Another village, another attempt at keeping the Bail Fund intact for another fortnight. This time, at least, La’ming Ton was there to help keep the twins in rein.

Allegedly.

“I’ll have your strongest ale,” said Koko.

“He’s having a mild cider shandy[1],” said La’ming. She wheeled to face Lulu, “And so are you, young miss.”

Lulu switched to Street Elven, “These are Humanmen, they can’t possibly know.”

“Elves already have a reputation for being duplicitous, deceptive lawbreakers. The last thing we need to enforce that reputation. So you two under-age Elves are drinking shandies. End of.”

The twins grumbled, but suffered to drink shandies.

Raucous laughter erupted from a card table across the inn.

“That’s what I like to see,” roared the most obnoxious one. “Tame Elves.”

One of his lieutenants laughed even louder and said, “Rather see ‘em hangin’ in a ‘pothecary to dry!”

“Hey, hey. Careful. They can hear us,” said another lieutenant. “With ears like that, they can hear your hand!”

The twins were growling under their breaths. La’ming, with her ears docked and her disguise on, rested a hand on one each of theirs. “Okay,” she said in Street Elven, “Now is the time we run the kind of scam where we let them walk home in their breechclouts.”

The twins turned to assess the quartet of boozy card players. “We have three… We could run the Winterheim Two-step.”

“I was thinking of the Passholdt Handshake.”

“How about somewhere in-between? The Goldcliff Warm Welcome.”

The twins grinned like sharks. “Goldcliff. I like it.”

La’ming sighed. “I don’t know whether it’s more disturbing that I know what all those are… or that you do.”

The game, known to hustlers as the Goldcliff Warm Welcome, was also known as skin the guys who are going to learn better. It began with La’ming airing a little more cleavage and hiking up more than a mere corner of her skirt.

The twins insisted on speaking only in Gutter Elven, a language that La’ming insisted was their twin talk. She also gave them the story that the twins were found wild and didn’t understand Common. A ‘fact’ that emboldened the Humanman quartet to be louder and more boisterous than they had been before.

It took only a few hours to rid them of every coin they had on them, all their jewelry, every single weapon in their possession, and most of their clothing. They were also getting the message but, as Koko and Lulu gathered up the spoils, Koko had to twist the knife.

“Just so you know,” he said to their astonished and gaping faces. “It’s really bad luck to insult an Elf.”

La’ming hurried them out of there and back to the safety of the Circus campgrounds. Haul and all. There, she made the twins vow that they wouldn’t leave the grounds until the Circus left with them.

Three weeks later, when they left for another town, La’ming noticed that her savings jar was a lot more full than she knew it had been a mere week ago. Of course she confronted her adopted kids the instant she found it.

“Did you two have anything to do with the extra coin in my restoration fund?”

“Depends,” said Koko. “Are you mad about it?”

Lulu elbowed him. Hissed a stop-talking noise with some urgency.

La’ming took a breath. Parenting these two was a constant negotiation. “I’d only be mad if you took any risks. Like going into the town when I told you it was dangerous. Especially going into the town without an escort to make sure you’re,” not arrested, “safe.”

“We never left the circus grounds,” said Lulu truthfully.

“We gave all that stuff we skinned off’a those dudes to Monty so he could hock ‘em for us,” added Koko. “And we put all of it into your jar.”

“No Elf should have their ears docked,” said Lulu. “It’s painful and limits expression and…” her voice fell to a mumble, “…’n’ I read of how it can cause problems in y’r dome piece…”

They could have blown all that coin on fashion, luxuries, ingredients, or even treats for themselves. They could have wasted it on potions and pipeweed. “You… really put all that profit into my restoration fund?”

The twins looked at each other, and joined hands. “Every last copper,” they said together.

She swept them up in her arms and smooched the heck out of their adorable little faces. “Thank you, thank you. I’ve got the best babies in the world.”

“Stop it…” whined Koko without much conviction.

“You’re embarrassing,“ added Lulu without any honesty.

[1] Shandy: mixing small amounts of alcohol with large amounts of lemonade or sweetened soda water.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 5]

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