The Lonely Hearts Cantina…

“Say, are there any teens here?” said Merle.

“You really aught’a not say that,” said Nono. “You’re giving off like a million creepy vibes.”

The Elf in the corner transmuted his table into meat. “DAMNIT!”

“Whoah,” said Magnus. “We should sign that wizard up! He just made the entire table be meat!” Aiming to at least hack off a slice and eat it, he rushed in to the corner… and recognised the Elf. “Taako? Oh my gods, it’s Taako… I loved your show, what happened?”

“…got cancelled…” he said. “D’ruther not talk about it.”

“Cancelled? But you were like the best! I still remember when you came to Ravensroost. You did this thing with the local cave slugs? Man, I never tasted anything so good…”

Taako seemed supremely disinterested. “Yeah, life goes in weird directions…”

“Okay, so… this job over here in Kreg’s List? It needs a wizard, a cleric, and a fighter, and… You could be our wizard.”

“What about the blue bean pole over there?”

“She’s a druid,” said Magnus. “Come on. It could be fun. It’s at least profitable. Last job you’ll ever need.”

The opposing party challenged them. “We got all the ones we need. How good are youse guys? I bet none of you ain’t shit.”

Taako stood up. “Oh, it’s on.”

*

“We only need the three,” Gundren complained. “Who’s the Druid?”

“She’s with me,” said Merle. “You want me, you get her.”

“Yeah, we’re kind of a BOGO deal,” added Nono.

“How old are you?”

Nono went for the default lie of every underaged Elf pretending to be an adult… I’m… I’m uh… I’m a hundred and…. one.”

Taako knew the lie well. He had used that exact lie in his own checkered past. What she needed was a grown-ass Elf to back her up. “It’s true,” he lied. “She’s a hundred and one.”

Nono opened her mouth to challenge him, then wisely shut it again. She would thank him later.

*

“…turns out Steven is a Rogue,” joked Magnus.

“I’ve got it,” sighed Nono, and busted out her thieves tools. She had the lock open in seconds.

“I thought you were a druid,” said Taako.

“I multiclassed.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 4]

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