Koko met the newest addition to the apartment as he was descending the stairs. The little kid was wide eyes under a mop of dark brown hair. “Wooooowww… How’d you get your nails to do that?”
What was not to love about a little kid who introduced himself like that? Koko was ten, this kid was seven. He was way so much more mature than this kid. “It’s nail polish, kiddo. You like?”
“Yeah! They’re so pretty. Can you do that to anyone? Can you do that to me?”
How could he possibly refuse that enthusiasm. “Sure thing, holmes. What colour do you like?”
“There’s more than one?” The little dude was gobsmacked. “How many can I have?”
“Sweetie, you can have the whole rainbow and then some,” he patted Lulu on the shoulder. “You go on and get the stuff. I got me a manicure appointment.”
“I’ll make sure to forget the garlic,” sniped Lulu.
Koko couldn’t flick her a rude gesture, not with a baby present. Therefore, he sang down, “I’ll just leave the chilli sauce out when I cook…”
That argument dismissed, Koko lead the kid up to his flat. “So you’re with the Burnsides’, right? Mag… Maggie…”
“Magnus,” said Magnus. “I’m seven.”
Cute. Koko got into his own supply of polish and set up on the stairs so the kids’ folks could find him. The last thing he needed was Mom getting into trouble because Koko was futzing about with glamour.
Magnus opted for the entire rainbow, followed by silver, rainbow confetti, and holographic shimmer for the last three of his ten. It all took a while and Magnus was over the moon about it. Johaan Burnsides found them just as Koko was finishing up Magnus’ final pinkie.
“Oh, so here’s where you went.”
“Hey, Mr Burnsides. Your kid liked my nails, so…”
Magnus held up his hands. “I’m a rainbow!”
“Oh, that’s adorable. You wanna maybe show me how to do all that?” Johaan asked. “I get the feeling we’re gonna be doing this a lot.”
Koko smiled. “Well, I’m gonna need to replace the supplies, so… you know… a little pocket money wouldn’t hurt…”
“Twenty bucks and I throw in a gig for your mom’s birthday.”
“Sold!”
Mom found him, hours later, giving careful instructions to the Burnsides, including hints and tips, about how to do nails. Magnus studiously colouring Avi’s nails NWPD Blue, whilst Koko was doing a more complicated finish for Johaan’s digits.
“Prettying up the world?” she said.
“One finger at a time, mom.” Koko had to grin. “What can I say? I’m a genius.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 0]
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Magnus honestly did not mean to perv. He had successfully avoided glancing at Elven anatomy for three adventures, so far. It was here in this tiny space, changing into their null suits, that his gaze drifted onto what Taako happened to call underwear.
Those were not Fantasy MeUndies. They were panties. Definitely panties. Frilly, lacy, expensive-ass panties.
Well sure, he knew Taako was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide, but still… panties were a little bit of a shock, all things considered.
“Checking me out, there, lugnuts?” Taako teased.
Magnus went redder than his null suit. Nevertheless, he fought to maintain some kind of composure. “Aw come on. Y’all’ve seen me with my dick out.”
“Much to my regret. You’re furrier than the gorillas in the Fantasy Congo.” Taako, still wrestling with getting his suit open, turned around, revealing that there was a printed lipstick kiss over his crotch and -yes- little satin bows with zero purpose. “See anything you like, there?”
Magnus couldn’t help himself. “I gotta have a pair of those for the next Midsummer Fair. Complete the look from the skin out.”
Taako pretended to retch whilst Magnus helped him open up his null suit. “Puh-leez. As if I’d assault my complete aesthetic with your hairy ass.”
“You didn’t mind my hairy ass in Goldcliff.”
Merle, fighting with how to do his suit back up, said, “I thought we agreed we were never going to mention that again.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
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Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 29 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter, grand larceny, panic attacks, drug use, and Taako plays Magnus’ ass like the bongos.
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 28 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter: Koko gets some therapy, falls deeper in love, and decides to enjoy life. Lulu feeds some ducks and decides not to be an asshole to her brother.
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 27 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter: The path of true love is paved with the burning thorns of ABJECT EMBARRASSMENT… and a little sibling revenge.
[AN: To save on archive trawling, that one is this thing.]
They came the day after someone else had cleaned up all the mess. The nice thing about putting a new being into the world was that nobody expected much out of you for, like, weeks. On the other hand, hachi machi, it fuckin’ hurt.
Yet all of that was worth it for the incredibly tiny bean nestled in the crook of his arm. Sound asleep and unaware of everything but his Apa’s scent and heartbeat. At least until the invading horde came in.
“Please be quiet. If you wake the baby, we will literally kill you,” warned Krav.
Magnuts entered first, followed my Merle “plantfucker” Highchurch. Tailing behind them was Lup and Barold. All on stocking feet, all in breathless wonderment.
“Oh my gods…” whispered Mango. “Is it baby Angus or baby Lulu?”
Taako was still wiped out, but being catered to hand and foot was helping him rally magnificently. “Meet baby Angus, literally born yesterday.”
A little hand stretched outwards and Mango intercepted it with his finger. That tiny new hand couldn’t reach around Magnus’ meaty digit. Amazingly, this caused the big lug to cry.
“…’s so smol…” he whimpered.
“Yeah, that’s completely normal,” growled Merle, barely remembering to keep his voice down. “What, you expected him to come out instantly ten years old?”
“Oof, gods no,” mumbled Taako. “This was more than enough of a job to get out. I still feel tender.”
“Everyone goes gaga for babies,” Merle complained. “Or should I say ‘googoo gaga for babies…”
Lup just crawled up on the bed with them. “Aaaw… lookit those stiff little half-Elf ears… Do they wiggle and jiggle when he has a little drinkie?”
“What’s the point? There’s babies born every day. Thousands of them. Hundreds of thousands…”
“You’re not stealing my baby, Lulu. You and Barold can make your own.”
“Babies every gods-damned where…”
She glared at him, in between careful strokes of that exposed arm. “How the fuck did you manage to do this before I could?”
“And every single time, oooh, they’re so small…”
“Jealous?”
“…oooh they’re so tiny…”
Lup looked away from him, but couldn’t stop looking at Angus. “…yes.”
“Like you’d want a Fantasy Green Bay Linebacker to pop out?”
“Well… both of us thought it wouldn’t happen, so precautions went out the window and… you know how everyone was in a mood after we won the war…” He shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t attached to the arm holding his baby. “It happened anyway. Will of Istus, I dunno.”
“There’s only so much room, up in there, what the fuck do you expect?”
“Istus should’a given me one, too.”
“Why is it so Pan-damned surprising every single time?”
“You didn’t have a body at the time.”
Angus whimpered. Just a single note of complaint, but it was enough to make the whole room freeze. The whole room except Krav, who got to do the changing and, if things were particularly messy, the bathing as well.
He zoomed in and hovered, watching their son intently. “Is it almost time for Daddy to come to the rescue?” he cooed. “Does my little baby boy want some Daddy cuddles?”
Angus smacked his tongue and remained asleep.
Krav did not deflate. “I made a beautiful baby,” he said, apropos of nothing. “All that hard work was worth it.”
Taako glared at him. He’d been like that for Angus’ entire life so far. “You know,” he said, “as I recall, bone daddy, I was the one doing the hard work. You were just… circling like a vulture.”
“And taking you to prenatal checks, and making sure you had the right nutrition,” Krav added. “And giving you massages and looking after you and taking care of the catbox so you didn’t have to. And I bought us all that baby stuff.”
Taako sighed. “You did, but I still maintain that that wasn’t as much hard work as growing and birthing this little nugget.”
Angus released Magnus’ finger and let out a more determined whimper. Magnuts almost leaped away and said, “I didn’t do it.”
“Now he wants Daddy,” sighed Taako. He helped with the transfer and slumped back into the pillows. He looked imploringly at his sister. “Are you sure you want your own? It’s a rough gig.”
“I’ll take two dozen like that one,” she insisted. “Poop, crying, and territorial husband boasting included.”
Barold, so far quiet and out of the way, turned bright red. He had been married to Lup for fifty worlds, in love with her for over a century, directly in her aura for literal decades, and he still blushed like a choirboy every time her lust was pointed in his direction.
“Good luck,” said Taako. They were going to need it.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
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Canon
There was an impossibly small boy writing in a notebook. The pencil seemed to be moving too fast for a child of his apparent age. Officer Snocoun Ton boggled at the boy. He was smaller than some dolls she had seen for sale in the fancier parts of Rockport.
He looked up from his work, noticed her, and waved. “Hello, ma’am. Are you the officer sent by the Rockport Militia?”
Sarcasm bubbled out of her. “No, I’m a serial child molester and now you’ve told me everything I need to know to abduct you.”
His smile was relentless. “That’s a pretty good goof, ma’am, but that uniform is too old to be a rented costume, and too well-kept for that as well…” he spent the next twenty minutes detailing every last tell that showed how she really was a Rockport officer and not -for example- someone attempting to impersonate one.
“Okay. I get it. You’re a genius. Why can a literal child help the Rockport Militia?”
“I have a fascination with crime, puzzles, and mysteries, ma’am. I’ve run out of the normal ones, so I’ve taken to reading the Watch Blotters and… well… I think I have something that might help find and apprehend the serial murderer known as Cheerful Charlie.”
Sno was tempted enough to peer at the notebook over this child’s shoulder, and found weird little sigils within. “That’s… scribble,” she said.
“It looks like that to the untrained eye, ma’am, but this is a form of code. I’m only three, so writing is a little complicated, so I used this code to write things faster. It’s a variant of Elscrypt, and each of these symbols is a whole word. I cut my time down even further by cutting out unnecessary bulk words.”
“Uhuh,” she said, doubting this in its entirety. It wouldn’t be above the Chief to send her out after a crank witness. “And what does this Elscrypt tell you about Cheerful Charle?”
“Well, ma’am, he only seems to have a random attack pattern because he strikes in the streets. I’ve plotted all the confirmed murders on a map and they all happen between two districts. The Crumbledowns, and the Meat-packing factories.” He turned the pages towards a map with a number of red ink dots.
Sno felt a chill. Seeing it like that… It looked really obvious.
“I posit, ma’am, that Cheerful Charlie strikes on their way to and from their place of employ. I’ve outlined the likely travel routes in green.”
Holy shit.
“And you want how much for this?”
“Oh, I don’t want money,” he said. “I just want to help the constabulary apprehend this offender.”
Glass Canon
It didn’t take a genius to see that Snocoun Ton, misplaced Elf from a different dimension, was not a happy camper on the moon. The Sno he was used to ordinarily had her pointed ears drooping downwards, but this Sno had hers almost all the way down and more often back than not.
She was separated from her family, from her home, from people she loved and from people who loved her. She was worried about everyone she knew, and surrounded by bizarre doppelgangers that just threw everything into sharper and deeper contrast.
There was little he could do to be concrete help. What she needed was something a little boy could not provide - a way home. What he could provide was company - however strange it was to her. Or some form of… bonding activity.
Sno - his Sno - took more than a little time to warm up to anyone. She seemed to treat time here on the moon as an unnecessary distraction. What he needed to do was help her find it necessary.
Sno was always devoted to her work.
So. He had some plans. Bonding over Steamwork Fiction - or as she called it, Steampunk - or bonding over solving a mystery. He could help with either, so he prepared both.
He found a couple of volumes of Fantasy Jules Verne, and a file of arcane activity in recent months. Clutching both of these prizes, he took them to where Sno was sunning herself in the quad. She looked close to tears.
“May I intrude, ma’am?”
She opened her eyes, stared at him, and shrugged. “I know you know me as… a different kind of Angus, but… I know a different kind of you. I thought… maybe these could help… if not help you feel better, then at least help distract you from the stuff that’s making you sad.”
She upgraded from depressed to melancholic. It was a slim sort of progress, but at least it was progress.
Three Gremlins
Angus was pretty darn good at hiding. It came from being small. He was almost due to turn seven, which meant that Nono was seven and a half. She shot up like any Beach Elf in an environment of love and care. Therefore, she looked to be in her early teens at a stretch, and late tweens for sure.
It was bad enough that she couldn’t act her age, what made it worse was that she had decided to use Taako’s show to search for her birth mother. It had been months, and there wasn’t any sign of her.
This was definitely a case he could take on. Therefore, between shows, he got Nono to tell him everything she knew about her mother. Most of it was hearsay from her grandparents, who disapproved of her, but there had to be some truths in the vile rumours they were wont to believe.
He had a few pieces of information he could attempt to confirm. One: Minmin Ton was seventy-eight years of age. If she were living and working with Humanmen, then she could easily be pretending to be one hundred and one. Taako had said, more than once, that he had pulled a similar ruse when he was underage. Some were even fooled.
Minmin Ton had a sketchy reputation ever since Nono’s conception was confirmed. The rumours were so varied and so disgusting that Angus discounted them all.
Interestingly, it was Taako’s drunken horror stories that were most informative. Whilst he couldn’t give the exact address where Minmin might live, as most of them were gentrified by now, he could give the shape of the area where she might be. In Rockport, they were called the Crumbledowns, in Goldcliff, they were called the Shanties. In one distant city, its name forgotten by Taako, they were called the Shades. Here in Neverwinter, they were called the Shambles.
Every town had them. They were the areas where the flotsam of the city tended to wash up. Because the rents were cheap. Because the landlords didn’t ask questions. Because the entire place was full of folk who were scraping to get by. Because bigger criminals called the lesser criminals who lived there ‘scum’ and ‘villains’. Because birds of a feather flocked together. Because the miserable loved company.
Places like that didn’t have citizens. They had denizens. They grew gangs like reefs grew moray eels, sharks, and octopi. It was a dangerous place. Even the little fish had sharp, sharp teeth.
Angus didn’t dress fancy to go in there. Neither did Nono. They knew damn well that, in a place like that, nobody would pay any attention at all to two more grubby kids in their braies and tunics, so that was what they wore.
Roaming through the Shambles, they found her. Walking the streets in a skirt made out of something gauzy and starfish pasties on her breasts. She had a distinctive chain around her waist and an equally distinctive amulet around her neck. Earning money with the only thing she could sell. Working a job that she clearly hated.
She recognised Nono in an instant. Looked to Angus in brief horror, and then to his ears in relief.
She said, “What happened to Gamgam and Peepums?”
Nono said, “They were assholes, so I ran off. I’m in a better home, now.”
“Here?”
“No… With a travelling show. The dude’s nice.” Considering Taako’s stories, Nono knew what was up with Minmin’s work. “Come on and at least meet him. He might be able to help.”
Minmin shrugged. “Eh. I can’t make rent today anyhow.” She threw on a cloak she had hidden in a junk pile. “I’ll tell my story and you can tell yours.”
“Deal,” said Nono.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
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those elf lifespans though
⭐ contact/donate/social media links ⭐ TAZ fanart tag ⭐ please don’t use/repost without permission
(Source: jamscandraw, via jamscandraw)
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 24 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter: The twins taking the entrance exam to get into the IPRE
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
She was clad all in black from tip to toe. Most was a black so dark that it was nearly impossible to tell shape and form within it. She wore a white porcelain mask with a carmine bow of painted lips. She was unreal. She was real. She was the goddess to whom all must answer.
She was Death.
She was not taking her sibling if Sno could fucking help it.
“You can’t take him,” she argued. “He’s not dead.”
The thing that looked like a woman tilted that unearthly pale mask that could have been her face. “He is close,” she whispered. The spectre of Death never has to shout. It has never needed to. “He lives… only because it is too much bother to die.”
“True,” said Koko, held safe in her arms.
“You’re not helping, baby bro,” said Sno. “We’re fighting for your life, here.”
The man known as Kravitz, lately revealed as a Reaper stood between them. “My Queen. Please. He has paid enough and more than enough for what he has wrought. What would taking him to the Eternal Stockade remedy?”
“He has disrupted the flow of life and death,” she whispered.
“Rearranged,” said Koko. “I rearranged it.”
The white mask turned. Its empty eye holes failed to intimidate. “You. Dare?” she whispered.
“Yeah. You got it wrong, there, birdie.” Only someone who had no emotion could dare talk to the Raven Queen like that. He could not fear because he had no love left. Not for his life, not for anyone else’s. “I rearranged the flow. Like. Weirs, dams, and canals kind’a thing. Listen. Everyone alive still has the chance to donk things up so bad they beef it. Meanwhile, if they look after themselves, they could live as long as an Elf. It’s not immortality. It’s… It’s making everyone’s race the same distance.”
The living shadow moved, and Sno flinched him away. “He’s only thirty. He’s practically a baby! If you take him before he dies, you’re just as bad a criminal as you say he is!” Sno took out her wand. She’d seen what had happened to all the others who tried to use their powers to fight the Raven Queen, but she took it out anyway. If this bitch was going to take Koko, it was going to be over her dead body. “Back. Off.”
“Why’re you even fighting for me?” said Koko. “It’s not like I could ever be happy anyway…”
There was the sound of knitting needles…
Another figure was present in this space. A figure of veils and rainbows and eternally clicking needles that ravelled together the threads of fate. If she had eyes, none could focus on them, yet she saw all.
“Do not snap this thread, Raven. My weave has changed. So many paths are altered. He is the crux.”
Those who were conscious there all said, “What?” in turn. That included the Raven Queen.
“He has forestalled the end of the world. He has reversed the path of the great ruin. We must help this child.”
“What?” said Koko.
The bristle of onyx feathers around the Raven Queen’s collar flattened and the gigantic shadow shrank. “You claim him as yours?”
“I do,” said Istus.
“Then we shall see the echo of the wound in his soul,” whispered the Raven Queen. “We shall see what can be done… to heal it.”
Sno still had her wand aimed at the black figure. “You hurt him, I kill you.”
“You… may certainly try…” She had long, black talons instead of hands. “I will not harm him. I will not take him. You have… my promise.”
Istus said, “I shall keep him safe.”
Of the two, Sno trusted Istus a little more. She lowered her wand, and relaxed her guard on Koko. The kid remained where he was, as apathetic as he had been for five entire years.
Threads sprang out of both Istus’ knitting and Koko’s body. Beautiful things of every hue, in a tangle that was impossible to follow with a mortal eye. Long black talon and elegant finger both traced the knots. A discussion occurred in a language Sno could not comprehend.
They were… bickering? It was certainly an animated huddle. Fingers pointed to one crucial spot, just as Lulu recovered enough to shakily sit up. Istus summoned something that looked almost like a crochet hook and made a few deft moves.
“What’re you doing to my baby brother?”
The threads returned to their origin point. Koko was weeping. “Lulu… Lulu, you’re okay?”
Lulu launched herself at him. “You’re back! You’re back, I can feel it! You’re back…”
“I’m back,” he said. “But… the spell? Did you break it?”
“No,” whispered the Raven Queen. “Your work is intact.”
“All I did was stop the source now that it’s no longer needed,” said Istus. “Mortals. You all think it’s all or nothing with things. Don’t. Remember that you need to stop and breathe.”
Kravitz was murmuring in the Raven Queen’s ear. Or maybe the side of her head. It was hard to tell. “Yes,” she breathed. “You have not had any time for yourself… you may go, though I may call on you if I have need.”
Koko breathed. Shaky, uneven breaths. Loaded with emotion. His mismatched eyes were heavy with tears. His face didn’t know what to do. “Mom… Mama… Mags… Everyone… Is everyone okay?”
Sno almost crushed him in her hug. Lulu was right. He was back. Back to the sensitive, caring, loving kid he had been when he became so upset with mortality that he wanted to change the entire world.
Sno had never been so happy to have that Koko back.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 3]
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