[Super huge thanks to @dualityandsuch for the lovely arts]
Life was good, working with a circus. Regular meals, so long as they didn’t mind doing the cooking. Cameraderie and companionship on a level only fellow villains could understand. The only downside was that villager people didn’t exactly trust carnie types and they trusted Elven carnie types even less.
Lulu and Koko were with a Sea Elf called La’ming Tonn, a ‘rescue’ from a far worse circus who didn’t know what kind of talent they’d had. She’d been with Mongomery’s Amazing Circus for two years and had grown into her confidence like kudzu into a neglected lot. Gossip had it that she was saving her spare shekels to get a Restoration spell or five and regain the losses caused by having her ears docked by her previous employer.
On the plus side, it meant she didn’t have to work very hard on Disguise Self. Just a simple change of her natural blue skin tone for a more Human-acceptable brownish beige, and making sure her hair or scarf covered the obvious difference between herself and the humanmen around them. On the minus side…
She, and some other Elves in the troupe could easily tell that Lulu and Koko were minors and would not let them out into the towns for any sort of shenanigans.
The other minus side was having to drag along Borstok, one of the circus roustabouts, to stand around and Be Human so that the local City Watch wouldn’t drag them off for Shopping While Elven.
The Xenophobia Wars may have ended, but the attitude that started them was alive and well and threatening to start another round.
La’ming could pass as Human. The twins could not. They were there to hand out flyers to passers-by and otherwise look like respectable Elven citizens who were just passing through. They were not to pick pockets, Koko, set things on fire, Lulu, or try on any hustles or scams, both of you. They were also there to be certain La’ming didn’t flirt with any married people of any given gender.
It had all been going so good, talking hat designs with the local milliner, a half-Elf of Moon Elf origins called Mak’arune. The twins had been peering through the window at some of the Fascinators when the Watch turned up.
“Good morrow, madames and sir,” said the spokesman. “It is my duty to inform you Elves that assemblies of three or more peoples are unlawful by decree of the Duke of Westingstoke under the Riot Act of the Year of the Concussed Whelk[1].”
Koko was the first to whirl in alarm. “Where the fuck is Borstok?”
“Any further disruptive language will be treated as Public Indecency.”
The twins clapped their hands over each other’s mouths. And then La’ming really put her foot in it. She primped her vibrantly red hair and said, “Hello, there handsome. I’m pretty certain there’s been a misunderstanding. Perhaps I can clear some air?” She showed them her docked ears. Purely by accident, of course, but they could see that she wasn’t Human.
The official charge was Unlawful Assembly, but three out of four Elven folk knew that they’d been arrested for Shopping While Elven. The worst part was that they’d dispersed La’ming’s Disguise Self and revealed her blue skin to the world. Therefore adding a charge of minor fraud to the sheet.
They had been in the Ranratton City Watch Cell for half an hour and Mak’arune had yet to stop her wailing hysteria.
Lulu was propping up the wall. Koko was sitting on the single bunk and holding his head up while he watched Mak’arune pace and cry. La’ming was evaluating the cell like a professional. “New straw mattress. Decent bed frame construction. Clean cell. No rats. Maybe four tin cups out of a potential six.”
“Five silver says she faints before she stops crying,” muttered Lulu.
Koko sat up a little from his huddle. “You even got five silver?”
“Monty gave it to us for shopping,” said Lulu. “Get ourselves a little treat.”
“Well I ain’t got five silver.”
“Loan it to you.”
Koko went back to his huddle, only moving his eyes as he watched Mak’arune wail, flail, and pace along the wall and back.
“I am going,” said Koko at length, “to fucking stew Borstok.”
“Hush-hush,” said La’ming. “They can still charge you with offensive language.”
Koko swapped to Us and cussed up a storm. They couldn’t get him for cussing if they didn’t know he was cussing. Only Lulu could understand what he was saying and was reacting more like he was telling a joke that turning the air blue with invective.
Four hours of utter boredom later, Montgomery Pithon, owner of the circus and actual Naga. They could tell he was arriving by the way the City Watch looked incredibly alarmed and at least one of them ran for the weapons lock-up.
Lulu could recognise the voices of his Ringmaster, Barstock, and two other Humanmen from the crew. Vellos and Brinn. Monty had brought out the big guns. Or rather, the biggest, most muscular Humanmen he had on hand to make an impressive show of things.
As if a large, black and red Naga wasn’t impressive enough.
Koko stood and switched back to Common. “Monty’s here.”
Lulu leaped away from the wall and clung to the bars. “Monty! Monty, we didn’t do anything!”
Mak’arune turned towards the bars, took a great, big, shuddering gasp… and fainted dead away.
La’ming lunged off the bed and caught her before she could hurt herself.
“MONTY!”
“MONTY!”
There he was. The man himself. If you could call a Naga who could stand at seven feet tall a ‘man’. He worked out, so his arms and chest carried impressive muscles. All under a pseudomilitary ringmaster’s jacket. What he was not wearing was his top hat, because that was resting on top of Koko’s head.
“I see you’ve been looking after my hat,” said Montgomery, retrieving it through the bars.
“I was gonna get my own, but we got arrested for doing nothing,” Koko complained.
Montgomery noticed Mak’arune. “Who’s the unfortunate maiden on the floor?”
“You know La’ming, boss,” cheered Lulu.
La’ming said, “This was supposed to be our milliner. Mak’arune. Our entire business day is shot to heck.” She patted Mak’arune at her face. “Come, love. Wakey wakey, now. It’s only our boss…”
Mak’arune whimpered and clung to La’ming.
Lulu elbowed Koko, and muttered, “I ship it,” in Us.
Montgomery glared at her. He didn’t understood their twin tongue, but automatically assumed they were swearing. “Quite,” he iced. “I trust my party will be allowed to purchase some hats from your excellent milliner, Lady Mak’arune?”
The nervous Watch, realising that their harassment had turned into a parade, nervously nodded and let them go.
They’d have to do at least one more performance to sell the tickets to refill the circus’ Bail Fund.
[1] Borrowed liberally from Australian gold rush history where the Riot Act prevented groups of three or more persons and declared them Unlawful Assembly. Fun times.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 10]
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