I wanted to do this whole thing as a comic but I’m a writer not an artist so baby steps and all that. I’mma write the rest of it here:
Kravitz stepped through the portal into the living room he now shared with one of the most famous elves in the world. Taako had been at a press conference that day with the rest of the seven birds, answering questions about the Hunger attack and all the secrets an extraplaner might have. He was sure that Taako would be in a great mood when he returned, excited from all the attention and his increased fanclub.
Instead, he found Taako sitting quietly on the couch, an old piece of paper clutched in his hands. When Taako noticed Kravitz enter he shoved the paper into his pocket, but not before Kravitz managed to see that it was an advertisement. A poster for an old Sizzle It Up With Taako show that showed the elf standing there with a confident smile arms spread wide and various ingredients spinning magically around him.
@interstellarvagabond, forgive me for what I am about to do…
Asked and Answered
Lup knew the signs instantly. Her brother was about to shred that fucking tardigrade-level scum for asking that question. Very possibly with Evard’s Black Tentacles. She whispered, “Taako, mm-mm,” for all the good it would do.
The luckless personage of the press repeated their question. “Taako. What is your weight loss secret?”
“Heard you the first time, homie,” said Taako. Putting on that fake-ass smile that meant that murder was a viable option for him, right now. “You want to know how I managed to lose like twenty pounds between the time of Sizzle it Up! and the Hunger War. It’s not that hard you know.” He took a deep breath. Let his inner rage show. “You just have your best friend and business partner let you think you poisoned forty fucking people to death and then get that kind of eating disorder where you’re god-damned afraid of food for six fucking years.”
Magnus, ever the protector, stood and loomed in the general direction of the newsie who’d been hoping for some diet tips. “Taako’s in recovery from an eating disorder and it’s still early days for him. Thanks for being an asshole.”
What hurt most is that Lup couldn’t hold him. She was as ephemeral as smoke. Sure, she had a body brewing in Barry’s tank, but it would be six months too late by the time she had arms to hold him.
“Koko,” she cooed. Trying to soothe.
His ears were flat back in barely restrained fury. His hair was starting to frizz up in a certain sign of anxiety. Lup knew it before he said it. “I’m gonna go make a huge batch of peanut butter brownies. Wanna come mage-hand things around with me?”
Fuck.
He only made brownies when he was in the shittiest moods. And adding peanut butter? He was fucking allergic to peanuts. So… food he could not eat. And stress baking added to that. Emotionally speaking, her brother was circling the drain. Thanks, asshole.
Fortunately, Lup knew exactly what to say. “Only if you let me make those peach custard danishes with the caramel toffee drizzle.” The only food in the multiverse to tempt him into eating when he did not want to eat.
Taako… imploded. His face collapsed into a rictus of rage and misery. He curled in on himself as a few rough sobs tore out of his throat. Three of the IPRE crew were around him in instants, but not before a few fantasy cameras got a good shot of his breakdown face.
They dragged Taako off to Barry’s kitchen. Small but serviceable. Big enough and stocked enough for Taako to bake his emotions and for Lup to make her danish balm for them.
He had his with whipped cream. Made with vanilla sugar. Breathed a sigh that could easily pay for early release from the Eternal Stockade. “Best sister in the world,” he said. “In the multiverse.”
“Natch,” preened Lup. “You gonna be okay?”
“I can make it home,” he allowed. “Don’t know about dinner.” Another sigh. “I need Krav.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said. Already planning to rip the scythe out of his gorgeous hands and throw him through a rift if she had to.