The flat was dark when he returned. This was nothing new. What with the frenetic activities of two super-genius nosy busibodies, there were many times that their flat was dark and empty when one of them returned to it.

Nothing new on the noticeboard, their chief way of non-facetime communication. Not even an encoded dirty limerick. There were only shelf-stable ingredients in the pantry, of course. They weren’t in long enough or often enough to trust things like eggs and milk to last long enough between uses. Taako would flip at the dehydrated eggs and the long-life milk cartons, but… he never had to know about this flat and he liked it that way.

What gave Angus pause was the bag on the hatrack.

Agatha’s bag, and her bandolier of useful things. Hung on the hook like they always were when she was in.

He followed her usual path from hatrack to bedroom, finding her shoes kicked off and laying where they’d fallen. She must have had a long and tiring day, then collapsed into bed for a short nap.

She was curled in a ball on top of their bed. Clothing tossed off in brief fits of uncomfortable consciousness. In the grey light of darkvision, Angus could see a sheen of perspiration on her beautiful skin.

And hear…

thrrtt… thrrtt… thrrtt…

The soft, barely audible, broken purr of clear distress. He didn’t need to touch her to know she was sick, but when he did, she was burning hot. Her feet were ice cold and her brow was hot enough to cook soup on. When he added a gentle, questing hand to her belly, she moaned in protest, but didn’t wake.

Right. This was bad, bad beans.

He left a note for her on the board, just, Gone out for supplies - G. and hurried to where he could get some fresh stuff at this hour. Taako always insisted that fresh and as natural as possible was always the best. Ginger. Garlic. Chicken stock. Chicken. Vegetables. Cinnamon. Honey. Lemon. Socks of Comfort. Compress of Cooling. Seven different things that promised to soothe an upset stomach and enough painkillers to cause concern in the clerk.

“Sick wife,” said Angus. “We’ve only been married a couple of months.”

“What’s she got?”

Angus listed off the known symptoms and asked if there was anything else that could help her out. Unfortunately, the answer was negative.

He rushed back and got the tea started and carefully wriggled the socks onto her cold feet. Then equally as carefully eased the compress onto her fevered brow. Next - soup.

Taako had indeed taught him everything he knew about cooking, including the bare basics and variations of his nigh-famous ginger garlic chicken soup. Good for anything that ailed a body except maybe death. Even then, it had been known to warm literally the coldest heart.

Tea ready, Angus got together some painkillers - ones also good for easing a fever - and a few stomach remedies and brought them to Agatha.

She was resting a little easier, which made it horrible to wake her up. She complained with an inchoate groan.

“I know, love,” he cooed. “Got some stuff to help you feel better, babe.”

“Thanks babe,” she croaked, fighting to attain an upright position. Painkillers and stomach meds, then slow sips of tea. “…dunno what this is, but it hit me like an ogre.”

“Clerk said it’s going around. The good news is, it goes through quick. The bad news is, it’s hell.”

“Don’t catch it?”

“Trying not to.”

He let her rest for the two hours it took for the soup to be done. Sleep was her ally in this battle. Then it was time to wake her and feed her as much as she could stomach.

Good thing half-Elves could meditate just as well as the full-blooded ones. He’d need that little trick to stay fresh whilst Agatha needed care.

It was hell. And it was over inside of four days. Agatha was left weak, wrung out, and wan, but she would get better from there. Which was just as well, because he had been incredibly worried for those four days.

The best thing in the world was being able to snuggle up next to her without a worry in his head. It was also the best sleep he’d had in a week.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 4]

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[AN: (Still Alive playing in the background) Taagnus isn’t my favourite but I can see how they’d be FWB during SC]

Magnus was used to being strong for Taako. That was how it worked. Then Taako was feeling weak, lonely, or emotionally tired. It happened more often when Lup died. He really had to be strong then, because Taako was most likely to go off the rails when his sister was dead.

Today, though, some random virus had managed to assault him. Something that had killed Barry and was close to killing Luce… and now had got to him despite their best efforts to prevent it.

He felt like dog shit that had been dragged backwards through a hedge and set on fire. He felt weaker than a newborn kitten and less able to focus on the world outside his bed.

Hot soup and cold water kept appearing by his bedside. Cold compresses and hot water bottles eased his discomfort. He was dimly aware that someone was sponge-bathing him.

It was a sweat-soaked and uncomfortable time, but someone was invested in his survival and, given that Merle was shitty at that sort of thing. The weight he sometimes sensed on his bed was too heavy to be Cap’n’port. He hadn’t thought anyone else was even bothered with his continued existence. He’d be back next year like nothing ever happened to him.

Why should they care?

His name was Magnus Burnsides. He was eighteen. He’d been eighteen for twenty-five years. As time slipped out of his grasp, he didn’t know whether to curse this attempted saviour or bless them. It all depended how shit he felt whenever consciousness wrestled with him and won.

Blink.

Retching into a tub. Someone’s hand was stopping him from falling out of his bunk and into his own puke. Soaked in sweat and down to his undies under a sheet that had been tossed on and off.

“Let it out,” said a voice on the edge of his awareness. “Don’t hold back i’morko.”

A glass of water. Cool and fresh. Pressed to his lips. “Rinse. Spit.”

He did that.

The form that leaned him back on the mess of pillows was a blur in the reds and golds of the mission uniform. Couldn’t be Taako. Taako always ditched the uniform at the first opportunity.

“…who?” he croaked.

“Don’t sweat it. Here.”

A concoction of milk, herbs, and honey. Comfort-warm and a blessing on his ravaged throat. The stabbing in his stomach eased.

“Just rest.”

Blink.

Shivering in the darkness. So cold. A presence leaning over him Snuggling up close. Whoever they were, they were a furnace. Someone moved around the hot water bottles. Someone brushed his face. Calloused hands.

“Sssh. Sshh-shh… Deep breaths, now. Deep breaths.”

He tried his best until he sank back down again.

Blink.

The soup had chunks in it. “You remember how to chew, right?”

He did that. The meat was spicy and soft. The liquid around it was warm and comforting. The blur in front of him was a little clearer. Darkish skin with lighter patches. Golden hair tied up in a red kerchief. He couldn’t focus on the eyes and easily tell which twin had the tonic.

“…lup?”

“Guess again, homeslice.”

Blink.

It might be daytime, but he was alone. Sprawled out on his bunk and unable to lift a finger. Running footsteps coming towards his position and he couldn’t even move his head.

The red blur was back, fiddling with his button fly and muttering under his breath. “…stoopid-ass fashion designers, those assholes never had t’ pee in a hurry in their lives…”

Magnus smiled. He knew that complaint. By heart. His voice was a rough and ghostly rasp. “…hey taako…”

Taako finished wrestling with is upper buttons. “Hey. Feeling better yet?”

“I feel like wrung-out laundry after it’s been beat on a rock.”

“Yeah, that’d about get it. Luce said that’s how she felt when she beat it. You’re on the way back up. So there’s that good news.” He made to feel Magnus’ brow.

“You wash your hands?”

Now he could focus on Taako’s mismatched glare. “No, I stuck both hands up my ass and came straight to you.” His hands were damp and smelled of the lavender soap they made on weekends. “Fever’s broken. Want help getting into the shower? ‘Cause you smell like boiled ass.”

“You’d know what boiled ass smells like,” quipped Magnus. Which was a cue to the usual joke.

“Of course I do, I boiled your ass the last time you died. Stank up the ship for two weeks.”

He laughed so hard he fell to fits to coughing.

“Easy, now. Easy. No joking for another week.”

“What? No sponge bath?”

“Naw, ya gotta try an’ walk as soon as you can. You got some atrophy going on, and -uh- don’t look.”

Given how weak he felt just sitting up, he decided not to look at how bad he’d got. The crew had taken to covering any mirror on board when disease or injury ravaged the survivor’s bodies and faces. There was already a cloth over the mirror in the bathroom.

Close to, Taako also looked like hell. There were signs of Blight up his neck and his eyes were hollow. He had a kind of boiled ass aroma to him and his hair was kind’a greasy.

“Were you looking after me the whole time?”

Taako rolled his mismatched eyes and scoffed. “No…” which was Taako-ese for ‘yes’.

Magnus didn’t argue with his horseshit. He just said, “Thanks,” and added, “Maybe you should help me stand in the shower.”

“Eh. Whatever.”

Which was Taako-ese for, “Sure, but don’t make a big deal out of that.”

They showered together with a few more hugs than necessary. Just two people surviving the disaster together. He didn’t say a word about them sharing a bed to rest. He didn’t say a word about how often Taako actually showed he cared during his recovery.

That was how they rolled. That was how it worked. For them.

[TAZ Prompts remaining: 5]

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[AN: I mean… he can…]

“Sir, there’s an Orc claiming that he’s family, wanting to see your baby,” said the nurse. “If you want him escorted from the premises–”

“Neosemo?” Angus started up from his chair. “My boy is here?”

The nurse looked startled. Agatha and Agnes were sleeping, but Agatha opened one eye and mumbled, “Cool it.”

Angus gingerly toured around the bed as he murmured, “I can verify his identity if I can just see him…”

Neosemo was waiting politely near the ‘no admittance’ sign. He saw Angus through the window in the door and waved.

“There’s my boy,” cheered Angus, speeding up to greet his adopted son with a hug.

“Hey Dad,” said Neosemo. “I got here as soon as I could.” To the nurse, he said, “Can I see my baby sister now?”

Angus made much ado about insisting that all remained quiet, because newborns needed their sleep to grow. Agnes was two days old and Agatha was still recovering from getting her out into the world.

Thusly, Neosemo entered the ward on tip-toe.

“Holy shit,” he whispered, “Elf babies are fucking tiny…”

Agatha opened one eye again. “You try pushing one out, sometime.”

Neosemo gave her a tusky grin. “Yeah, okay. I won’t complain again. Can I hold her, yet?”

Agatha scooted over. “Come beside me. You know how to be gentle, right?”

“Medical degree. Yeah.”

It was still an exercise in whispered tutorials. The infant Agnes complained about the transfer, and blinked at Neosemo.

“Hi there, little one,” he cooed. “I’m your big brother.”

Agnes frowned at him, then set up a howl. Much to the amusement of all around her.

“She’ll get used to you,” promised Agatha. “That, and she might be hungry again.”

“She has a stomach the size of a walnut,” said Angus, who had been studying this sort of thing. “She can’t help it.”

Neosemo was grinning. “It’s still a story I can taunt her with for decades to come,” he chuckled. “Long after I’m a famous and well-travelled Cleric.”

Of course he would. There was no such thing as a sibling who didn’t have ammunition against their brothers and sisters.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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This week’s big bad was preying on wealthy newlyweds, hijacking wedding jewellery and any other valuables. When they weren’t kidnapping the most affluent member of the pair for ransom.

There were suspicions of Dark Magic happening to those who didn’t earn the ransom. They were certainly never seen again. Not alive, for sure.

This band had a type. They liked the younger couples, and the wealthier, the better. Therefore, the Bureau of Benevolence picked Angus and Agatha as the ideal team to be bait.

Agatha looked splendid - better than splendid - in the dress they had found for her. Angus rather fancied he looked spectacular in the suit he wore. Their luggage was loaded with the right kind of jewellery and they booked the most expensive Honeymoon Suite. They talked loudly of expensive plans as part of a Faerun-wide tour, as they checked in.

It was easy to act like he was ridiculously in love with Agatha, since he was. It was fun to kiss and be goopy in each other’s general direction without any comments from the peanut gallery - otherwise known as Tres Horny Boys.

The suite was amazing. Room service and wine and laughter together as they watched Fantasy Pay-Per-View together in bed.

It was the fifteenth kiss that did it for him. Angus made a decision.

“I can’t wait to do something like this for real,” he said.

“Theft and potential murder aren’t real enough for you?” she teased.

He had to laugh. “I mean I’d love it if you’d marry me, Agatha Tremaine.” He circled the fake engagement ring around on her finger. “I’ll get you a real one as soon as we’re done here. First thing.”

“Gosh, this is so sudden,” she said, quizzaciously sarcastic. “Nothing at all like the other times.”

“You didn’t say ‘no’,” he said. “You always said stuff like, ‘really. Now?’ and didn’t give me an answer.”

She leaned up on her elbow. “I’m going to have to answer you or keep facing this question, aren’t I?”

“That would be ideal,” he purred.

She kissed him. “Fine. Yes. I’d love to make our partnership official.” They sealed the deal with an extensive make-out session. Which was, unfortunately, interrupted by the hotel staff who were the theft/kidnapping ring.

Those idiots were immediately and instantly trounced.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 8]

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Once again, Taako got dragged back to the Bureau offices feet first. Unconscious, and apparently unmarked this time. No-one had gone after the team Glass Cannon with anything physically damaging. Though that was not always a good thing.

Listen, Agnes, Taako had said during one of their training sessions. You can hit a wizard with the hit point drains and be wasting your time if the team have a competent healer. If you really want to harm a wizard, go after their noggin.

Angus worried. Magnus and Merle had no idea what Taako got hit with. Apparently, he touched one of the stones whilst announcing that they didn’t need Angus to solve the puzzle. Then he went down like a sack of bricks.

According to the Bureau Clerics, he wasn’t in any physical danger. Someone had messed with his dome, but that was all they could tell. He would wake up when it ran its course, and it was too late for Counterspell to be effective. They just had to ride this one out. 

It was a very stressful hour for Angus. Wondering exactly what Taako had lost, or how permanent it could be. Nevertheless, he was ‘just resting his eyes’ when the fabulous flipwizard opened his.

“Hey, pumpkin. I’m sure I told the innkeep not to let in visitors. Anxious to see the next show? Or are you hoping to get ahead of the autograph queue?”

“Show?” echoed Angus.

“My show, of course. Why else would you be here?” He took in his surroundings. “This isn’t the Blue Lion Inn…”

Angus decided to get the facts out there. “Sir, you had an accident. Something messed with your brain and… do you know where you are, sir?”

“Uuuhhhhh… some kind’a healing hospice? The decor’s terrible so it has to be an institution. I didn’t do anything… awful did I? Wait. Did I steal you at some point? Is that why you’re here?”

“No, sir, I’m a student of yours. And a co-worker.”

Laughter. “Like I’d work with a literal child. Where’s Saze? He can clear this up. I’m sure we’ll all laugh at this later but I can’t–” he made to get up and realised that he was in a shitty hospital gown and little else. “–think… of… when.”

“Sazed isn’t here, sir.” Angus pressed the call button. Trying not to flinch at every time Taako used his Polite To Strangers Smile on him. One of Angus’ other lessons was faking geniality when the mood was just not there. He knew all the signs of a smiling mask.

Taako was acting at being friendly. Putting on a show for the audience who was currently Angus. He could see it in his mentor’s eyes. Taako didn’t have a single shit to give about Angus.

That… stung.

Taako had a kind of casual, it’s-a-tough-world cruelty, but it was edged with a peculiar form of caring that was unique. It was like he could sense right when Angus was about to crumble and held him up for that one last eureka moment that made all the roughness beforehand worth it. Or when Angus was just about to fall off the mental edge and held him safe by the metaphorical belt loops.

Here and now, he was being casually nice. The kind of niceness that had the traditional Taako subtext of, I don’t expect to ever see you again so it doesn’t really matter what I say or do; but since my income depends on repeat business, I’m deigning to be nice to you. Which was kind of a lot to pack into a telegenically gentle smile and the posture of a stage actor.

“Did you check the supplies cart? He’s taken to lurking in there. I should probably hurry and get my clothes back, it’s thirty-clove garlic chicken tonight.”

Oh. Oh shit. Oh no. He was… he was back into the day before the fateful last show of Sizzle it Up! With Taako. “No sir. Your… your supplies cart isn’t here, either.”

Genuine worry and concern. “When you said ‘accident’…”

Make it quick. Like ripping off a self-adhesive medical strip. “Sir, your show ended seven years ago in Glamour Springs when forty people died.” Angus braced himself as his mentor’s mismatched eyes were the only things that showed his inner pain. “Sazed put arsenic into your forty-clove garlic chicken, sir. When he confessed just last year, he said he wanted to just make you sick, but the forty deaths could have been spun in his favour. He’s serving a life sentence in Hell’s Maw Prison, sir.”

If there was a worse moment for Lup to burst into the room, it was right at this second, when Taako’s world was falling into ash all over again. Did he remember his sister? How fragmented were his memories, right now?

Angus said, “Please be careful, ma’am,” but didn’t get much further.

Taako was looking dizzy. Confounded. He was hit with a confusion curse. His memories were intact, but they were jumbled. Messed up. Possibly made worse by the voidfish’s influence and then the removal of their influence on the Day of Story and Song.

“You,” said Taako. Tears fell down his face. “You left me.”

Lup showed remarkable restraint and adaptivity. “Didn’t mean to be gone so long,” she said. “I got… trapped. Then I got out. I had to come find you.” All accurate statements, but not the complete chain of cause and effect. She noticed Angus and said, “You okay, kiddo?”

“I can be okay,” he managed.

Taako was fighting a vortex of dizziness. “Did… Did I adopt him or something?”

“Close enough,” said Lup. “He lives with you and–”

“You also got married,” said Angus.

“To… Sazed?” Taako wondered.

Angus said it along with Lup. The exact words. “What? No! Fuck him…”

Taako was looking at his hands. He found the wedding band, which was silver and set with sapphires. “Married,” he said. “With a kid.”

Another figure entered the room. A rushed and flustered Kravitz.

“Well, hell-o, stranger,” Taako cooed. “I’d tell you to sit by my side, but I’m married, apparently. Pity. You’re exactly my type, there, handsome.”

Kravitz ran the entire gamut of possible emotions in less than a second. He finally said, “Dove… you married me.” To prove it, he showed his left hand, and the gold ring set with dark aquamarine gemstones.

Taako appraised the sparkle. “Damn. Lucky you, huh?”

It was too much. Taako had lost everything all over again, with no idea how good his life was these days. He didn’t know what he’d gained but, thankfully, had a shaky grasp on what he’d lost in the time he thought he was still in. All that progress towards becoming a decent intelligent being… gone.

All those times that Taako had lovingly taunted Angus for accidentally calling him ‘dad’. Taako didn’t remember them. Taako didn’t remember the real friends he’d made, the love he’d found. The love he’d learned to share. Gone.

Including all the love he’d chosen to share with Angus.

He didn’t know he was crying until Taako started cooing insincerely.

“Aaaw. Aaaw. It’s gonna be okay, pumpkin. It ain’t all bad, is it? It ain’t all bad…”

“…feels like it,” Angus managed.

Taako said, “Need a hug?”

Angus fell into his arms. Wishing he could somehow use that hug to heal Taako right there and then.

“He really adopted me, huh?” said Taako.

“Yeah, pretty much,” said Lup. “None of us can figure out why he loves you.”

Angus let Taako hold him and pet his hair. Wishing the displayed affection was real.

“I gotta work out how to get my me back,” decided Taako. “Don’t fret, little man. We’re gonna figure shit out. My sister’s the smartest geek in any room.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 5]

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[AN: I did promise that these would be PG, so all the sexytimes will be faded-to-black]

It was late, and the snow was all around, blanketing the landscape in white. Well. Except for the tracks where the residents of the farmhouse and nearby village had tamped snow into the moulds that gave Sellsnow Farm its old name.

The hour was late, but that was because the family was up in the upper chambers to watch the Sheepsford fireworks display. The nearby Dwarves and Gnomes competed with the local Humans in putting on the brightest and most impressive fireworks display to ring in the new year.

Kravitz kept by Taako’s side, and Barry was by Lup’s. The twins held hands as they sat on the viewing platform, underneath a huge amount of insulating layers and thick, padded quilts that they shared with their spouses.

Nobody mentioned how ridiculous the Elves looked in their winter ear socks. Elves already knew, they just pretended that they weren’t. Looking ridiculous and pretending they didn’t was way better than -say- freezing their ears off.

The first pops of the opening salvos began ten minutes before midnight, filling the sky with starbursts. Kravitz gasped as the bursts of bright colour reached their current elevation.

“You were right, Dove,” he said, “Better than front row seats.”

Taako was purring as he pulled Kravitz closer under the blankets. “Nice,” he said, and, “Mate.”

Uh oh…

Lup and Barry were deep into it. Not just necking but jawing and shouldering as well.

Kravitz couldn’t pay attention to them. He had a gorgeous Elf in his face. Sliding too-warm hands into Kravitz’s clothes, smooching at his neck and getting further and further into his space.

Not that he wanted to complain…

Too much.

Kravitz leaned into it and started kissing him back.

*

New year’s day is traditionally greeted as late as possible, often with hushed voices of regret. This was no different for the twins.

“Mmmnnnnggghhh… Ow.”

“Fuck, it’s freezing…”

A heap of blankets and winter clothing stirred, an one golden head peeked out. “Shit. It’s dawn,” said Lup.

“Whose ass is that?” mumbled Kravitz.

“Depends,” said Barry, “Whose hand is that?”

“…ow,” whimpered Taako. “…’d we miss New Years?”

Kravitz’s head emerged from the pile. “’S dawn,” he mumbled. “Guess we did.”

“Had fun anyway, right?” Lup yawned and stretched, then yelped and burrowed back into the warmth of her husband.

Somewhere in the middle of the pile, Barry said, “Absolutely, babe.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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As part of procedure, to be certain of Ella’s health, they took a drop of her blood and ran it through every scrying test they could. That was how they found out that she had a genetic family as well as an adopted one.

Bad news: Luume’irma adoptions are lifelong.

A compromise had to be reached. Which was why the core elements of the family were gathered in a rather large meeting room. ‘Core elements’ in this case meant the following: genetic parents, siblings of the genetic parents, and genetic grandparents of the child. In echo to this were Angus and Agatha, Taako, Lup, Kravitz and Barry. It was not an even match, even with Ango’s kids playing quietly in a corner.

Gnomes may be small, but their families were huge.

Ella looked normal sized in her birth mother’s arms, and had little to contribute to the proceedings. First, because she was a literal baby, and second, because she was fast asleep.

“Don’t get us wrong,” said the proud father of Ella. “It’s a good thing that you rescued her, it’s just… She’s ours.”

“My daughter-in-law is biologically compelled to be certain of Ella’s health and wellbeing,” said Taako. “It’s nobody’s fault that this happened. I’m just asking… can we… maybe share?”

“I would guard her with my life,” said Agatha in all seriousness.

“We have a Mountain Ygdrassi for a home,” said Angus. “There’s more than enough room for your entire burrow. In the mountain, in the walls, in the roots… Your whole clan could move in and little would change.”

“You’re suggesting,” said the Grandmother, “That we uproot an entire burrow of four hundred and seventy-three Gnomes,”

“Four hundred and seventy-four,” corrected Ella’s mother. “We got her back.”

“The entire family,” said the Grandmother, “and move into an Elf tree that’s likely thousands of years old.”

“There’s loads of room,” said Lup. “Some of us have cohabited with a Gnome before. We can help… ease the adjustment process.”

“Plus I always cook way too much food,” added Taako. “The old place needs more people like fish need water.”

The Gnomish siblings conferred. The murmuring went on for an extended time, but the repeated argument among many was, “Well, it’d be better than letting them come to us.”

That was the one that finally won the day.

“Taaco family… you have gained yourself a clan of Strongburrows.”

Agatha said, “Strongburrow family… you have gained yourself some Taacos.”

It would take months, some magic, and an over-use of Garyl to move four hundred and seventy-five Gnomes (another one was born during the move) into the farmhouse, but it was worth it. The labyrinthine complex of halls, rooms, tunnels and caverns hadn’t sounded so alive in half a millennium.

It wasn’t a smooth transition. Elves, half-elves, Humans and the technically undead had to get used to the bustle of an entire clan of Gnomes. The Gnomes, in turn, had to get used to the sometimes peculiar habits of Elves. It wasn’t easy, but then again, life never was.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 5]

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Angus had no idea how it happened, but he woke up in the middle of some scrubby forest with no idea where he was or how to get home. He was in a very comfy sleeping bag and Papa was lounging nearby.

“Morning, pumpkin,” he cooed. “It’s survival lesson time.”

He sat up. There was no sign of any other camping gear. “What?” he mumbled. “What’s going on?”

“Every child should learn how to make it if the worst happens. Honestly, with all the folderol with adoption, I was kind’a scared to start. Still am, tee bee haitch, but I can’t let any kid of mine wander this wild world without at least a few basics.”

Angus rubbed his eyes. “Really?”

“We survived a raid on my village and then a raid on the survivors’ caravan, sweetie. If we hadn’t had lessons like this, we would have died at age twelve. Lucky for you we didn’t. Someday, all this will be lucky for someone else.”

Well. Put it like that way. Papa knew for certain that life had ways of throwing mud at you at the worst possible time. Therefore, he paid attention. There were worse things in life than being in a shitty orphanage. “What’s lesson one, Papa?”

“Priorities,” was the answer. “Food, water, shelter. What do you look for first?”

It was a day of lessons. Those very priorities were in the order of water, shelter, then food. Followed by a near encyclopaedic knowledge of which wild foods were edible more than once. As the sun began to dip down in the sky, Papa showed him the Shelter part of the survival trinity. How to build a cote.

“If you can’t find an abandoned badger burrow or a cave, building a cote is your next best thing. These are temporary shelters, here, so you don’t wanna be too elaborate. Start with a tree where you can move some branches around. Make it tricky for any predators.”

It was weaving, in a way. Weaving the living branches into a sort of skeleton for any uprooted saplings or long reeds or tall grasses they managed to find. The real trick was thinning out the brush without picking an area clean. That sort of thing would lead the intelligent predators to realise that someone was nearby.

The best cote, of course, was one that was tricky to get into. If it was tricky for the Elf - or half-elf - who made it, then it would be even trickier for anyone out after them. The green brush used to make it would be near perfect camouflage in a dense enough tree, especially if it was high up in the canopy.

Papa helped him make a cote just big enough for two, and showed him how to make a door to seal it off. By that time, it was well past dark, and their use of magic added tiny lights to the interior.

For a structure made of bent branches, saplings, and grass, it was astonishingly comfortable. Angus slid into a meditative trance knowing that his Papa was watching over him.

Lesson two, the next morning, was learning how to find civilisation. That was how Angus learned that their impromptu camp site was an extensive vacant lot within half a days’ walk of the farmhouse.

Where Dad was waiting with a celebratory feast, Aunt Lup and Uncle Barry.

“No probs, dingus?” Aunt Lup shouted.

“Of course not, goofus,” Papa shouted back. “He’s a fucking genius.”

It had never occurred to Angus that Papa could have possibly been worried. Not until that moment. The concept was re-enforced when Aunt Lup gave Papa a noogie and said, “I told you he’d be fine.”

Dad had been worried, too. Angus could tell by the way Dad swept him up and covered him in kisses and said how proud he was. They’d both been worried about the absolute worst that could happen. Neither of them said so, but Angus could tell.

They’d be less worried, next time. With every lesson, there would be less and less to worry about.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 6]

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The whole gang was invited to the party. That meant snuggle-buddies were included, and some baby-mommas came too because -hey- free food. The new family seemed to just roll with it and rent a hall, throwing the doors open to anyone who was hungry.

Neosemo hadn’t been born yet, when the Story and Song flooded the world, but he’d seen enough penny plays. He knew enough to know that the Birds were formidable, loaded, and dangerous to rile.

The penny players always picked skinny actors to play the Twins, and put shining yellow wigs on with the red robes. Therefore, Neosemo didn’t expect the upholstered forms nor the bright colours they wore. Yet, they were unmistakable.

Hair like gold. Mismatched eyes of amber and green. A casual disregard for how many spell slots they had was a definite giveaway.

Neosemo was nervous about approaching them. They should have been in red robes. They should have been something more than everyone else. Yet, there they were. Laughing and joking and bustling about with trestle tables and foodstuffs. Taako from TV, who had faced down -and then married- the Grim Reaper had no business wearing a Kiss the Cook apron nor cracking what had to be a terribly filthy joke.

“…didn’t do that when I tried it,” was the punchline. Several people around the immediate area were turning red. One was laughing so hard that he was drooling.

Neosemo loaded up a plate with offerings that were already crowding the table, licking sauce off his fingers.

Taako - it had to be Taako. He was the one with the apron and the slightly duller hair than his sister. Taako turned and gasped. “Angus Taacoson McDonald… how dare you. You can’t even wait to make your own, you had to adopt?”

Neosemo stuffed his face before anyone could chuck him out.

“You’re the one throwing the family welcome party, Papa,” said Professor McDonald. “Also - you know how Uncle Irma can change a life.”

“More than one,” said Taako. “Teenaged grand-baby. I’m barely two hundred! I’m too young to be the grandfather of a teenager. I’m old before my time! Old before my time…” He struck a pose. Three poses. Languishing for want of an audience.

“You still don’t look a day over a hundred and sixty to me,” said a dark-hued man in dark-hued clothes with silver ornaments in his hair. That had to be Kravitz.

“Flirt,” chided Taako. He put down a dish of things that Neosemo wasn’t able to identify. “Okay. You’re new to the family, kiddo. This kind of thing is normal for us. C’mere. Come to Grampa Taako. Gods, I can’t believe I just said that…”

Neosemo shuffled nervously closer to one of the most powerful wizards in the twelve planes. He was aware that he had his mouth full, and sauce dribbling down his chin, and one hand full of plate, and the other filthy with sauce and food.

He fully expected this literal living legend to tear him down atom by atom. Which was why it was such a surprise to have Taako from TV sweep him up in his arms. “Welcome to the family, kiddo! You and your friends might just give me a challenge for a change.”

Professor McDonald had wet wipes. So did Taako. They both had spare utensils for Neosemo to use. They both introduced him to more family than he could remember, let alone think plausible.

The full-blood Orc who proclaimed herself to be his Aunty Killian, wrapped him up in a bone-crushing hug and told him that she could help him build up his muscles if he ever got tired of living like a wimpy, weedy Elf.

The human with the greying sideburns offered him a dog, and told him that he was Uncle Magnus.

Instant family. Just add Starblaster.

The doughy human with the horn rim spectacles and the perpetual blue jeans had to be the Barry Bluejeans of legend. He sort of sat beside Neosemo and said, “You don’t have to be what anyone else wants you to be. We can all help you in whatever you want, wherever you want to go. Education, work, a career somewhere… we got your back. Just… remember. You gotta be true to yourself or your dreams will never come true.”

He had heard people making plans for him before. People wanting to help him by getting his tusks removed. People wanting to help him by putting him into some institution designed to pump out perfect, cookie-cutter kids. People wanting to help him be what he wasn’t.

These people were just giving him offers. If you want to… not We want you to… Just one of the many differences that made the Starblaster family what it was. And better - they were just as welcoming to Neosemo’s street family. Letting them know that there were plenty of rooms in the farmhouse, if they wanted to help out, they could live there.

Angus caught up with him as the party was winding down to people lounging around with drinks in hand. “You look like you’re thinking some deep thoughts, there.”

“Old Maisy used to look after a bunch of kids when I was little. She was always coming up with these weird old sayings,” he said. “She said, home is where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

“Interesting choice of wise words,” allowed Angus.

“I was just thinking… Home is where they welcome you in, whether they have to or not.” He looked out over the motley crew, where Tuff Jari was learning how to ride a deer under the guidance of two Elves and a guy who looked like he’d never exercised in his life. “This feels like it’s gonna be a great home.”

[TAZ prompts remaining: 8]

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Twelve years, give or take. All alone. Without any real senses. Without touch. Without feeling. Twelve years of being emotions and memory and trapped in a curtained hell. Air burned her lungs when she took her first breath in a decade. Weight pulled her down. She was heavy. The slimy goo was heavy. The robe was heavy and the warmth of it was as unfamiliar as the cold of the goo.

Barry had done this time and time again during the time she was trapped. Tirelessly swapping from lich to body and taking risk after risk to try and find her. He was used to this. More or less. He knew that she didn’t need or want a hand grasping her arm to help her up. He knew that that would be too much on skin that was technically mere minutes old.

He had a mirror so she could see that she’d come out right. With the right junk and all. That had been a major worry for her, while her body had been growing. Even though she could see the progress, it had still been a big terror.

She defused that anxiety with humour. “Man, I forgot how good I look.”

Barry smiled, as he always smiled. So dopey in love with her that it almost oozed from every pore.

“I’m about to smooch your fucking brains out, babe.” Of all the things she missed most, two were at the top of her list. Barry’s kisses and cuddle-puddles with her twin brother. Taako was too much into a freak-out to watch her emerge in the flesh and had elected to stay at the moon base, wrapped around his boyfriend for comfort.

Barry felt so warm against her. His hands were so rough - when had that happened? No. It wasn’t him. It was her. Skin. Organs. Even her hair was brand new. Minutes old. She had a newborn’s sensitivity to the world in an adult body that came replete with a lifetime’s worth of scars.

She had to remind herself that Barry’s skin wasn’t rough. It was her hands that were new. That the touch she had craved wasn’t the sensory explosion that she felt it as. That she didn’t need to be afraid of it.

Barry held her close as she hyperventilated, so very gently. “You can cry,” he whispered. “It’s okay. I cried the first time, too.”

She instantly had the mental image of the man she’d loved -discreetly and not so discreetly- for a hundred years, coming out of a tank like that, and onto a rough floor. All alone, with few memories, and nobody to help him. That was all she needed to tip herself over the edge.

She had spent decades of her life hiding her feelings. Putting up a wall between herself and beings who could hurt her or her brother. All she needed was permission from one of the few she could trust completely, and the concept that he had been hurt.

Lup cried like a child. Let Barry take her to a soft cot full of fluffy pillows and blankets and each other. Let herself cling and howl until the weariness of it took her down into lassitude. Let herself be looked after. Barry wiping away at tears and snot and drool. Barry gently kissing her, caressing her. Comforting her. Let herself run dry. Let herself sigh.

She finally said, “Do I have to start with baby food?”

Barry laughed. “Comfort food,” he said. “The easy stuff. You can work your way back up to wow-wow sauce.”

Breathing was okay, now. Touch was okay, now. Which was a good thing, because, “Taako’s gonna want to hug the stuffing out of me.”

“Don’t blame him,” said Barry. “I can take you there express if you want.”

She could stand, now. She could stand to stand without the feeling of the world pulling her down. Without the feeling of her clothes wanting to drag her through the centre of the globe. She could stand to feel bare earth on her feet. “I think I’m ready.”

She wasn’t ready.

Not for seeing Taako with his glamour off, red-eyed from crying and frizzy-haired from worrying. Not for seeing him so vulnerable with her own eyes. Not for hearing that little shriek of relief. Definitely not for the impact of a brother who had only recently realised what had been missing from his life for twelve horrible and long years.

Lup was definitely not prepared for that shuddering intake of his breath that meant that he was about to start bawling his eyes out. He had a death-grip cling to her. Just like she had to him. His scent was all she needed to know that she was home.

She said, “I missed you so much.”

Taako said, “I wish I had,” and then the tears fountained out of both of them.

They finished up kneeling and leaning into a huge Fantasy Beanbag, their spouses cuddled around them, and only the fairy lights to give their living room some shape.

Her voice trembled as she said, “That was more emotional than it had to be.”

Taako sniffled. “Got’cha a comfort food feast with add-your-own spices,” he offered. “I wanna watch you work your way up.”

“Sadist,” she laughed. “I’m gonna eat ‘till I creak and fall asleep with all of you around me.”

“Bold of you to assume we could let you go,” said Taako and Barry together.

Gods, it was good to be back in the flesh.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 9]

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