Challenge #02528-F338: Meeting Bip and Bop
A human is always highly protective of a large front pocket of his shirt. He makes sure, when he puts on his skins, always clear ones never opaque, or his armor, that there’s a space there, rather inefficient, but it’s when a tiny head pokes out that people realize, he has a pet there. A sweet little sugar-glider that is his constant companion. Sure they’re almost as fragile as a level 4 Havenworlder, but he loves his little pet very much. He has been raising these sweet earth-creatures since he was a child, and has never travelled without one in his pocket. – DaniAndShali
Humans are strange. Most Galactics know this, but every now and again, they find the statistical outlier on the normal curve that just serves to remind them of the very strong stereotype. Such as Human Li. When not on duty, when ‘just bumming about’ the station secure zone, they wore a shirt with a pocket that they guarded with their lives. They were careful of it and nearly ferociously protective of it.
Worn over Ships’ Skins, the garment was almost superfluous, and some wondered if the Human Li was somehow uncomfortable in Standard Mean Temperature[1]. As observations continued, Human Li’s co-workers started to wonder if their Human had something toxic or dangerous in their pocket. So a small committee of concerned peoples gathered to figure out who would get to ask the Human a dangerous question.
The eventual loser of the competition carefully approached as the Human was gently manipulating an eyedropper to the mouth of their shirt pocket. “Human Li… we are all growing concerned with–” Grix paused as the pocket in question moved on its own. “–the pocket of the shirt you wear. You have been… alarmingly protective of it and we need to know… are you carrying toxic matter and if so, why?”
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Challenge #02512-F322: One Complex Thought Experiment in the Void
An empath and a sociopath trying to help each other interact with people. – Anon Guest
Here are two humans. Call them Abe and Bee. Abe cares too much about others and other’s feelings, to the point of neglecting their own. Bee doesn’t care about anyone but themself. They are both abnormal Humans. They are both trying to get back to civilisation as they know it with a group of strangers for a crew on their kludged vessel. They’re a rag-tag bunch of misfits in a bucket that was held together with spit and hope.
“Okay,” said Bee. “I acknowledge we need the rest of these people, but… do I really need to care about their emotional wellbeing?”
“For the thousandth time, yes,” said Abe. “Caring about them means that they will care about you. You want someone who’s got your back, right?”
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Challenge #02505-F315: Useful in a Pinch
A: how pure should the acid be?
B: doesn’t matter as long it be acidic
A: kk
then I proceeded to watch the human put their finger down their throat – Anon Guest
[AN: Content warning for vomiting]
Humans are great at improvising. Provided, of course, that you don’t mind the kind of improvisation that Humans are capable of. For example, do not lock them in an empty room with nothing but a screwdriver and a hammer. Don’t even think of locking them in a room with nothing. That’s even worse.
Zhyruk knew this, and was sure to look for any interesting playthings for the Ship’s Human, Zan. Today, though, that was not the problem. The problem was being stuck in a partially-collapsed old hulk left on a Trashworld. The main article blocking the way could, fortunately, be dissolved by acid.
“Can it be any acid, and does it matter how pure it is?” asked Human Zan. So far, they were doing the heavy lifting, and had picked up a number of objects that ze had said could be useful. Since ze had also figured out various means of carrying them, Zhyruk was not yet ready to complain.
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Challenge #02497-F307: Beginning to Look a Lot Like TERROR
A: oh god, oh fuck it’s happening again
B: what? What wrong?
A: not again, I’m not strong enough
B: for what?!
A: it’s coming, it’s coming
B: WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING
A: Christmas – Anon Guest
Some Humans are major league into their holidays. Often to the point that Station Regulations have to intervene in regards to what is on public display. Some are not very excited by their holidays, and some… despise them. Companion Huruk found this out whilst escorting Human Zae through one of the commerce districts.
All had been well. Human Zae seemed happy enough, even singing along with the music on the public system, and then a look of horror began to grow on her face. “Oh god. Oh flakk, it’s happening again…”
Companion Huruk was alarmed. If something could disturb a Human, it had to be serious business. Major-alert-level bad news. Ze made sure hir stunner was clear for drawing and fully charged. “What is it? Where is the trouble?”
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Challenge #02484-F294: Essential Briefing
A new security force is in training so they can be assigned to various stations. The subject of this particular lecture was the phenomena involving human Silly Seasons. What they were, how to recognize when one was about to happen, how to handle them, and most important, how to curtail the humans safely before the Silly Season got too far out of hand. – DaniAndShali
Given that this station has opened its airlocks to admit Humans, we at Administration are well aware of your concerns. We’re well aware of Humans’ unpredictability and the unique ur-festival known amongst their kind as Silly Season. Just as we are aware that one is impending. Humans get bored, no matter what their opportunities for enrichment are. The resultant tensions build up and result in a chaotic party-adjacent atmosphere that spreads like a virus until the Humans vent their pent-up tensions.
This… is Silly Season. The soundless video shows a chaotic group of Humans jumping and cavorting in a group. Some of them, judging strictly by the rhythm of their gyrations, were possibly singing and dancing. Many were just doing chaotic things. Most were laughing.
For the most part, these activities are harmless. Humans play pranks - practical jokes - on each other and any species they know can withstand the jape in question. They do understand that there are environmental and biota protection laws and the pranks will follow most of those legislations. Expect flour bombs- the video showed a thrown object exploding in white powder -water bombs- another missile, this time soaking the target on impact -and organic glitter or confetti bombs- the thrown object cascaded small items around the target. Here, the only lingering problem is clean-up. Fortunately, the Cleaners are attracted to this kind of nonsense.
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