes of Story and Song would later claim that they had softened the big bad up for him.
But that wasn’t important to Angus right now. He ran to Taako, frantic, and poured a healing potion into his mouth. “Sir! Are you all right, sir?”
“…I canonically cannot die,” murmured Taako. He opened his mismatched eyes and smiled. “There’s my beautiful magic boy…”
“Sir, you nearly died.”
“Key word - nearly. That’s the important part,” he sat up and ruffled Angus’ hair. “Chillax, okay? Taako’s gonna be fine.”
“What the hell were you doing here, kid?” Magnus demanded. “That was fuckin’ dangerous. Never do that again!”
“Ease off, Magnuts. He saved my life. Technically.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
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loyalshipper asked, "Baby!Angus’s first Candlenights? Either present opening, Candlenights dinner, or watching Taako stress over Candlenights dinner"
“Any particular reason why your spawn is in a highchair, babe?”
“Several,” said Apa, who was doing several things at once only moreso, with extra anxiety on the side. Angus could tell. Apa always whisked or mixed faster when he was stressed about something. “One, he likes to be tall. Two, poor baby’s got a little of the separation anxiety and he’s happier when he can see what Apa’s doing. Three, we’re learning some words.”
“Any interesting ones?” teased Aunty Lup.
“Chop,” said Angus, who thought it was interesting to watch the knives turn things into chunks. “Chop, chop, chop… ‘lice! Chop, ‘lice, dice.”
“Aaaw, that’s too adorable. You’re sure I can’t steal him?”
“Go fuck’n make your own.”
“Duckie,” echoed Angus.
“Almost, sweetling. We got us a goose. Gooooose…” Which was a big pink blob somewhere beyond Angus’ range of focus. “Which counts as a dire duck, I think…”
“Only on that one world with the mega-versions of everything. Can Aunty Lulu help Ango make Maple Thumbprint Cookies?”
Angus jiggled in his chair and giggled in excitement. Cooking with Aunty Lup was the best! He got to be all kinds of messy and could play with the dough and it was always super tasty afterwards. “Map’l Lulu!”
“I think that’s a ‘yes’.”
“You’re still not stealin’ my baby, sis.”
“Oh, just make the stuffing, we’ll be making a mess. Won’t we, Ango?” Aunty Lup picked him up out of the high chair and gave him a cuddle as they danced around and she sang. “It’s a mes-sy bab-y Can-dle-nights, that’s how you know it’s fuuunnnnn… If the baby’s mess’d from top to toe, then the fun has just be-guuunnnn…”
Angus wriggled in her arms and laughed and said, “Map’l, map’l, map’l!”
Angus got to add ingredients to the bowl, and turn the handle of the sifter, and help Aunty Lup stir everything together. He got to squish the dough and leave handprints in it. He had to sit and watch as Aunty Lup added special sweet jelly to the handprints, and was yawning in his seat when they went into the oven.
“Aaawww… someone’s ready for Santa’s visit…”
“Merle better not give him a godsdamned potplant. Augh! My seasoning!”
“I’ve got ‘im, Dove. You worry about the food.” Papa had Angus in his arms and there was bath time and PJ’s and tucking in to his cradle cote with the most patient of the cats as a teddy bear.
There were delicious smells when he woke, and the cat who was with him oozed out into the bigger, greater expanse of the house tree. Angus crawled out to the opening of the larger cote to see a whole lot more grownups than usual. He could spot Apa and Aunty Lup in the kitchen, and the big shape with the blue legs had to be Uncle Barry.
“Heeeyyy, it’s the pipsqueak.” The big fuzzy shape resolved itself into Uncle Magnus. “Hello, Master Angus. Shall I be your transportation, this morning?”
“Up! Up!”
Uncle Magnus had a lot of Up to spare. Angus laughed to be yeeted briefly above everyone else’s heads.
“Oi! Careful with him…” said Papa.
“I’m careful, chill out.”
There were colourful things under the mountainous Candlenights tree. Angus could only see blobs, but they sure got his attention. They twinkled along with the fairy lights and had NOT been there the night before. One of the cats emerged from the depths over them, stretching as it went.
“Aaaah!” Angus pointed. “Colours!”
“Lots of colourful presents, yeah,” cooed Uncle Magnus. “The star of the show’s noticed the presents, and good old Santa has been here.”
“You guys owe me a new lumbar support,” grumbled Grampa Merle from under a host of cats. He was stationary, squishy, and warm. Three things the cats adored. There may or may not have been a bonus fourth with the things that were always in his beard. Angus couldn’t tell from this far away.
Apa dusted himself off. “Okay, the goose is getting cooked, we can hand out presents, now.”
Uncle Magnus put Angus down near Papa, who had distribution duty. “Oh, this one says it’s for a special little boy.”
“Must mean me,” joked Grampa Davenport.
“It’s from Santa,” rumbled Apa. “That means it’s for the baby.”
The present fit neatly into Angus’ lap, and the colourful paper was fun to play with. So much fun that he almost didn’t notice when some of it tore.
“Well, the wrapping paper’s a hit…”
“He’s not quite a year old, Luce. Let him discover.”
Oh! There were things inside the bright colourful outsides! This one was a bouncy ball! Angus tossed it up and watched it swirl with colours and sparkles as it bounced to a stop and, of course, got attacked by a couple of cats. He crawled after it, laughing. Trailing ribbons and paper that the cats pounced upon, much to the hilarity of all.
Hours passed by like that, with ripping paper and ribbons and so many fun things and cats pouncing and laughter and… and then, there was the feast. An entire table full to the brim with delicious food and a golden-brown roast goose and thumbprint cookies and things wrapped in other things and so much colourful stuff. Angus wanted to try it all.
He said, “YAH!” to everything, even the dreaded vegetables, because Apa and Aunty Lup made it all look and smell so attractive.
This just had to be the best day in the whole world!
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
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If Kravitz decided to stay as a half-elf, would he eventually go trough luume? I have a feeling he’d either be real easy to deal with, like you’d barely notice he’s in luume beyond some possessiveness. Or he’d be worse than Taako. Either way it would be fun to read about him going “Mine” on Taako and Angus.
P.S your fics help me get through my week!
Some choices can have… interesting consequences. Kravitz hadn’t thought much of his choice to be half-Elven. It helped him fit in with his little family. It also helped him experience things from an Elven perspective. It helped him understand both Taako and little Angus.
What he did not understand was the sudden onset of a feverish sensation. He was dead. He couldn’t catch anything meant for mortals. He couldn’t pass anything along, either, which was a boon to his family.
His family. His loving husband. His gorgeous little boy. Kravitz bent over their son and smooched Angus’ brow, surprised anew at the purr that came out of him. This was good. This was his. As was Taako, in the middle of an almost-typical breakfast argument with his sister.
“Too many sweet things, baby bro. You need some savoury.”
“Savoury, maybe, not five fucktons of chilli sauce. There’s a baby at the table, babe.”
“Well, you’re feeding him garlic by the bulb, babe.”
“By the clove, sweetheart. By the clove. Anyway, weren’t you complaining about not feeding Ango enough savoury stuff -mmm- two minutes ago?”
Angus laughed at the ongoing debate. He had his pick of all kinds of food and amazingly chose a complete breakfast.
“How’s my best baby boy?”
“Absolutely fine, Daddy,” Taako teased.
“He’s got some horrible business thing going on today, so I’m stealing the ba–”
SNAAARRLLL… Kravitz shook at the sound before he realised it was him making it. “My baby,” he growled.
The twins turned, eyebrows raised in an unconscious mirror of each other. They looked Kravitz over from top to toe and back again. “Hmm,” said Lup. “Hey, Bar-bear…”
Barry surfaced from the book he’d been reading. “Hanh?”
“Can you steal Taako for like five seconds, babe?”
The next thing Kravitz knew, he had a confused Angus under one arm, and Taako behind the other, snarling at Barold and defending Taako from his own sister.
“Yyyup,” said Lup.
Taako’s hand wasn’t very warm, any more. Kravitz rumbled a confused mrrrowp? kind of noise. Part concern, part not understanding what the flying hell was going on.
“Yeah,” sighed Taako. “It’s Luume.”
“It’s what?”
“You’re over two thousand years old, babe,” said Taako. “And you’ve never had The Talk?”
loyalshipper asked, "Baby Angus being sick for the first time in his very young, very short life and Taako and Krav freaking out while Merle exasperatedly has to heal Ango."
When Kravitz came back at one in the morning, he found Taako pacing the floor with a very upset Angus in his arms. The baby was just wearing a diaper and Taako was looking very, very frazzled indeed.
“Great, you’re back,” said Taako. “Put that frosty hand of yours on our boy’s brow, real quick. Or hold him.” He didn’t even wait for permission, just thrust a whiny baby into his arms.
Angus just whimpered, but he was scalding hot to Kravitz’s senses. Hotter than Taako usually felt when he felt compelled to pounce on his undead hubby. “He… shouldn’t be this warm,” he allowed.
“No, our boy’s feverish,” said Taako. He had his Stone of Farspeech out and was apparently dialling a frequency from memory. “And it’d help if a certain alleged Cleric would PICK UP HIS DAMN STONE!”
Angus mewled piteously, poor baby had hardly any voice left to cry.
Kravitz hummed some soothing tunes, not exactly focussed on a spell, just trying to soothe their baby. Poor little Ango. Apa Taako had tried several home remedies, if the mess on the counter was any indication. Herbal teas and medicines, ice, herbal teas turned into ice… cooling washcloths, the lot.
“…the frequency you called did not pick up, if you would like to leave a message…” Taako slapped the stone down with an, “Abraca-fuck-you!”
Angus cried weakly, a limp and miserable weight in Kravitz’s arms.
“I could try a healing spell,” Kravitz offered.
Taako took a few steadying breaths. “You got Cure Disease?”
“No, but I do have Revifying Slumber… it might help break the fever if it counts as a Condition.”
“Worth a shot,” Taako shrugged. “I’m calling Mags. He’s closer to Bottlenose Cove, so he can go kick Merle’s ass for me.”
Kravitz started humming Lean on Me as he juggled Angus from one shoulder to the other. The magic flowed with the notes and Angus drowsed as he sucked his thumb. It was difficult for him to tell as he warmed up through the power of true love, but it seemed like Angus’ fever might be easing.
“Yeah, that’s Krav in the background. Ango’s sleeping for now, but… babies, right? Just… go sic your direhounds on Merle and get up his ass for having his Stone turned off. We need a cure or a rest or something… Already? Sweet. Soon.” Taako hung up. “Magnus is rushing in.”
“That’s good news,” sighed Kravitz. “Did my spell work?”
Taako felt their baby. “Still hot, so… nope. At least he gets a little sleep, poor mite.”
…and the parents, not so much. Kravitz could tell. “Have you had any kind of rest?”
“For the two days since you left?” Taako asked. “He started on this thing yesterday and I’ve been calling the Dwarf every other hour since that afternoon.”
So… possibly not. “I’m guessing I can’t spell you on this watch?”
Magnus’ voice said, “He had it on Silent the entire time, and yes, I am bringing him. Super-speed.”
“…fuck me, he has the Boots of Haste again,” muttered Taako. “Great news, lug. Just make sure he doesn’t impact the door on his way in. And re-set his fucking Stone while you’re there.”
“I already did that.”
Taako wavered a little during a really long blink. Kravitz caught him in a spare arm and guided him to the couch, draping a sleeping baby across his chest. “You just keep him close, Dove. I’ll do all the fielding.”
Taako mumbled, “You know I’m going to catch whatever crud Ango’s got, right? I’m going to be hideously ill.”
Kravitz said, “In sickness and health, babe,” and then smooched both his loves.
Magnus rushed in, Dwarven Cleric over his shoulder. Dogs at his heels. Every cat in Casa del Taako fled for safe enclosures and Angus himself woke at the ruckus and started his weak cries again.
Taako got up, glaring boiling liquid death at Merle and Magnus, and began again on the Grumpy Baby Two-step. “Get on over here and do that voodoo you do, damnit,” he grouched.
“I did make a promise,” Merle grumped, waddling over to the centre of attention. Taako sat so he could reach, and tried to fend off the sniffing and curious dogs that seemed to be everywhere.
“Heel,” Magnus barked, and the dogs seemingly evaporated from the area, clustering around the big, burly oaf. “Sit,” and they sat, panting in the way that all dogs did when they knew they were being good good boys.
Merle laid on hands and mumbled a few words to Pan and finally, Angus’ fever broke. “He’ll be able to ride out the rest, no trouble,” he announced. “Just a cold.”
“Just a cold,” mocked Taako. “Dude, a cold doesn’t drag out that long. Susan and her fucking anti-vax and wine crowd let that killer ‘flu get loose, didn’t they?”
“It wasn’t the killer ‘flu, geez…” Merle rolled his eyes. “It’s just some cruddy rhinovirus that’s doing the rounds. Hit him a little hard, that’s all.”
“I’m gonna tear her and her little disease vectors a new one, just you wait,” Taako vowed.
“After a decent nap, Dove?” suggested Kravitz. “And a good meal. When was the last time you ate?” He was definitely two-missed-dinners crabby. Kravitz could tell.
“Uuuuuhhhh…”
“Yeah, you need to eat something,” decided Magnus. “One Magnus Special coming right up.”
“Oh gods, not Depression Dinner,” moaned Taako. “Out of the way, lugnuts, you always get the spice profile wrong…”
Magnus shot Kravitz an ‘OK’ sign and then scooped up Merle for the trip back. “It’s been a slice. See you soon.”
Magnus, Merle, dogs and all zipped away in a small cloud of dust, leaving Kravitz the alleged trouble of getting his two closest treasures to bed.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 1]
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