[AN: Proof that we’re egging each other on with these things. Also pun regifting is a thing (Image describe: chat interaction between myself and @dualityandsuch where her ask is between the two of us plus a minor bit about Elves and processed sugar]

“Have fun, darling.”

“It’s a pre-show rejuvenation sesh, it’s never fun. It’s hard to look as good as my sister, these days.”

“You always look amazing to me,” said Kravitz, adding a farewell kiss.

Taako smirked. “Sap. I’ll make an effort at enjoying it. For you.”

Angus, at their elbows, said, “I’m sure you’ll look more than lovely when you’re done. Not that we’d be able to tell the difference between splendid you and regular you.”

“Flattery will get you extra dessert,” smoothed Taako. He summoned Garyl and was off at top speed.

Krav breathed a sigh of relief and clapped his hands. “Right. You and I?” he said, “We’re making Taako some treats.”

Angus jumped and clapped at the idea. “That’s excellent, sir! He’s always out of sorts after a beauty regime. Some treat food would help him feel so much better after a long day.”

Krav looked over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen - forbidden ground when Taako was home - Taako was well away and accelerating, but he had an over-the-horizon detection system for knowing when fools were about to mess up his kitchen. “Now, Mr Detective. What should we make?”

“Taako generally makes cookies when he’s in a bad mood, but he rarely eats them,” Angus reached up to one of the more battered tomes and flipped to a stained page. “He much prefers these as a foodstuff, sir.”

Kravitz looked at the recipe. “Berry, cream cheese and chocolate chip muffins?”

“He keeps a supply in a bag of preservation in a nook hidden in the master bedroom, sir,” said Angus. “He usually rations them, but I’m sure he won’t mind some fresh ones with whipped cream.”

Kravitz clapped his hands. “All right. Let’s get these ingredients together… Eggs, flour, mascarpone, butter, berries, honey… It doesn’t say how much chocolate chips we need.”

“His recipes never do, sir. Taako says, never let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips you need. You measure that shit with your heart.”

“He does?”

“That’s a direct quote, sir.”

“That explains why there’s never partial packets of chocolate chips in the kitchen,” Kravitz shrugged. “Okay. Directions. We can’t screw it up too bad if there’s proper directions, right?”

Angus made an uncertain noise and said, “We can try not to screw it up.”

*

Taako’s journey back to his home was a lot more careful than his trip towards the temples of vanity that made him appear super special for his impending interview. A team of technicians had, after all, spent hours on his face and hair. He had another team each per hand. At least Garyl never wrecked a manicure.

He could smell trouble in the way his husband and apprentice were waiting for him at the door. He could really smell trouble in the way Krav had an apron on over his lovely suit. It was the way they were smiling, though, that triggered his final fuckery alarm.

“What have you two been up to?” he asked.

Krav’s picture of innocence was badly forged. “Who says we were up to anything, Dove?”

Taako gave him his best stop-the-horseshit glare. “Do I need to go through what my Perception Check picked up?”

He smiled in that super-sexy way he had. “We made you a little treat. To lift your mood.”

“It’s still baking, sir,” added Ango.

Good. “Great. Then I shouldn’t ruin my makeup for the interview. You two didn’t leave a huge mess in my kitchen, did you?”

“Cleaned up every last spill and stain,” said Krav. “And we set up the sunshine parlour for the people coming by.”

“They should be ready just before the interview ends,” said Angus. “At least, if my math is accurate.”

Ango’s time math was way more reliable than Miller Academy’s ridiculous equations. “Good for you. If temptation ruined this makeup, I’d have been pissed.” And, because this kid was more or less his son, he added, “That’s very thoughtful of you. Thanks.”

Which was more of a shock to them than anything else he could have done. Good to know he could keep his family on their toes even now.

One deep inhale told him everything. They’d made the berry cream cheese muffins with chocolate chips. His favourite.

It was true. He had the best family.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 82 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Memory recovery is a tricky, tricky thing.

Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 80 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

There’s nothing like new math to make old mathematicians angry.

Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 78 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Feeblemind spell used in this chapter. Those disturbed by this should know that I tried to remain respectful with it.

There are children whose destiny it is to have their names pronounced in italics. When people are talking about them, they roll their eyes, scoff, and mutter things like, “Ugh, Darren,” or, “Karie? That little asshole…” If they survive to maturity, one might guess that they grow out of it. One may even hope that they become decent intelligent beings.

Taako knows one of those kids, and his name is Jason. He’s exactly that kind of kid that anyone might love to hate. He was, to use the kindest words, obnoxious, annoying, gross, and a spoiled brat. Most of this was because his mother, Susan, was the kind of person who saw Jason through rose-tinted glasses until five days after she met Taako.

Jason is also on Taako’s doorstep with a confused expression, a suitcase, and a note pinned to his shirt. To realise how pathetic it is, one might also have to be informed that he is also three years older than Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective and all-around actual genius.

Taako, at this stage of “too early in the morning” (aka 8AM), was tressed in a large T-shirt that reached his knees and literally nothing else. He still had the twin braids he put his hair up in for sleep, and eighty percent of his morning coffee. He glared blearily at Jason and said, “The fuck are you doing here?”

“The fuck if I know,” said Jason sullenly. He stopped picking his nose to poke at the envelope pinned to his sweater. “This is for you.”

Taako gingerly removed it with Mage Hand and stared at the unfolded paper. “Mmmmnnngh.” He turned away from the door. “Ba-a-a-abe? Can you read this? My eyes literally can’t focus on Susan’s horrible handwriting!”

Angus McDonald bounced into the scene like a peppy living advertisement for some miracle antidepressant and said, “I can read it, sir.”

Taako handed it over and said, “Mazel tov,” then slouched into a corner and slurped at his coffee.

Angus translated. “It says here that Mrs Hackniid has had a family emergency that’ll keep her from looking after Jason, sir. She needs her attention undivided for up to three months, and is therefore leaving her son in your capable hands.”

“Fucking what?”

“Capable hands, sir. Her exact words.” Angus pointed to the place where they were written. “She says she knows you’re the best person available because you’re fostering me and running a school.”

“More fool her,” said Taako, who had reached the ‘not yet’ indicator on his coffee mug. “Sucks to be you, kid. You’ve been abandoned.”

“Sir! This is no time for goofs…”

“Come on. Three months is the perfect time window for a clean get-away. New location, new identity papers, new bank account, all of it. Even you’d have a hard time tracking her down with a three months’ lead.”

Jason started with the crocodile tears.

“Ugh, shut the fuck up. Suck it in. Deal with it yourself because literally nobody else cares.”

He turned off his wailing and gnashing of teeth off like it was on tap. That had always worked before… but then again, his mother had always been around to be angry at people until he got what he wanted. “What?” he said. “When my mom finds out.”

“If,” corrected Taako.

“I’m sure he’s goofing,” said Angus. “Come pick up your bag, and I’ll show you to one of the guest rooms.”

“You want me to do what now?” said Jason.

That was lesson one: do it yourself.

*

Lesson Two.

Jason awoke with the sun in his eyes and a rock under his butt. The discomfort alone was enough to startle him mostly upright. He was in the middle of nowhere. No hint of how he got there and just himself and the sleeping bag he was bundled in.

And Taako, nestled in the crook of a tree and wearing hardy adventuring gear.

“Shit’s hit the fan, homie. Tell me the most important thing you need to survive.”

He took a deep breath. “MOMMEEEEEEEEEE!”

“Cute, but no chocolate cigar. Your mom isn’t going to be around for your whole life. The sooner you know the important stuff, the better off you’ll be.”

“What’s so important about camping?” he argued.

“This isn’t camping, buckaroo. This is survival lessons. And eff why eye, my sister and I had to cope without our mom since we were twelve. Nobody cared about our sad tale, and I could care less about yours. Answer the quiz. What do you need to survive?”

Jason threw a tantrum, tearing up the sleeping bag and throwing rocks and sticks in any direction. He ripped leafs off of branches, punched at trees and screamed and screamed and screamed while he kicked and punched at anything in reach.

Taako was unimpressed. Cleaning his fingernails until Jason wound down.

“You’re not helping,” he whined.

“I’ll help when you’re ready to learn, kid.”

“I hate you.”

“Mutual,” said Taako, still cleaning his nails.

He sat and sulked, watching a tiny bug make its way across the bare earth. He was too tired to bother squashing it. “I’m thirsty,” he whined.

“So… whaddaya need?” prompted Taako.

“I need some wine.”

“Wine’s the advanced classes, hombre. You’re still on the Primer. ‘Sides, you don’t really need wine.”

“That’s not what my mom says,” said Jason.

“I’m shocked,” said Taako. “Come on. What do you actually need?”

Jason actually took a moment to think. It hurt his dome piece. “I need something to drink. Like wine or small ale or cider or hot chocolate or milk or juice.”

“Or…?” added Taako.

“Or what?”

“Or the most basic drink there is. Falls out of the sky. You can bathe in it. You can even find fish in it.”

“You want me to drink water?”

“Ding ding ding, we finally have a winner. So. You need water. Any ideas on how to get it?”

He looked up. “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna rain? How’m I supposed to find water?”

Taako answered his question with a question. “How does water flow?”

“You idiot, it flows downhill!”

“So look downhill.”

He went that way. Taako followed at a reasonable distance. It took less than twenty minutes to find water and Jason crawled on his belly to drink from the stream. Taako, beside him, knelt to scoop up the water in both hands and slurp from there.

“If an angry bear comes along, you’re fucked,” said Taako conversationally. “Gotta be ready to run in a cold second when you’re in the wild.”

A catfish, mough big enough to bite his face off, came up from the depths, aimed at his head. He choked and screamed and rolled away from the stream bank. The illusion glittered and faded away as Taako patted his back half-heartedly.

“I hate you.”

“Noted and logged.” Taako had a waterskin that he filled in the water. “Wanna try drinking again?”

He was smart enough to imitate Taako’s kneel when he drank this time. “Do I get a waterskin?”

“It’s make your own, homie. Can’t help ya.” He stood, shaking his hands dry and observed, “Sun’s getting real low.”

Only now did he realise that he had torn the shit out of the only sleeping bag for probably-miles. All that was left was rags and wind-blown scraps of fluff.

“Where am I gonna sleep?”

“Where would be safe?” asked Taako.

*

Three months later.

“MOM!”

Susan almost didn’t recognise her boy. For a start, he was riding a deer. Secondly, he looked a lot less like the sallow, doughy boy she had left on Taako’s doorstep. He had a bow hooked over his shoulders and a quiver at his waist and… he was significantly fitter than when she’d left him behind.

What had that Elf done to her helpless baby boy?

The deer skidded to a halt and Jason hopped off so he could hug her. “I was almost worried,” he said. “Mr Taako kept insisting you’d left for good, but you’re here exactly three months from when you left, just like you said.”

Susan kept staring at the deer, who was eyeing her like she might be edible.

“Oh, she’s cool. This is Nightbright, I tamed her myself. Watch this. Nightbright? Down.”

The deer knelt and looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

“You… tamed… a deer?”

“And loads more, mom. Mr Taako’s been teaching me how to survive in the wild! I made this bow? And these arrows? And this waterskin? And I tamed Nightbright and learned how to ride her? And I was gonna learn how to make a saddle, but Mr Taako says that bareback is faster? And I can weave a temporary shelter outta branches and I’ve nearly caught up with Angus, mom!”

Susan latched on to the only phrase that fit her limited world view. “You’re on an academic par with Angus McDonald?”

“No, mom. Survival. Like, if the worst happens, knock on wood,” he rapped his own head, “I can get you an’ me an’ dad to safety. Isn’t that neat?”

Belatedly, it dawned on Susan that her son was calling a grownup by a respectful honorific and using ‘neat’ as a descriptor rather than any given insult.

A second deer bounded up to them. A large and impressive stag. This one had a very small boy on it. “Hello, ma’am. Taako will be here in a minute or so. Was everything sorted out to an amenable finish?”

She was still stunned by the transformation of her son. “Yeah. It was… it was sorted out.”

Now a third deer appeared, with Taako on top like a classic woodcut. He looked every last inch the stereotypical Elf. “Hail and well met. I guess you want him back, right?”

Susan nodded. “How did you manage this?” she finally stammered. Tell me your secrets… what was the magic spell?

“Oh, you know how it is,” Taako dismissed, dismounting. “All kids really need is a firm understanding of action related to consequence, and certain motivation to learn.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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Taako stumbled out of bed to make his morning dose of caffeine to find that about a dozen Gnomes were inhabiting the Aga. Three of them were cooking, but the rest were examining the entire rig.

Thank the gods that the coffeemaker was on a tall shelf out of their immediate reach. “Somethin’ I can help y'all with, my dears?” He set the kettle onto a hotplate.

“Where are the controls?” said a spokesGnome. “What if we want to make it faster?”

“Listen,” said Taako. “It’s an Aga. It doesn’t have controls. It has specific heat areas. If you want fast food, my sister’s pretty zippy on the old hotplate. I cook cuisine, my friend. That’s worth the wait.”

The Gnomes all looked at each other. There was a small conference.

“We could make it so you could hard-boil an egg in less than a minute,” they offered.

“Sure, you could,” Taako said. “But it would be the shittiest hard-boiled egg you’ve ever eaten. Trust a five-star chef. Some ovens don’t need min-maxing.”

“By the way,” said one of the Gnomes at floor level. “You might want to at least put undies on when you’re out in your nightshirt. The view from down here ain’t complimentary.”

*

There apparently was a coffee room, now. Lup squinted at the machine dominating three quarters of it and mumbled, “Izzat our coffee machine?”

“What is it with you Elves and not wearing underwear?”

“It’s fuck off inna morning. Coffee before pants,” Lup yawned and stretched. “D’z that make coffee or izzit gonna go boom?”

“One way to find out!”

“Millennia-old tree house, babe…”

Too late. The lever thrown, the machine rumbled into life with the kind of bass thrum that makes a body uncomfortable with its place in the universe, especially considering the relative distances between itself and the closest privy.

Steam hissed. Gears ground. Water bubbled through a percolator. A distinctive smell issued forth as a liquid black as night poured into a carafe.

Lup shambled towards it. “Coffee…”

“Uh. You might wanna be careful, that’s Gnomish coffee.”

Lup chugged down a cup. “HELL-lo! That’s got some fuckin’ KICK!”

Concerned Gnomes stared at each other. “You sure you’re all right, there, dear?”

“YEAHI’MFINE, THANKSFORASKING, I’MGONNAGOPUTONSOMECLOTHES, ANDGETTHECOBWEBSOUTTATHERAFTERS. WELL. TALLCEILINGYPARTS. HEYBARRYYAGOTTATRYTHISSHIT, IT’STOTALLYBOMB!”

Barry, by comparison, was only wearing underwear and wisely watered his coffee down by a significant portion. “I’ll get her to help shape the new branches. That aughta help her calm down.”

“Y- She’s immune…?”

Shrug. “As immune as an Elf can get. Century with each others’ coffee can get you used to anything.”

*

“I want to see my baby girl,” cooed Agatha.

“Here she comes,” said Tilwyn Strongburrow.

Ella laughed and gurgled, kicking in anticipation. For her and her alone, it would be completely normal to have a half-Elven co-mother as part of the family. There would be comfort and security in a half-Elf’s arms and rest achieved by the steady purr.

She alone would find it perfectly normal to be nuzzled by creatures twice her size, and have siblings that weren’t related to her at all.

It was the rest of the family that would have to get used to cuddle puddles in or out of a cote made for the purpose.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 7]

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Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 73 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Taakitz modern fantasy fluff. Yay!

This had to be one of the weirdest cycles they had ever had the misfortune to live in. There were semi-intelligent creatures, but they all looked like weird conglomerations of lumps with random features attached.

Worse, communication was nearly impossible. They could scavenge fruits and hunt meat, but getting along with the natives was… weird.

“This lot,” Taako threw up an illusion of a blobby pink thing with too much in the way of lips and arms improbably thrown onto their head, “are called Jaa’m. Don’t ask why. This whole system was made by some truly malevolent creator.”

“They only do applesauce,” said Lup. “And you gotta dance to get it. Like… their dance? Which is so lame that even Barold would be embarrassed to do it.”

“…hey,” objected Barry.

“It’s true, Barold,” said Taako. “This is beyond mortifying.”

“Did you get the applesauce?” demanded Davenport.

Lup started unloading bags of it. Actual bags. There were no glass jars, nor bottles, nor anything that would make sense to put applesauce in. Just. Bags. Bags for the applesauce that their Captain craved.

Davenport opened a bag and just dug in there with a spoon. “Ho yeah… that’s the stuff.”

“This… this is the nightmare scenario,” mumbled Lucretia.

“So…” said Magnus, valiantly ignoring Cap’n’port and his weird cycle-specific addiction. “Any signs of intelligent life? Or of the Light?”

“Trust me broceph,” said Taako, “I think this reality might be better off for us not finding it.”

For once, Lup was silent about pulling the trigger on an entire civilisation. She was having doubts as to whether this one counted.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 7]

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It didn’t take the world’s greatest detective to figure out that something was up with Taako. The rest of the Reclaimers were dealing with the aftermath of Refuge, but Taako was more chipper than he had ever been. He was smiling a lot more for no apparent reason. His step was lighter.

Even more peculiar was the fact that people swore they heard Taako humming. The Elf who swore nobody would catch him singing… humming. 

It didn’t take the world’s greatest detective to notice, but Angus McDonald did it anyway. Since he was tasked with being the special Seeker for the Reclaimers, he took it on himself to discover what had gotten under Taako’s skin. Which didn’t take long because -duh- world’s greatest detective.

Taako was arm in arm with someone. Smiling and laughing and apparently fascinated with what this someone in black had to say. All the body language they had practically shouted that they were deeply into each other. They even kissed.

Oh.

Taako had a boyfriend. That was an interesting revelation. He wasn’t exactly being discreet about it, but he also wasn’t shouting it from the rooftops. His business should remain his business.

Except…

Angus remembered one wine-soaked evening when Taako got crying drunk and went on an extensive diatribe about his bad luck with men. He always chose the pretty assholes, he said. The lovely ones that left him, after stealing everything they could from him. It had devolved into an off-key rendition of Rainbow Connection with the words changed to include the refrain, “The liars, the cheaters, an’ meeeee…”

Given historic precedent, it was safe to assume that this sartorial stranger was going to do something horrible to Taako at some point, whether or not the Elf deserved it. Sure, they were happy now but the gloss was doomed to come off of that gingerbread, given Taako’s extensive past.

So Angus followed the stranger, keeping himself from Taako’s notice as they strolled together in the pink haze of fresh love.

It was when they finally bade each other a good night that Angus made himself known. Unfortunately, this also happened as the stranger transformed into a black-robed skeleton.

Angus tried Hold Person, but it didn’t do much. 

The skeleton transformed back into a very handsome man and asked, “What the hell are you playing at, kid?”

He still had his wand out, running through the list of spells he could reliably perform and idly wondering if skeletons were vulnerable to piercing damage. He could easily guess that they weren’t. “I’m not afraid of you,” he lied. “If you tried anything against–” shit. Words. Taako hadn’t exactly formalised what kind of deal they had together. “–my mentor… I’ll fight you.”

An elegant eyebrow raised. “It would be a short fight. Do you even know what you’re planning on fighting?”

He couldn’t keep the tremble out of his voice. “You’re a l-lich in d-d-disguise. You w-www-want the G-grand relics and you’re using Taako to g-get them.”

The puzzled expression softened. “I’m no lich. I’m a Reaper.” He summoned a scythe with the Raven Queen’s emblem on it. “I hunt down liches and bring them to judgement.” The scythe vanished into the pocket dimension from whence it had come.

Angus wasn’t convinced. “You could be using illusions to do all that.”

“True,” allowed the stranger. “I could. Consider this counter-argument… If I was evil, I would have zero trouble with hurting or killing you because you were in my way. This is a very foolish way to approach someone you think of as a threat, young sir.”

Belatedly, Angus remembered Rule Five - don’t get into the middle of a fight. Taako would be incensed that Angus had forgotten that one. Glass cannons, he repeatedly said, have no business being in the middle of a battlefield. He was too used to having the Rockport City Watch backing him up, or being under the watchful eye of one of the other Bureau staff members. He was so used to never being alone that he had forgotten that he actually was alone.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” said the stranger, and offered his hand. “My name’s Kravitz, and I promise that I would never deliberately harm Taako.”

Insight check - nat twenty. He was honest. He was truthful. All the same, “What’s your real goal here, please?”

“My goal?” Kravitz laughed. “I… I want to enjoy as much time with Taako as I can. Nothing more. He’s… incredible. Unbelievable. He’s…”

“An ass?” suggested Angus.

“Yes, that too. And I love him anyway.”

Well. Okay. “I’m still keeping an eye on you, sir.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Taako’s star pupil. It was nice meeting you, Angus McDonald.”

Wait. How?

“I’m the Grim Reaper. I know everyone’s name.”

*

On the next date, as they were sitting and watching an amazing sunset, Kravitz said, “Met your kid.”

“Huh?” said Taako, and winced at the banality.

“Well. Your student, protege, or apprentice. What’s the word for it, these days?”

“Angus fucking McDonald? You met that brat?”

“I didn’t know his middle name was ‘fucking’… but yes. He threatened to fight me if I was out to hurt you.”

“Cute, pointless, and a complete reversal on Rule Five. I’m gonna have to give him extra drills f’r that.” Taako considered the actual implications for a second. “Did he win?”

Kravitz had the most wonderful smile. “I managed to defuse the situation with logic and reason,” he said. “He’s making sure I don’t hurt you.”

Gods. That was so fucking adorable that Taako wanted to hurl. Of course, Taako couldn’t say as much out loud. “Eh, babies get attached to the weirdest things…”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 7]

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By the third home visit, Angus felt a little more confident about Mr Taako and Mr Kravitz meaning the things they said. Especially when it came to choosing his clothes. Their first shopping trip had arranged one ensemble and one set of pyjamas, that were still there and waiting for him by the second home visit. Further, Mr Taako and Mr Kravitz let him pick out another outfit to wear if he wanted one.

Which was still there today, for his first week with his potential parents. This time, the destination was not Fantasy Costco, but a rather more extensive clothing establishment with every possible fashion choice for every possible size from Kobold to Gargantuan.

“Seven days, seven outfits,” said Mr Taako. “Anything you like, and they’re guaranteed to have it in your size. Anything you want, pumpkin. Anything.”

Mr Kravitz folded the handle of a pull-along basket into Angus’ hand. “You can mix and match if you like. There’s no such thing as a bad choice.”

They had never uttered the phrase, “Are you sure?” when he was picking out stuff before. They asked, “You like that one?” and accepted his answer. 

Angus avoided the racks containing over fifty shades of grey. He had had enough of grey in the orphanage. The bright colours dazzled his eye a little too strongly and he didn’t want to wear all black like Mr Kravitz did. Therefore, the improbable alternative was pastels. As he approached the display, the default human mannequin shifted to become a mannequin Angus, replete with matching skin tone, showing off the best-selling ensembles including dresses and skirts.

Angus blushed. The orphanage had Views about clothing non-options according to gender.

Mr Taako leaned down to whisper in his ear, “Anything you want. No judgements here.” As if to prove his point, he reached out and grabbed a flowy, flower-patterned dress with frilly overhangs and draped it against his own body. “This would look sweet for the summer heatwave…” Then he draped it against Mr Kravitz. “Oh yeah, babe.”

Mr Kravitz smiled warmly and said, “Dove… this is for Angus, not for us.”

“Who says we can’t all have some fun?” scoffed Mr Taako. “Let’s enable our little lad. Come on.”

Angus still feared the watchful eye and the sharp tongues of the nurses and the staff of the orphanage. As if they were following his every move once he was past the severe iron bars of the institute’s fences. Thus, he edged carefully closer to the racks of pastel blue. Still a boy colour, even if it was a baby boy colour.

No lightning, jeers, nor vengeful figures of wrath descended on him from above, behind, or anywhere. He picked up a pair of pastel short pants, and the display showed him a myriad of garments that could go with.

He put it back before Mr Taako could ask the question. He didn’t like it. He picked it because he was supposed to. The next garment almost leaped into his hand. A pair of culottes. Pleated and swishy and with a nice, smooth feel under his hands. They looked real nice on the Angus mannequin, too.

Realisation dawned that he didn’t have to pick blue, either. He replaced it with a pastel teal coloured one, then a green one, then a powder orange.

“Like that one?” said Mr Kravitz. He was wearing a pale blue, floor-length gown, now.

Angus found the courage to speak. “…’essir.” Just… not very loud.

Mr Taako had found a fountain of frills in a rainbow of colours and was swishing around in it to make the frills flare out. “I think this baby needs glitter, how about you?” he said.

“Babe,” chided Mr Kravitz. “You already have three of those in different colours…”

Mr Taako struck a pose. “What’s wrong with having four?”

Angus let the interplay go on while he looked at the matches for the culottes. The gods of vengeance and destruction failed to appear when he picked out a frilly shirt with slashed sleeves, either.

He spent half an hour playing with a dress with rainbows of mermaid sequins that all flipped to a glittering black, but he didn’t end up putting it in his basket. He preferred to move on to other things.

Having seen Mr Taako lounging around in footie pyjamas, he had to at least look at them and see if he really liked them. So far, he was comfortable in the enormous and soft giant T-shirt, but now that he’d seen Mr Taako being comfy in a set, he had to look.

Too tight, when he tried a set on. Not his thing.

There was no judgement from his rejection, either. No cries for him to hurry up. No disparaging remarks about his ability or lack thereof to make up his mind. Just Mr Taako and Mr Kravitz in different, pastel-coloured outfits as the day progressed.

Angus finally reached a count of seven, and didn’t protest as Mr Taako threw in another multipack of underwear. He did protest when he saw the rainbow mermaid sequin dress come out of the basket and join the rest of the clothes on the way to the checkout.

“I- I didn’t… I didn’t pick that, sir?”

“Want we should put it back?” offered Taako. “I saw you playing with it, I thought you liked it?”

He couldn’t say he didn’t like it. Because he did like it. It was just… “…dunno if I’m brave enough t’ wear it,” he mumbled.

“You can still play with it even if you don’t wanna wear it yet. Everything in here is charmed with Good Fit,” Taako breezed. “How d’you think Krav and I had so much fun with the merchandise?”

Mr Kravitz added, “It’s okay to want clothes and never be bold enough to wear them. So I’m told.”

“I have entire closets of clothes I’ve never worn,” added Mr Taako. “Don’t mind if ya wanna play with ‘em bee tee dubs. It’s half the fun.”

Angus did that, but always made sure he had ‘proper’ clothing on when he did. He could get braver. Eventually. Just… not this week.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 9]

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