[AN: I think there was a prompted AU in which Angus was somehow a Taakitz baby so I’m taking it from there]

Angus Taakoson had had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. The forces of fate, fortune, and family were all against him. He kept hearing ‘no’, the cats kept avoiding him when they weren’t hissing and clawing at him, he had just discovered the Wards that pushed him harmlessly away from all the interesting places. Then, to top it all off, to make a wet, miserable day even worse, Apa served Angus a plate full of broccoli.

It smelled bad. All the cheese sauce and sparkling lights in the world could not make it smell better. Angus pushed the plate away and said, “Yuck! No!”

Apa smiled in spite of the plate of yuck and produced a plate of yum, Apa’s incredibly delightful Sweet Potato Mash. “Good little boys eat their food, Ango,” he said. “You can’t say it’s yuck until you’ve had some.” Instead of the yum, Apa put a tiny little bit of broccoli and a lot of cheese sauce on the spoon. “Try a little, and you get some sweet potato after.”

Somewhere in the blurry distance, Aunty Lulu said, “You can’t bribe or bargain with a baby, bro.”

“Yeah, like you got experience points in that,” grumbled Apa. He waved the spoon in the air. “Aaaaahhh?”

“‘Course I got experience points, I raised you didn’t I?”

Angus pinched his lips together and turned his head away. “Mm-mm!”

“Listen,” said Apa. “I can keep all of this as warm and as fresh as I like all day. Sooner or later, you’re gonna be hungry enough to eat anything.”

“NO!”

Apa was quicker. He popped the spoon and its horrible contents into Angus’ mouth so neatly that it all came as a shock. He could taste cheese, but he knew, he just knew that it had been poisoned with the horrible, horrible broccoli yuck. Therefore, so had he.

Angus screamed and wailed, thrashing all four limbs and tossing his little baby head as he fought against the torturous restraint of the high chair.

*

Seven heroes and their significant others were watching this performance, one up close and personal, where he had just received the world’s tiniest broccoli floret to the face at maximum possible velocity. Cheese sauce included.

There was a lot of giggling.

Kravitz was trying to be a stern Papa, but was rolling ones at the sight before him.

“What a big drama from such a little boy,” said Lucretia.

Magnus was in absolute fits, holding himself up against the closest counter and wiping tears from his eyes.

Merle was crowing. “How do you like it? How do you like it now, smartypants? Shoes on the other foot, boy…” He was referring one of the hundred worlds in which the Twins were turned into Terrible Elf Larva and he, Merle, was chief in charge of making them do anything related to their needs.

Taako calmly used the spoon to scoop the cheese-and-microscopic-broccoli-floret off his cheek and waited. Primed to pop it back in that howling baby mouth as soon as opportunity allowed.

Davenport, watching with the cats from a very safe high shelf, sipped his wine and said, “Why am I having flashbacks? Why am I having flashbacks?”

Lup, still giggling, said, “Oh, you know. Dad’nport.”

Barry said, “I’d either use Command, or just… wait a few weeks before introducing him to broccoli.”

At the mention of the hated word, baby Angus renewed his howling protest against that particular vegetable.

“I am not,” announced Taako, “going to lose a battle of wits to a gosh-darned toddler.”