Tumbl Into TAZ - Chapter 100 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]

Final story. Final Pam. Kind’a fitting, I think.

This is not the end of my prompted ficlets. Just the end of this collection of them. New story, and new collection, tomorrow!

This had to be one of the weirdest cycles they had ever had the misfortune to live in. There were semi-intelligent creatures, but they all looked like weird conglomerations of lumps with random features attached.

Worse, communication was nearly impossible. They could scavenge fruits and hunt meat, but getting along with the natives was… weird.

“This lot,” Taako threw up an illusion of a blobby pink thing with too much in the way of lips and arms improbably thrown onto their head, “are called Jaa’m. Don’t ask why. This whole system was made by some truly malevolent creator.”

“They only do applesauce,” said Lup. “And you gotta dance to get it. Like… their dance? Which is so lame that even Barold would be embarrassed to do it.”

“…hey,” objected Barry.

“It’s true, Barold,” said Taako. “This is beyond mortifying.”

“Did you get the applesauce?” demanded Davenport.

Lup started unloading bags of it. Actual bags. There were no glass jars, nor bottles, nor anything that would make sense to put applesauce in. Just. Bags. Bags for the applesauce that their Captain craved.

Davenport opened a bag and just dug in there with a spoon. “Ho yeah… that’s the stuff.”

“This… this is the nightmare scenario,” mumbled Lucretia.

“So…” said Magnus, valiantly ignoring Cap’n’port and his weird cycle-specific addiction. “Any signs of intelligent life? Or of the Light?”

“Trust me broceph,” said Taako, “I think this reality might be better off for us not finding it.”

For once, Lup was silent about pulling the trigger on an entire civilisation. She was having doubts as to whether this one counted.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 7]

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