Daily OpusEverything I write is freely rebloggable. Just keep the source and tell people about my books :D [Until I decide otherwise, my pronouns are Ze/Hir/Hirself. As in "Ze went to the shops to get hir medication hirself". Thank you for the respect.]
About 6 or 7 months ago, my neighbor got a drone. I don’t mind people having hobbies, but for some reason he insisted on flying like the biggest jerk possible. He would hover in front of other houses and windows, try to “race” cars going down the road, and worst of all he had a habit of flying his drone in my fenced back yard buzzing over my dog, diving low just over my dogs head before circling around to do it again. My dog isn’t small, he’s about 70lbs and a Malamute, but the drone terrified him, and I was worried what would happen if it hit him.
I asked my neighbor several times to please not fly in my yard and explained that it was scaring my dog, he basically told me to get lost and laughed in my face. When it still continued, I called the police. Unfortunately there wasn’t much they could do other than ask him to please not fly over my house/property.
Finally, in late December it happened - my dog got tired of his shit and managed to catch the drone right as it was diving towards him. He shredded the drone, the thing was just a jumbled mess of wires and plastic.
Neighbor was pissed. He stormed over to my house swearing and threatening me, which I ignored. A week later, I got a summons to small claims court - he wanted $900 for the cost of his drone and an additional $300 for supposedly denying him access to his property (the drone sat in my yard for a couple hours before it was retrieved). F*ck that. He could have killed my dog. I don’t have kids or a girlfriend, I just have my dog who is my best friend for the past 7 years. That dog has moved with me three times, was there when I graduated college, saw me buy my first house and my first new car. I love my dog.
Went to LegalAdvice, got some great help from them. Turns out, him suing me was the best thing to ever happen. When we got to small claims court, the judge basically laughed away his claims that I had intentionally trained my dog to attack his drone. But little did he know I was prepared. I had dozens of photos of my yard showing it was impossible for him to “accidentally” fly that low to my dog, videos of him harassing my dog in the past, and I had saved all my medical bills from taking my dog to the vet. $700 for an xray? Check. Another $250 to sedate him during? Why not, don’t want him being uncomfortable. Full dental exam with tooth cleaning/repair? $400. Then there was the cost of anti-anxiety meds and a secondary check up, wet food for a week in case his teeth were hurt, and extra just for good measure. In the end, the a-hole ended up owing me almost $2,000, and now is being investigated by the FAA for not having a registered drone and violating several FAA regulations concerning drone flight, too near an airport, too close to other people, out of sight of operator and waaay above the maximum altitude.
Enjoy never being allowed to fly drones again, d*ck.
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf).
By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.
You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.
The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.
“Hippopotamus.”
This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned
Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking “it’s fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. We’ll be fine.”
And at first you are, you’ve learned how to dodge. You’ve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.
But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You’re in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded “hippos” around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.
Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.
You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.
The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It’s musky and slightly foul. It’s the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.
You sit up, but it’s too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.
It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It’s between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.
Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn’t noticed before.
When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.
“Badger.” they say, with a solemn nod.
One word: Moose
“Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-”
BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!
“That’s called a moose.”
Wolverines.
Also.. dolphins.
The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet’s flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors’ accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared.
You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that… thing you encountered…
When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship’s air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.
And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone’s nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror’s spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn’t seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.
Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.
“The humans did say it was “grape” juice that removed “skunk” stench, right?“
Every night.
It came for someone almost every night.
Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight. They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved. Sometimes they’d find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again.
What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.
Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it.
The earth natives called the monster a leopard.
It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge. Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster.
But rumor was that there was worse on this planet. Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.
A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity. While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out. This other monster, the Tiger, killed with its pounce alone.
“We’ve been through this,” Group Leader 455 snapped. “The dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planet’s hellbeasts. And these are domesticated. Harmless.”
The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don’t want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can’t quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. “The name of this species,” she pointed out, “is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.” Well, one language out of several thousand—these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record—but there was no point in confusing the rank and file.
More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner. “That one,” she decided. “Alone in the separate pasture. Scans suggest that it’s a male, which means it’s probably weaker. Possibly it’s kept isolated so that the females don’t eat it before mating season. And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but you’re still soldiers of the Imperium. This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow.”
I’m enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for size…
It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as ‘Australia’.
“I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.” Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. “If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.” To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.
The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.
Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an ‘Emu’
“Don’t feel too bad,” the prisioner mocked. “We lost a war to the Emu’s as well.”
Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of ‘Zookeeper’ after all.
The ‘Zookeeper’ looks off to the distance, where the creature is.
“It’s a kangaroo, leave it be and you’ll be fine.” Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.
“That creature cannot possibly harm us.” Tar'van’s squadleader protests. “It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it’s head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.”
The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.
“Fucking do it mate, I dare ya.” The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called ‘Kangaroo’.
“This will be unpleasant.” A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The ‘Kangaroo’ looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.
Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now.
“I don’t know what they expected.” the human says, smugness filling their tone. “Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.”
Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.
“Please,” Tar'van bags. “Get us back safely.”
@kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary?
oh, mate, you never mess with the emus.
(Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos)
They had faced Emu’s. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.
Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. “Cassowary…” They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.
The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was “Its spring…. Magpie season…”
“Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!”
“Excuse me,” the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad’s cheers die on their lips. “This is Japan. You haven’t seen what–”
“Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!”
The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.
In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.
But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad’s medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier’s armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren’t even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier’s body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.
Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. “Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too.”
“How?” You ask. “How has your species dominated this planet?”
The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can’t help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)
“Persistence and ingenuity.” The human answers, still smiling.
It doesn’t matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet.
“And scattered about it … were the Martians–dead!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth.”
– HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,1898
I’m picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.
I think at that point they’d just give up.
Or fire ants
No one even MENTIONED snakes yet…
This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT.
“Let us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionship”
“Is that a miniature tiger?”
“Why does this human own a small pack of wolves?”
The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them.
“Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they’re the only animals that can keep up with us.”
The aliens look at each other in fear. “What do you mean?”
“Oh well that’s why you guys ‘won’ is because humans aren’t super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?”
“Uh… okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?”
“Omg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :)”
The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap.
Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships.
rebloging because Hamsters are the most demonic critter on the planet for real. also, hummingbirds. Humming birds will attack /owls/
I’m not much of a science fiction fan but, this is beautiful.
Please give me more I’m begging you all.
Anyone gonna talk about Rabbits yet? I have one and honestly, it looks cute and all, but those little demons will bite and claw you and you won’t see it coming
I’ve seen this several times now and I have to add to it because I love it so much enjoy:
They’d all been assured that this terran island was non-dangerous. They had few large predators, the climate was temperate and mild, and was comparatively small compared to many of the “countries” they’d been to so far. Kowixx had trouble believing this however. So far, it had been proven time and again that to assume safety on Earth was a death sentence. Xer squad leader believed that this place was safe however, and that meant they had to follow. The leader had been fighting on Earth for two months now; for soldiers sent to this hell planet, two months practically made you a veteran.
Soon, however, Kowixx was proven right. They landed on the beaches first, after an hour of travelling over cold ocean; the only way that they could approach as their airborne ships couldn’t survive the colder temperatures in the Northern hemisphere, and it was supposedly “winter” this time of year. Kowixx could only dream of being back on their moderate, non-extreme planet, thousands of jur’wens away. From the second they started marching up the sand, which easily caved beneath their feet, tall, spindly human structures were rising out of the sea mist. A shudder going down xer spine, Kowixx was sure they were being watched. Even more so when a dull grey shape glided down from the sky and landed in front of the squad leader. Xe ordered a halt and the men stopped. It seemed non-dangerous at first. Grey and brown, a rather dull looking creature with ridiculous webbed feet and a dark beak. It moved closer to the squad leader, as if inspecting. The squad leader wasn’t going to take any chances. Xe pulled xer weapon from xer side and fired. The creature screeched, its noise ear-piercing, its wings flaring up at the sand beneath it melted.
Immediately, its cries were repeated a hundred fold from above, and more of the hideous things began diving out of the sky. Keeping their heads down, they all tried to run, Kowixx muttering a prayer for xer life. Vicious sharp beaks bit and tore at the soldiers skin, the large grey beasts dropped more and more out of the sky, almost invisible in the mist if not for their demonic screeching. Some of them even crashed straight into the soldiers, with their full body weight, thorn like claws ripping at armour and hideous squawking hurting their ears. One poor soldier collapsed in the sand and was immediately set upon by four of the great things, screaming with bloodlust.
Eventually they made it to safety, sheltering in a human building. They captured a lone human later, and asked it about these creatures. This island was supposed to be safe?! What were these new monsters? The human didn’t quite get it at first, and then realised. “Ah, a seagull. They probably thought you had food. When you shot at them you pissed them off.” The squad leader frowned “so, we should’ve fed it?!” The human laughed, an awful sound after that experience. “No, if you’d have fed it they would never have left you alone. You can’t win against seagulls. You just have to run and hope they don’t catch up to you first”. The squad leader demanded to know if there would be any more of these beasts. The human looked away from xer, and focused on Kowixx. Kowixx felt xer heart double take as it said coldly “seagulls are everywhere here.”
If there was one thing
that Baerhwan had learned about this hellhole of a planet, it’s that
now matter how dangerous the thing directly in front of you looked,
there was always something even worse somewhere else – and if you
were really unlucky, “somewhere else” was five yards away and
getting closer all the time. He still had nightmares about the killer
bee incident. According to one of their human guides, honey bees were
considered to be a symbol of cosy, rural domesticity; it was only
later that Baerhwan had discovered that they killed more humans each
year than any animal other than humans themselves.
It was for this reason
that Baerhwan glanced at his superior with concern about xir mental
well-being.
He could understand the
admiral’s decisions. Naktok had seen almost a third of xir invasion
force decimated by the local wildlife – more than in the entire war
with the Lumati - and half of the survivors would be in psychiatric
restructuring for the next several years. So the decision made five
weeks ago to activate the Limsaq Protocol – something only done
once before in the entire history of the Imperium – made a kind of
vague sense. Nevertheless, Baerhwan had an uneasy feeling that the
plan wouldn’t go smoothly.
The Limsaq Protocol was
simplicity itself: a team would be sent back into the planet’s past,
and would alter the biosphere to make it more amenable to the various
species of the Imperium. It was rarely even considered, since the
consequences were hard to predict. The only other planet this had
been done to was Limsaq, which had originally been home to a
particularly vicious, expansionist and xenophobic species, the Schloq, who had been threatening several Imperium colonies and two
sourceworlds. A team had been sent back, and the Schloq (along with a few parasite species dependent upon them) had
been wiped out, reversing the extinction of several hundred of Limsaq’s other species
and ending the threat for good. It was a comparatively minor change
to the planet’s biosphere, and had resulted in a wholly new,
unpopulated and easily colonisable world.
Naktok’s plan went
rather further. Xe hoped to wiped out this planet’s native life
entirely, and replace it with species from other worlds – create a
whole new biosphere from scratch. Unfortunately the process would
take several tens of millions of years to work. Even with the use of
temporal hop-pods, the logistical undertaking was immense.
Naktok believed xirself
to be infallible and indestructible - a common flaw in xir species - and strode boldly and purposefully out of the hop-pod, ready to begin the process of destroying the local wildlife.
But when, just a few seconds after exiting the temporal hop-pod,
Naktok was bitten in two by a set of jaws that looked disturbingly
like those of a crocodile, only much, much larger, Baerhwan was not
as surprised as he might have been at an earlier time in his life.
This was Earth, after all. Of course it had fifteen foot tall, forty
foot long carnivorous reptiles with teeth longer than a human hand.
What else could there possibly have been, a hundred million years in the
past?
janin (who wrote this comic) & i were re-listening to that episode where taako & kravitz share two bottles of wine at their pottery class, and we remembered this bit of canon trivia about taako and almost died
I honestly don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the new life-action remake of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast felt the very random need to have Beast and Belle travel back in time so that Beast could lift a plague mask and claim that the plague had killed Belle’s mother or the fact that in the original book, Beauty’s mother was implied to be a fairy who was caught up in a political scandal with several other fairies including the fairy who raised the prince when the queen was away at war before trying to seduce him and ultimately turning him into a monster with the promise that he would turn back if he admitted that he was truly in love [with her].
Like I get why Disney couldn’t show the original story, even in the more ‘mature’ remake, but it baffles me that instead they were like, welp we still have to find a way to scar these children forever so…plague mask?
(Anyway the whole point of this is that you learn a lot of shit when researching for your book series, shit that you have to live with for the rest of your life, and either Disney completely missed that shit or they, responsibly, decided that they couldn’t show it in front of children but, irresponsibly, that plagues were an Okay Thing to show instead.)
Okay, now I need a B&B retelling with all that back story worked in. I never knew that the witch wanted the prince to fall in love with her.
*Waves hand impatiently*
I’m working on it, I’m working on it…
Well I’m working on an adorable fluff-filled series that combines many elements of various international fairytales but Beast is a main character so the backstory is definitely a main focus.
But even if you don’t want to wait for my books, the original Villeneuve version is on Amazon for $2.00:
Beaumont essentially committed story theft, took the idea, hated the female-to-male misconduct, and reduced it down to the version that most people know. Which is a shame because the original (okay I know not the original, similar stories with similar themes have been passed down for centuries) was way ahead of its time.
Wait. So are you telling me that stupid ass curse that made no sense (because why would the prince have to fall in love to learn a lesson in humility especially since he falls in love with the fucking embodiment of Beauty) is actually because the fairy was sorta evil and wanted the prince to admit he loved her but failed to specify it had to be her and aha, loophole?!
1.) You are right about the loophole. It’s the best part of the entire original story and it’s the point of it all. In my series, the loophole is going to be that he forms a fatherly love for Gretel and Hansel but the original is just as good and again, way ahead of its time for reasons I will get to in a second.
2.) The reasons it’s ahead of it’s time: The fairy wasn’t just ‘sorta’ evil. She was pure evil. She raised a child and when that child was old enough (fortunately he was an adult in the original and will be in his mid-thirties in mine), she attempted to seduce him and when he refused, she cursed him and branded him as the villain for not putting out and honestly, would we be even having this conversation about how horrible this is if a sorcerer did this to a princess? No. But Villeneuve wanted you to have that conversation.
And I know what you’re thinking (or should be thinking):
Wait a second.
A villain in Beauty and the Beast who tries to seduce another character, gets turned down, and tries to get everyone to see that they’re the one in the wrong? Yeah. No one steals other characters’ roles like Gaston.
3.) There. Is. No. Stockholm. Syndrome. The merchant (”Maurice”) steals the rose and when Beast and is like, “Dude, what the actual f—” the merchant offers one of his daughters up instead of him and Beast is like, “Dude…what the actual f—?” and so Beauty sacrifices herself and shows up to the castle and the merchant just begins badmouthing Beast and Beauty calls him out on it and reminds him that this is his fault and when the merchant leaves her, Beast is just like, “I…have no idea what just happened but as long as you’re here, you’re going to live in luxury” and at no point does he ever act anything but nice and courteous to her and literally her entire time there is basically a prolonged Be Our Guest segment and what’s interesting is that he frequently asks if she will marry him and when she says no each time, he shrugs and says, “Fair enough” and walks away with absolutely no grudges because he’s not going to be like the enchantress that’s lusting after him.
The rest of the book descends into the madness of fairy politics but the point is that Beauty was the first person to see that ‘Beast’ was not a monster but was really the victim in all of this and she’s the first one to treat him with kindness and love instead of greed and lust and that’s what ends up breaking the curse.
So basically Beauty and the Beast is the story of a victim of manipulation and unwanted seduction being villainized by society before being saved by the one person who was kind enough to give a damn about what he went through.
Concept: a tabletop roleplaying campaign where all of the party members are drawn a tribe of Lawful Good kobolds serving a gold dragon. A very, very patient gold dragon.
Potential PC concepts include:
A paladin of Bahamut with an incredible Olde English accent (affected, of course - they think that’s how paladins talk, and no-one has been able to persuade them otherwise)
A dragonsoul sorcerer with enthusiastically terrible aim, who mostly uses their high Charisma to apologise
A rogue ostensibly seeking redemption for their extremely complicated Dark Past, the particulars of which never seem to be the same twice
A bard who serves as the tribe’s lorekeeper, and plays the role with a great deal more confidence than their actual grasp of the historical record warrants
A long-suffering fighter whose uncommon command of common sense is mitigated by their poor observational skills
More:
Lawful Good or not, humans mistrust kobolds on principle, so certain measures have to be taken when your quests take you to human lands. Past efforts include three kobolds standing on each other’s shoulders with a hat of disguise (it generally ends poorly), and “I’m actually a very short dragonborn” (it works more often than you’d think).
On the flip side, trying to “act natural” when confronted with other monstrous humanoids in order to take advantage of their automatic assumption that you’re on Team Evil. Unfortunately, Lawful Good kobolds have very little notion of how a Chaotic Evil person behaves; fortunately, most larger baddies don’t really pay attention to kobolds anyway.
Pissing off other dragons by converting their kobold servants to Lawful Goodness.
(Late in the campaign, there’s a scenario where the party has to go undercover as ordinary minions, and the whole thing is basically them Clark Kenting their way through a series of potentially lethal misadventures, where the challenge is less surviving and more getting through it all without giving away the fact that you’ve got like 20 Strength and fifteen hit dice, or whatever.)
