dollygale:

thestirge:

So I heard this story second-hand, many years ago, but the gist was that a friend of a friend lived in what was generally considered a bad neighborhood, because he was a super poor college student and it was what he could afford. He didn’t have any furniture, he just slept on a blanket on the floor and had a milk crate for a chair and like an old wire spool as a table. No TV, nothing in the fridge, no microwave, basically just bare walls and a roof to keep the weather off. So one day he comes home, and there’s a man in his apartment, just standing there, with this look of utter amazement and horror on his face, and he turns to the guy who’s just entered and says, “This your place? ‘cause I broke in to rob you, but shit, man, you ain’t got nothin’. Wait here, I’m’a be right back.” And the burglar left, leaving a puzzled college student alone in his empty apartment. But sure enough, the burglar came back a while later, and brought some friends, and they delivered a table, a couple of chairs, and a small TV. “I think I got you a bed, too, but that might take a couple days.”

So, the poor college student made some friends. And he didn’t ask where they got the stuff.

Robin Hood

(via onigiro)

You’re asexual? But…

elodieunderglass:

mumblytron:

“but sex is what makes us human!”

 

in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his

doctoral dissertation under

heavy mortar fire.

he sends it by mail, a page

at a time, to his wife.

a week before he’s to step up to the podium and

defend his work rather than hiscountry

he is killed in action.

even as the bullets rip

through him he still wishes he could have become a professor

in French literature and

the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.

sex is

 

a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because

a week is not enough time to

get over a breakup.

her sister drives an hour across town,

comes up the front steps with

a gallon of ice cream and somebeer

and together they eat moose tracks and marathon

every

single

Godzilla movie

ever made.

 

sex is

she’s late for work but her car isn’t

starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.

she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed

one time too many already because her

father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone

needed to help him bathe.

the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits

the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help

steps on the gas like the car will go

and wonders how she will pay rent

and how she will feed her father.

sex is

 

it takes three people to hold the predator down because

even with the cover over his head

a bleeding eye and shattered wing

he is trying to hurt them.

none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but

they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and

put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because

it is right.

at first he is paralyzed and cannot

fly but soon he is taking steps

and then fluttering, and then soaring, and

six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.

once he is gone they never see him again

which means they’ve done their jobs right.

sex is

 

in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tiny television and

can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but

another planet.

the men on the screen look a little like

aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat

marshmallow arms

but they are still men.

her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that

this is progress

even if it was just a small step.

the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary

and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.

but sex is

 

a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so

he doesn’t.

when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted

gunshot wound, he locks himself

in the shower every day and sobs under scalding

water until it runs cold

so nobody will see him grieving

so nobody will see that tears are just love that

has no place left to go.

he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and

soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.

three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,

he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,

and telling them it’s all right to cry.

Sex is

 

the broken man tells the comedian

that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain

made it hard to see.

he seems okay but his leg

does not.

the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s

plate number scrawled on the back

in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man

can have his umbrella,

and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career

so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.

once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card

with kittens on it.

what makes us human

 

yawning is contagious,

and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.

melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,

can move us to tears.

the tallest building in the world is

two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.

in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight

to touching the moon,

and in one-hundred from the first phone call

to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our own creation.

we make pies out of tree organs

and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then

we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese is delicious.

what makes us human is

the earliest fossils of anatomically modern humans are

two-hundred thousand years old .

we have had pet dogs

for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer

than corn

or the wheel.

the steps we take are part of

one of the most energy-efficient gaits the

animal kingdom has ever seen.

we invented the concepts of love

and hate

and justice, and mercy

and we invented the language to convey them.

we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people

who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do

because we think

it’s right.

we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and

sorrow and innovation and

mercy and kindness and dreams

and failure

and recovery.

but sex is what makes us human.

I’ve reblogged this before but I like a different verse best every time.

(via primarybufferpanel)

Writers

sian22redux:

firstordershitposting:

lakritzwolf:

hydro-kanan:

justangrymacaroni:

Writer says: So I had this crazy idea one day and I just had to work on it. Here ya go!

Writer means: So I had this crazy idea either right before getting in the shower or right before falling asleep so I grabbed my fucking laptop and shat all over it to create the steaming pile of crap that I now lay before you. I don’t even know if it’s good anymore. I haven’t slept in two days.

Writer says: Wow, real life’s getting busy! Sorry on the slow updates.

Writer means: My life is a literal storm of shit at the moment. Why did I decide to do this. Why am I still doing this. Everything around me is spinning out of control and I am staying up ‘til 5:30 in the morning every night to create a piece of work that will only get two comments and 12 demands for quicker updates. I hope no one’s mad at me, all I wanted to do was write.

Writer says: Wow! Would you look at that! I updated on time! Please enjoy!

Writer means:  WOOOOOOHOOOOOO BITCHES LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTIVE ASSHOLE GO YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW TAKE THAT YOU NASTY REVIEWERS ALWAYS DEMANDING ME TO BE FASTER! I GOT THIS SHIT I GOT THIS SHIT

Writer says: This chapter was a toughie. Glad it’s finally done!

Writer means: I don’t know if this is good or not. I honestly don’t fucking know. I’ve read the same words over and over and over again and I just couldn’t look at it anymore. My beta said it was ok but I’m not confident but HOLY SHIT I JUST NEED TO STOP WRITING THIS FUCKIGN CHAPTER.

Writer says: Thanks for reading!

Writer means: Please, oh please oh please oh please leave me a review. A comment. Anything. Please tell me you’re out there. Please tell me someone is reading this.

Writer says: I just want to say that real life is getting pretty hectic right now. Please try to be patient with me, I know you guys want updates. Thanks! :)

Writer means: FUCK. YOU. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from me?! You don’t know my life! I have a very busy life! I create shit for free, you entitled son of a pig-fucker! STOP LEAVING ME COMMENTS TELLING ME TO UPDATE SOON OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL PUKE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER 

Writer says: What’s gonna happen next? Who knows? Hee hee ;)

Writer means: I have no fucking clue what the next chapter is going to look like. What’s my plot? I don’t know. I feel no emotion.

Writer says: Please leave a comment! It helps me write!

Writer means: I am begging you to leave me a comment because I swear it’s the only thing that’s keeping me motivated right now, I hate the work I put out and I need reassurance that people are actually enjoying this.

Writer says: I hope you enjoyed that chapter, big things are coming up! ;)

Writer means: Buckle up bitches, someone’s gonna die.

Writer says: I know I’ve missed a few updates, but I swear I plan on finishing this story! 

Writer means: *high pitched eternal screeching*

Writer says: Here we are at long last! This has been one wild ride. I want to thank you all so much for your support and love, I adore each and every one of you. I am so happy to say that this story has come to a wonderful close.

Writer means: My body is numb. Voices call out to me from the void, but I can no longer hear them over the beating of my racing heart. I am stressed to the point where I feel no relief. The story is done. It’s fucking DONE. I loved it, I hated it, it was a fucking storm of horror and pain. I can no longer see color. Now I can at last relax and…wait……wait a second………..holy shit I just thought of the best idea for a one-shot that’s totally gonna turn into a 50 chapter slow burn AU fic leT’S FUCKING DO THIS

@platinvmbz @pkmncoordinators IM FDISSK THIS IS PERFECT

Someone who understands.

how does this only have 800 notes

This.

(via weirdlet)

capslockapocalypse:

party-into-thesun:

sharkchunks:

basedgosh:

why would she sell sea shells by a sea shore when you can just pick them off of the ground for free that’s not how you run a business

She’s sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce. Since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, so she still sustains solid savings.

I couldn’t even read that in my head

(via youve-doomed-us-all-jerk)

micdotcom:

We have an epidemic on our hands (x)

(via youve-doomed-us-all-jerk)

Humans Are Weird

radioactivepeasant:

arafaelkestra:

arcticfoxbear:

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

(via bonehandledknife)

laqueus:

imagine a story where several astronauts go off to visit a distant and unexplored planet, and when they get there it’s the typical “everything’s trying to kill them” sort of situation, lots of hyper-predatory aliens, flora that tries to trap and eat them etc etc and the astronauts manage to escape and return home. and like after a couple of years for some reason they decide to try again with that planet, and this time they send the astronauts to a completely different part and they come out of their spaceship all suited up and kitted out with weapons to fight off the flora and fauna only to recieve one heck of a surprise because what’s this?? there are a bunch of aliens and they’re totally friendly and welcoming (and not in the “we’re totally gonna eat them later” kinda way), and the astronauts are like “????? what the? are we even on the same planet?” and after chatting with the aliens for a bit the astronatus find out that they previously landed in that planet’s version of australia

thesanityclause:

socialjusticesummoner:

oldcoyote:

i had a moment today while watching a whiny shitlord complain about the injustice of new sci-fi media having more female leads, i suddenly felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. i couldn’t pintpoint it at first but then out of nowhere, it fucking dawned on me

This is the single greatest meme in the history of the Internet everyone can stop making memes now we don’t need any more ever again

I think I’ve already reblogged this but I don’t care it’s just pure gospel

(via faireladypenumbra)

fenrislorsrai:

magickandmoss:

temporarilypermanenturl:

benwinstagram:

kanyolo:

nuggetfucker98:

legalizeact:

#SaveTheTrees

I feel like an important message is trying to be communicated to me but I have no idea what it is

Our forests are being cut down 3x faster than they can grow! One acre of hemp produces as much cellulose fiber pulp as 4.1 acres of trees!!! This is super useful for so many things, especially paper production! In addition, hemp takes in carbon dioxide 4x as fast as trees do, which makes it especially valuable in the act of reducing CO2 emissions/greenhouse gases! 🌲🌲🌲 source 

#the scope of the anti-hemp conspiracy in the united states is terrifying once you start doing research tbh#like it was initially smeared/banned bc lumber lobbyists pushed for it to be…#and a major smear tactic was to associate it with black people#who now a hundred years later are the ones primarily being imprisoned for it#and the plant itself has now been inextricably linked to the drug so people won’t even allow for it to be grown for commercial purposes#like paper making (via literallyfuckeveryone)

Important reminder that industrial hemp can’t be used as a recreational drug, so if anyone tries to pull that card you can just stop them then and there. There are no real arguments against using industrial hemp, even if you’re rigidly against the legalization of any recreational drugs.

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I never see pro-hemp on my dash, woo!

Usually the argument on why you can’t have hemp is because then people will hide marijuana in it.

yeah, sure…. if they want shitty, shitty marijuana.

It would be like growing sweet corn and dent corn together.  Yeah, they look similar at a distance and they’re closely related, but you don’t want them next to each other as they’ll cross pollinate and you’ll end up with bad versions of both.

Same deal here.  a patch of marijuana grown in an open field of hemp IS going to get contaminated and it’ll lower quality of BOTH crops.  Your hemp farmer doesn’t want that and if likely going rip out any patches trespassers try to add for same reason. 

and the big issue is not even the THC content.  Because most quality marijuana is intended to be grown indoors or greenhouses, its a dwarf variety. Short.  Fiber hemp is bred for height so as to maximize fiber production.  super tall. It’s going to be really obvious, really fast if you’ve got both in the same field even before you get to the point of pollination. what’s this runty bullshit doing in my field?

They also have different growing needs with regards to spacing, harvest time, etc. so the argument that you can hide marijuana in industrial hemp fields are basically bullshit.

anyway… aside from paper, hemp fiber can also be used to make earthquake resistant concrete that’s actually LIGHTER than conventional concrete while being stronger. It’s better at resisting flexing or warping, so ideal for stuff like bridges and highway supports as it’ll better resist large temperature swings and vibration. (”hempcrete” is slightly different, but makes great fire resistant insulation)

You can also use the waste after fiber harvest for animal fodder, including silage. Comparable to corn. and remember, that’s the waste after you’ve harvested for fiber!

(via georgeisabass)

thetattooedmezzosoprano:

rubesdragon:

justatouchofdeath:

lazerprincess

this is a collection of her photos, drawings and her suicide note, 

this is so even if her mom deletes her blog, everything is saved, 

her blog has already been removed and posts are being removed. dont stop reblogging this, dont let them silence us, dont let Leelah Alcorn be forgotten 

Never forget Leelah Alcorn, or the terrible injustices her parents did her, before and after her death. 

(Source: mary-on-the-contrary, via see-reverse-side)