Want to read a book with possibly the most ridiculous title created by the minds of man?

Want to read about life in the post-zombie-apocalypse as seen by a previously entitled white boy who believes he’s in his own movie?

Want to read about how he’s almost completely useless in the final battle?

Want to read about a post-zombie-apocalypse survival situation that includes the disabled and LGBT?

Want to read a book that demolishes the established narratives in every hollywood zombie situation ever dreamed?

Welp. I got you covered.

Want it in a physical book? Get it here!

Still love ebooks? I got’cha, pal.

If you want the plain text file, you have to purchase it via Smashwords. Visually impaired folks can use their web reader apps to peruse a sample if they want to try before they buy.

This author is edging closer and closer to the $3000 they need to replacing their dying computer. You too can help by buying this book!

You can also elect to support this artist by signing up to sponsor them via Patreon! For as little as a dollar a month, you can gain access to all sorts of unpublished works. Including music attempts and cover artwork in progress (coming soon).

Finally and at last, this book is fixed and ready for eager customers!

You can own a physical copy from Lulu!

You can own an eBook copy from Smashwords!

You can give me money so I can afford to make an audiobook at $225USD/hour!

Buy a copy for your friend! Buy a copy to leave in hotel rooms! Buy a copy to leave at airports! Just give me some goldang money!

Dear Ppl who tried to get an e-copy of Kung Fu Zombies

I did a very derpy thing and gave it the wrong ISBN. Since there’s no way to reassign an ISBN on Smashwords, I had to delete and republish Kung Fu Zombies.

If your copy is effected (and you paid for it) get in touch with me and I can arrange for a replacement.

Since that’s only one person, this shouldn’t hurt my income too hard.

Thanks for putting up with me <3

Lookie what came in the mail!

Just a few minor changes and all will be good.

Get the book that sounds like the worst idea anyone ever had short of “Sharknado”! It’s available in PAPERBACK!

Read it anywhere! Read it off the grid! Take it on airplanes! Use it to prop up that wonky table leg! Turn it into Papier Maché! There’s thousands of uses for this book!

Yours for only $34.99 (without tax) from Lulu!

Please buy it, I have kids to feed.

IT’S ALIVE!

Finally, after absolute ages of procrastination, and an entire YEAR of trying to flog it to publishers, you can finally own a copy of Kung Fu Zombies.

Just mosey on over to: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/KFZ and get your physical copy now.

Or wait a mo and see when I get it up on Smashwords for a much cheaper e-copy. Which might take some significant time.

When I am done with editing Beauties and the Beastly, I shall also be putting it up on both Lulu and Smashwords.

You can all do me a favour and give some reviews when you’ve read it. And stars, of course.

HALP!

Dear beta readers [this means you] I really desperately need more feedback from you about Kung Fu Zombies. 

This means you, @weirdlet, @callmegallifreya, and @shkspr1048 - if you can’t find your copy, I can send another one. Just..

Get. Back. To me.

If you couldn’t read further, I need to know why. If you couldn’t read it at all, I need that too. I need at least three POV’s on this thing and I’m stuck at two.

Calling all beta-readers (this means you)

I only have ONE beta-reader’s opinions and suggestions back to me.

The sooner you get back to me, the sooner I can polish this firkin novel. The sooner it’s polished, the sooner I can flick it at agents and publishers and the sooner (I sincerely hope) it can be out on bookstores near you.

I need you all to get back to me. Even if you couldn’t keep reading - try to tell me where the point was and why. I’ll try to fix that.

This book needs YOUR help.

Desperately.

Needs.

Your help.

Dear Beta Readers

I now have sendable versions of mobi and PDF variants of Kung Fu Zombies.

Also the new version of epub is “prettier”.

If you want, please get into contact with me. Otherwise I will assume you’re fine with the shitty epub you already have

Next book underway!

I try to wait a week after writing my last book to start on the next one, but… I surrendered to the temptation. And just finished the first thousand words.

Why?

Because my next book is called Kung Fu Zombies, that’s why.

In my next eight months, I shall be looking intensely at Zombie Tropes, Kung Fu Tropes, and Romance Tropes and gleefully destroying as many of them as I can inside of 120 000 words.

I already have lined up:

• no indication of love interest’s reciprocal interest until the sudden smooch-reveal in the middle of the movie
• zombies are walking corpses
• training montage of awesome
• three guys and a token girl
• token sassy POC
• exploding cars
• REM’s End of the World must play
• only the ‘proper’ people survive [aka: the disabled, the queer and the POC get it before any white cismen do]
• technomage asians
• foreign mysticism is better
• the armed forces save our central band of heroes 
• the sole survivors are the hero, his love interest, a kid and a dog
• deus ex machina at the end

If you - yes you - have any hated tropes that fit the theme of the book [and I bet you can guess the theme of the book] feel free to use that ask button to send me the trope of your nightmares. I will then tell you if it’s on or going on my little list.