[AN: Proof that we’re egging each other on with these things. Also pun regifting is a thing (Image describe: chat interaction between myself and @dualityandsuch where her ask is between the two of us plus a minor bit about Elves and processed sugar]

“Have fun, darling.”

“It’s a pre-show rejuvenation sesh, it’s never fun. It’s hard to look as good as my sister, these days.”

“You always look amazing to me,” said Kravitz, adding a farewell kiss.

Taako smirked. “Sap. I’ll make an effort at enjoying it. For you.”

Angus, at their elbows, said, “I’m sure you’ll look more than lovely when you’re done. Not that we’d be able to tell the difference between splendid you and regular you.”

“Flattery will get you extra dessert,” smoothed Taako. He summoned Garyl and was off at top speed.

Krav breathed a sigh of relief and clapped his hands. “Right. You and I?” he said, “We’re making Taako some treats.”

Angus jumped and clapped at the idea. “That’s excellent, sir! He’s always out of sorts after a beauty regime. Some treat food would help him feel so much better after a long day.”

Krav looked over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen - forbidden ground when Taako was home - Taako was well away and accelerating, but he had an over-the-horizon detection system for knowing when fools were about to mess up his kitchen. “Now, Mr Detective. What should we make?”

“Taako generally makes cookies when he’s in a bad mood, but he rarely eats them,” Angus reached up to one of the more battered tomes and flipped to a stained page. “He much prefers these as a foodstuff, sir.”

Kravitz looked at the recipe. “Berry, cream cheese and chocolate chip muffins?”

“He keeps a supply in a bag of preservation in a nook hidden in the master bedroom, sir,” said Angus. “He usually rations them, but I’m sure he won’t mind some fresh ones with whipped cream.”

Kravitz clapped his hands. “All right. Let’s get these ingredients together… Eggs, flour, mascarpone, butter, berries, honey… It doesn’t say how much chocolate chips we need.”

“His recipes never do, sir. Taako says, never let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips you need. You measure that shit with your heart.”

“He does?”

“That’s a direct quote, sir.”

“That explains why there’s never partial packets of chocolate chips in the kitchen,” Kravitz shrugged. “Okay. Directions. We can’t screw it up too bad if there’s proper directions, right?”

Angus made an uncertain noise and said, “We can try not to screw it up.”

*

Taako’s journey back to his home was a lot more careful than his trip towards the temples of vanity that made him appear super special for his impending interview. A team of technicians had, after all, spent hours on his face and hair. He had another team each per hand. At least Garyl never wrecked a manicure.

He could smell trouble in the way his husband and apprentice were waiting for him at the door. He could really smell trouble in the way Krav had an apron on over his lovely suit. It was the way they were smiling, though, that triggered his final fuckery alarm.

“What have you two been up to?” he asked.

Krav’s picture of innocence was badly forged. “Who says we were up to anything, Dove?”

Taako gave him his best stop-the-horseshit glare. “Do I need to go through what my Perception Check picked up?”

He smiled in that super-sexy way he had. “We made you a little treat. To lift your mood.”

“It’s still baking, sir,” added Ango.

Good. “Great. Then I shouldn’t ruin my makeup for the interview. You two didn’t leave a huge mess in my kitchen, did you?”

“Cleaned up every last spill and stain,” said Krav. “And we set up the sunshine parlour for the people coming by.”

“They should be ready just before the interview ends,” said Angus. “At least, if my math is accurate.”

Ango’s time math was way more reliable than Miller Academy’s ridiculous equations. “Good for you. If temptation ruined this makeup, I’d have been pissed.” And, because this kid was more or less his son, he added, “That’s very thoughtful of you. Thanks.”

Which was more of a shock to them than anything else he could have done. Good to know he could keep his family on their toes even now.

One deep inhale told him everything. They’d made the berry cream cheese muffins with chocolate chips. His favourite.

It was true. He had the best family.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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This was the day that Angus had been dreading. Parent and teacher night had begun. Some parents were dreaded already, like Susan, who was there to badger everyone about how brilliant her darling little Jason was and how it was discriminatory that he was kept from the halls of Miller Academy.

The other one they dreaded was Taako. Who could now blaze right through all the checks and barriers to stop him haranguing the teachers and just go off at everyone who he thought wasn’t doing their job. Angus was dreading that part.

What he hadn’t anticipated was Kravitz. Who turned up in a resplendently fancy suit, looking like he existed to be Taako’s arm candy. Angus thought he’d let Taako take the lead.

Kravitz, however, had his own concerns about modern education. “I don’t see any indicators in regards to penmanship or calligraphy in his report cards,” he said to every. Single. Teacher. “A good, neat hand is essential for everyone’s future.”

“Not since Miller Labs released the autodictator pen. Actually, since the book of transcription, handwriting has been less important.”

“When did that happen?”

“Three hundred years ago, sir,” Angus sighed.

“Yeah, I did like, half my first book with a book of transcription. The editing was hell, though,” said Taako. “Anyway, back to this bullshit alleged curriculum of yours…”

Then there was the issue of maths…

“The entire family worked on this piece of shit problem for five fucking hours…”

“You need to send more detailed instructions for parents helping their kids.”

“The Seven Birds literally couldn’t do that one, and we’re fucking legends.”

Angus was shocked. “You got Madam Director in on that one, sirs?”

“Hell yeah,” said Taako. “Delegate to the nerds, that’s how we do.”

Kravitz got their train of thought back onto the tracks. “Can you show us how this one is supposed to work?”

That took three hours, including the arguments about why it shouldn’t work.

The pinnacle of suck for Angus happened when they got to his music teacher.

“Why,” said Kravitz, edging into his Work Accent, “the fock, is Angus marked down for music? I’ve been teaching our boy everything ‘e knows.”

“Elementary music theory isn’t about improvisation,” said the luckless teacher. “It isn’t about influence… It’s about learning the rules.”

“Well, if he’s more advanced than this class,” said Kravitz, “move him up.”

The music teacher said what they said to parents like Susan. “It’s necessary to earn a passing grade at elementary music theory before moving on to more advanced classes. It isn’t me, it’s the rules of the academy. We have to be certain that students are qualified for the work.”

“Angus, sweetie, why don’t you play All For the Stars for this blatant ignoramus?”

“Sir…” Angus protested.

“Play for the man, Agnes. What’s to lose?”

My dignity, thought Angus. “This isn’t an audition, sir. It’s my fault for getting bored in class. It’s the school rules and all the playing I can do wouldn’t change anyone’s mind.”

“Your son has a firm grasp of the situation,” said the teacher, leaving the, Why don’t you? unspoken. “Playing anything wouldn’t change–”

“Play for the man,” Taako insisted. “We know you’re better than an entry-level class. Show everyone.”

“Sir–”

Great. Now everyone was looking. Taako had a piercing voice and knew how to pitch it to carry to the crowd.

“This is my boy and he can play up a storm.” Taako started a chant. “Play! Play! Play! Play…”

Angus wished he had Shape Earth so he could vanish into a hole into the ground. He shared a sympathetic moment with the music teacher who rolled their eyes; and eventually made a go-ahead gesture.

Angus, ears steaming from the heat of mortification, sighed and played. Not Kravtiz’s suggestion. Not March of the Forgotten, which was a hardy favourite, but a different composition from Johann. He’d called it, Even the Unworthy.

Angus had loved it. It was his favourite. It made him feel like he could be valued even when nobody could possibly appreciate him. It made him feel good about himself when it seemed like nobody else could harbour any kind feeling.

He sat back down when he was done, not listening to the applause or his adopted parents’ bragging. in between the hubbub, he managed. “I’m gonna try harder to stick to the rules, sir.”

“I’ll do what I can to get you bumped up as soon as possible.”

Deal struck, Angus did his best to survive the rest of the evening without spontaneously combusting from sheer embarrassment.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 3]

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Koko had frozen halfway through putting his costume on. He was staring off in a particular direction with a lovelorn expression on his face.

“Focus, dear,” said Lulu, yanking the leotard all the way up to his shoulders. “We’re on in five.”

“I can’t help it, he’s gorgeous,” Koko sighed.

Lulu tweaked the piece of tarpaulin so that it blocked his view of this particular circus’ knife thrower, Kustaad the Magnificent. “He’s straight as an arrow and knows you’re underage, Koko. Give up.”

“But he’s gorgeous…”

“Everybody knows, Koko. Including his wife.” She made faces at him so she could fix his makeup. “You might have a chance with his son…”

Koko murmured uncertainly. “I know they’re unhappy, I heard them fighting…”

“That wasn’t fighting, bro-bro.”

“Three minutes, wonder twins! Goggles on or Harkin’s gonna scrag you!”

Because Harkin believed in Witch Eyes and so did a large portion of the audience. Lulu put his on because Koko wasn’t focussing on any damn thing but the wants of his own groin.

Lulu grabbed his face. “We are going to be jumping around at each other thirty feet off the ground, brother-dear. I need you to focus on the most important people - us.”

He sighed, pressing his forehead to hers. “I know. I know. Mind on the job.”

“Good,” she breathed easier. Just in time for them to wow the audience with glitter and dazzle.

*

There he was! The most beautiful man Koko had ever met. He was sweaty and out of breath from his part of the show and Kustaad just stole what little breath he had left. He still had a smile for the man. “Did you see?” he panted. “Amazing, right?”

Kustaad said what he always said, since he was literally old enough to be Koko’s father. “You did good, kid. If I was your dad, I’d be proud of you.” And he petted Koko’s head like a loving parent might.

Of course he did. He had a kid Koko’s age. That hurt.

At least Koko had the sense not to share the acres of bad poetry he’d written about being painfully in love with an older man who wasn’t even aware that gay people existed.

Meanwhile, there was Kri. Kustaad’s son who was a mere handful of years Koko’s junior. Sure, Kri could mature to be just like his father, but he was a weedy Elven junior of about Seventy.

Who was definitely in adoration of Koko, and might have a baby crush. “I saw you,” said Kri. “You were amazing! You’re always amazing. When you did that flip and swapped around to leap backwards? I swear my heart stopped.”

It wouldn’t be fair to lead Kri along when he was so badly in love with Kustaad. And it wasn’t fair to Kri to not at least be friendly. “We got us a situation, huh?” he said.

“Huh?” echoed Kri.

“You got a thing for me. I got a thing for… someone else. It kind’a hurts, right?”

Kri sighed, pain in his eyes. “Yeah. It does.”

Taako took a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know exactly how much this hurts.”

“Wish it didn’t,” said Kri.

“Your mouth to the gods’ ears,” said Koko.

That night, he would spend three hours waxing lyrical to Lulu about the great sacrifices he had made in the name of love. Making friends with a younger kid and bonding over how painful love can be when it wasn’t returned.

All so Kustaad could be happy that his son Kri had a reason to be happy.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 3]

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The flat was dark when he returned. This was nothing new. What with the frenetic activities of two super-genius nosy busibodies, there were many times that their flat was dark and empty when one of them returned to it.

Nothing new on the noticeboard, their chief way of non-facetime communication. Not even an encoded dirty limerick. There were only shelf-stable ingredients in the pantry, of course. They weren’t in long enough or often enough to trust things like eggs and milk to last long enough between uses. Taako would flip at the dehydrated eggs and the long-life milk cartons, but… he never had to know about this flat and he liked it that way.

What gave Angus pause was the bag on the hatrack.

Agatha’s bag, and her bandolier of useful things. Hung on the hook like they always were when she was in.

He followed her usual path from hatrack to bedroom, finding her shoes kicked off and laying where they’d fallen. She must have had a long and tiring day, then collapsed into bed for a short nap.

She was curled in a ball on top of their bed. Clothing tossed off in brief fits of uncomfortable consciousness. In the grey light of darkvision, Angus could see a sheen of perspiration on her beautiful skin.

And hear…

thrrtt… thrrtt… thrrtt…

The soft, barely audible, broken purr of clear distress. He didn’t need to touch her to know she was sick, but when he did, she was burning hot. Her feet were ice cold and her brow was hot enough to cook soup on. When he added a gentle, questing hand to her belly, she moaned in protest, but didn’t wake.

Right. This was bad, bad beans.

He left a note for her on the board, just, Gone out for supplies - G. and hurried to where he could get some fresh stuff at this hour. Taako always insisted that fresh and as natural as possible was always the best. Ginger. Garlic. Chicken stock. Chicken. Vegetables. Cinnamon. Honey. Lemon. Socks of Comfort. Compress of Cooling. Seven different things that promised to soothe an upset stomach and enough painkillers to cause concern in the clerk.

“Sick wife,” said Angus. “We’ve only been married a couple of months.”

“What’s she got?”

Angus listed off the known symptoms and asked if there was anything else that could help her out. Unfortunately, the answer was negative.

He rushed back and got the tea started and carefully wriggled the socks onto her cold feet. Then equally as carefully eased the compress onto her fevered brow. Next - soup.

Taako had indeed taught him everything he knew about cooking, including the bare basics and variations of his nigh-famous ginger garlic chicken soup. Good for anything that ailed a body except maybe death. Even then, it had been known to warm literally the coldest heart.

Tea ready, Angus got together some painkillers - ones also good for easing a fever - and a few stomach remedies and brought them to Agatha.

She was resting a little easier, which made it horrible to wake her up. She complained with an inchoate groan.

“I know, love,” he cooed. “Got some stuff to help you feel better, babe.”

“Thanks babe,” she croaked, fighting to attain an upright position. Painkillers and stomach meds, then slow sips of tea. “…dunno what this is, but it hit me like an ogre.”

“Clerk said it’s going around. The good news is, it goes through quick. The bad news is, it’s hell.”

“Don’t catch it?”

“Trying not to.”

He let her rest for the two hours it took for the soup to be done. Sleep was her ally in this battle. Then it was time to wake her and feed her as much as she could stomach.

Good thing half-Elves could meditate just as well as the full-blooded ones. He’d need that little trick to stay fresh whilst Agatha needed care.

It was hell. And it was over inside of four days. Agatha was left weak, wrung out, and wan, but she would get better from there. Which was just as well, because he had been incredibly worried for those four days.

The best thing in the world was being able to snuggle up next to her without a worry in his head. It was also the best sleep he’d had in a week.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 4]

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A bunch of line-only sketches of the Starblaster Uniforms according to my headcannon over here.

Not shown on the hat sketches - where I forgot that it was PROFILE and not BACK - pig, poufy feathers at least decorating the Captain’s hat. Mostly because I chickened out.

I probably fucked up how the jacket-as-a-half-cape thing went. I don’t know from textiles and I tried my best. I could find literally zero references.

….at least I now have something so I can work on the crew pix at an undefined later date.

Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 82 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Memory recovery is a tricky, tricky thing.

[AN: (Still Alive playing in the background) Taagnus isn’t my favourite but I can see how they’d be FWB during SC]

Magnus was used to being strong for Taako. That was how it worked. Then Taako was feeling weak, lonely, or emotionally tired. It happened more often when Lup died. He really had to be strong then, because Taako was most likely to go off the rails when his sister was dead.

Today, though, some random virus had managed to assault him. Something that had killed Barry and was close to killing Luce… and now had got to him despite their best efforts to prevent it.

He felt like dog shit that had been dragged backwards through a hedge and set on fire. He felt weaker than a newborn kitten and less able to focus on the world outside his bed.

Hot soup and cold water kept appearing by his bedside. Cold compresses and hot water bottles eased his discomfort. He was dimly aware that someone was sponge-bathing him.

It was a sweat-soaked and uncomfortable time, but someone was invested in his survival and, given that Merle was shitty at that sort of thing. The weight he sometimes sensed on his bed was too heavy to be Cap’n’port. He hadn’t thought anyone else was even bothered with his continued existence. He’d be back next year like nothing ever happened to him.

Why should they care?

His name was Magnus Burnsides. He was eighteen. He’d been eighteen for twenty-five years. As time slipped out of his grasp, he didn’t know whether to curse this attempted saviour or bless them. It all depended how shit he felt whenever consciousness wrestled with him and won.

Blink.

Retching into a tub. Someone’s hand was stopping him from falling out of his bunk and into his own puke. Soaked in sweat and down to his undies under a sheet that had been tossed on and off.

“Let it out,” said a voice on the edge of his awareness. “Don’t hold back i’morko.”

A glass of water. Cool and fresh. Pressed to his lips. “Rinse. Spit.”

He did that.

The form that leaned him back on the mess of pillows was a blur in the reds and golds of the mission uniform. Couldn’t be Taako. Taako always ditched the uniform at the first opportunity.

“…who?” he croaked.

“Don’t sweat it. Here.”

A concoction of milk, herbs, and honey. Comfort-warm and a blessing on his ravaged throat. The stabbing in his stomach eased.

“Just rest.”

Blink.

Shivering in the darkness. So cold. A presence leaning over him Snuggling up close. Whoever they were, they were a furnace. Someone moved around the hot water bottles. Someone brushed his face. Calloused hands.

“Sssh. Sshh-shh… Deep breaths, now. Deep breaths.”

He tried his best until he sank back down again.

Blink.

The soup had chunks in it. “You remember how to chew, right?”

He did that. The meat was spicy and soft. The liquid around it was warm and comforting. The blur in front of him was a little clearer. Darkish skin with lighter patches. Golden hair tied up in a red kerchief. He couldn’t focus on the eyes and easily tell which twin had the tonic.

“…lup?”

“Guess again, homeslice.”

Blink.

It might be daytime, but he was alone. Sprawled out on his bunk and unable to lift a finger. Running footsteps coming towards his position and he couldn’t even move his head.

The red blur was back, fiddling with his button fly and muttering under his breath. “…stoopid-ass fashion designers, those assholes never had t’ pee in a hurry in their lives…”

Magnus smiled. He knew that complaint. By heart. His voice was a rough and ghostly rasp. “…hey taako…”

Taako finished wrestling with is upper buttons. “Hey. Feeling better yet?”

“I feel like wrung-out laundry after it’s been beat on a rock.”

“Yeah, that’d about get it. Luce said that’s how she felt when she beat it. You’re on the way back up. So there’s that good news.” He made to feel Magnus’ brow.

“You wash your hands?”

Now he could focus on Taako’s mismatched glare. “No, I stuck both hands up my ass and came straight to you.” His hands were damp and smelled of the lavender soap they made on weekends. “Fever’s broken. Want help getting into the shower? ‘Cause you smell like boiled ass.”

“You’d know what boiled ass smells like,” quipped Magnus. Which was a cue to the usual joke.

“Of course I do, I boiled your ass the last time you died. Stank up the ship for two weeks.”

He laughed so hard he fell to fits to coughing.

“Easy, now. Easy. No joking for another week.”

“What? No sponge bath?”

“Naw, ya gotta try an’ walk as soon as you can. You got some atrophy going on, and -uh- don’t look.”

Given how weak he felt just sitting up, he decided not to look at how bad he’d got. The crew had taken to covering any mirror on board when disease or injury ravaged the survivor’s bodies and faces. There was already a cloth over the mirror in the bathroom.

Close to, Taako also looked like hell. There were signs of Blight up his neck and his eyes were hollow. He had a kind of boiled ass aroma to him and his hair was kind’a greasy.

“Were you looking after me the whole time?”

Taako rolled his mismatched eyes and scoffed. “No…” which was Taako-ese for ‘yes’.

Magnus didn’t argue with his horseshit. He just said, “Thanks,” and added, “Maybe you should help me stand in the shower.”

“Eh. Whatever.”

Which was Taako-ese for, “Sure, but don’t make a big deal out of that.”

They showered together with a few more hugs than necessary. Just two people surviving the disaster together. He didn’t say a word about them sharing a bed to rest. He didn’t say a word about how often Taako actually showed he cared during his recovery.

That was how they rolled. That was how it worked. For them.

[TAZ Prompts remaining: 5]

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Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 80 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

There’s nothing like new math to make old mathematicians angry.

He said he’d be back soon. Ango was the most honest kid in the multiverse, and Taako hadn’t doubted him at the time. Soon, to Taako’s mind, was something within a week or two.

He was concerned by the end of week one. Outright fretting by week two. So worried that he couldn’t rest at all by week three.

“He’s still okay, right?” Taako asked Krav, Lup, or Barry whenever they came home. “He’s still alive, right?”

By halfway through week four, just ‘alive’ wasn’t enough. Taako took his best long-distance Deer, his most thorough spellcasting ingredients, and all his spell focii and gadgets, Angus’ duplicate Book of Transcription, and took off.

He had refined Locate Creature to a greater range and could narrow down a general direction if within ten miles of his targets location. He extrapolated most of a path from Angus’ book. He forgot to eat. He didn’t sleep. He was too disturbed to meditate.

Four days out from the farmhouse, Krav appeared while Taako let Dh’ondahr[1] grazed and took water. He was seriously pondering magecrafting a crystal storehouse for the beast while he used Garyl to keep moving when his husband appeared through a rift.

“He’s still alive, right?”

“Yes, Dove. He’s still alive.”

Taako could breathe. “Istus says he’s going to be okay?”

“Dove… I came because you’re not okay. When was the last time you ate?”

“I’m good. I’ve got lembas.”

“Dove…”

“I haven’t been hungry,” he said, unable to deny the love of his life. “For… four days.”

Krav took the lembas Taako had waved around and broke it along its pressed fault lines. “Eat, Dove. For me? For Ango?”

It was one of his best recipes, but it tasted like ash as he ate mechanically.

Krav brought his hurdy-gurdy out from his personal hammerspace.

“Oh fuck you,” grumbled Taako.

“You know I have to, Babe.” He sang, “Sleep, Taako, sleep, you’ve worn yourself to shreds/ Tomorrow come on back to tearing up Faerun’s green breast/ There’s no-one you can blame, just circumstances threads…” He did not cast Sleep, as Taako was naturally immune to that. He cast Calm Emotion. Which had the same net effect that Sleep would have on anyone else.

Taako was conked out before the last line.

Krav was still watching over him come the dawn. He had made coffee and a servicable breakfast on the campfire.

“I hate you,” said Taako without any conviction.

“No you don’t,” said Krav with every ounce of confidence. “You needed this. One day, you may even admit it.”

Taako mumbled, “I have to find our boy,” into his eggs as he bolted them down.

“I’ll try to stop by,” Krav soothed. “Look after yourself, okay? You can’t look after Ango if you’re falling over.”

“Sure,” said Taako, but he was already up and making ready to go. “Wish you could zero in on not-death-criminals.”

“Same, Dove. Same.”

Three days later, Taako found Angus in Ravensroost. The entire town was in the middle of reconstruction and apparently belonged to dogs. Well. Mostly dogs. All of them were happy to see him and would eventually sit when told. Magnus. loaded down with rebuilding materials, waved. “I got your kid,” he hollered.

Taako, in no mood to argue about Angus ownershio, bellowed, “WHERE’S MY BABY?”

Ango was laid up in the Ravensroost hostel with a broken leg in traction. It was telling that he somehow found an issue of Caleb Cleveland to read. Someone had given him a bowl of stew and a bell.

“Oh. Hello, sir. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” Of course he knew Taako had been fretting. Signs like the Blight were hard to obscure. Plus he hadn’t applied his usual glamour since… three weeks ago.

Taako fell across him in a very out-of-character hug. “Don’t do that to me again,” he said, holding his boy close. “Don’t do that to me ever.”

He barely heard, “I won’t, sir. And next time, I’ll take along the Stone of Farspeech. So you can contact me when I’m on a case.”

He was out of it before any further explanation reached his pointed ears.

[1] A traditional Elven name for deer.

Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 78 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Feeblemind spell used in this chapter. Those disturbed by this should know that I tried to remain respectful with it.