Challenge #03059-H136: Reaching Out
[AN: That’s definitely Weird Al singing… Video shows a clip from an animated series called Milo Murphy’s Law in which a boiler turns into a rocket and propels a group seated on a toboggan through a series of unlikely locations]
The wreckage was what only Humans and other Deathworlders could class as “survivable”. Several things were going wrong in rapid succession. Rob didn’t even know it was Del until long after they came to a safe halt, miles from the crash site. He just helped hir up onto the plate of a hull piece and more or less fell on top of hir when something went bang.
There was no way to steer, no hope of directing their path anywhere. In fact, it was sheer luck that had them headed on a reverse vector to the stricken ship’s path through plant life, stone structures and, of course, soil. It was a minor miracle that they came to a slow halt after skipping like a stone across a lake.
Now that there was time to breathe, the both of them were doing so in access, sitting up and taking stock in all possible directions in case something else came off the wreck of the Cruise Ship Hesperus while they were still celebrating their survival. Only after they had moderate shelter from the still-raining debris did Rob noticed who he was with.
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(Source: peakd.com)
Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions
An instructor greets his new students in the class known as “Know Your Human” A class meant to prepare various individuals for the maddeningly wonderful work known as being a human’s companion.
It is well known that humans are insane, dangerous, and violent. And yet, they are also the most gentle, kind, thoughtful, and soothing species in the galaxy. You will find they are wild, yet tame, they are beyond stupid, yet terrifyingly brilliant, they brought their furry headaches known as cats, yet those animals turned out to be so valuable there’s not a single station without one. They’re as terrifying as a very large, very hungry, Oshit, as destructive as an exploding star, and yet they are the least terrifying and most creative species yet discovered.
For those studying humans, all of these facts are 100% true. There is not a single lie anywhere to be found. But, my students, don’t be fooled. This species, and this course, will test the limits of your endurance both physically and psychologically. However, in the end, after your training here, you will be able to better work with, and handle, the humans you are assigned as your companions. And, you will find, it will be the most rewarding, and the most heartbreaking, career you’ve ever had. – DaniAndShali
Humans are a contradiction. They can be, as they have said themselves, the smartest dumbasses in the universe. They can be the kindest, most protective aggressors known to intelligent life. They can also be the biggest, meanest bunch of softies to ever walk and talk at the same time. They can be both needlessly cruel and illogically compassionate depending entirely on the circumstances around them. They could be both the strongest and the weakest of all known cogniscents at the same time.
It was hard to remember any of that when meeting an actual Human for the first time. They were not much taller than Companion Thele, certainly not very much bulkier, even with their livesuit on. They looked… weird… but then all different lifeforms looked weird until one got used to them.
“You’re new at this, aren’t you?” said the Human. They had a remarkable grasp of GalStand for a barbarian just introduced to Galactic society. The instructor had said they were remarkable mimics, but this… This was another of their contradictions.
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Challenge #02709-G152: Fixes Any Problem
A: “You can’t be serious, we’re really going to be going all the way back to the port in nothing but… duct tape??”
H: “Sure! And we could even take the boat with us to use for later sails if we wanted to!”
Note - yes Sail boats have been made, beautifully so, out of duct tape. Here’s a video of my favorite team doing so, the Mythbusters! – Anon Guest
“Well, ductape and these lovely whippy canes,” said Human Jan. “Hold this one here for a sec’.” Since Human Jan had already employed both hands, both feet, and one knee to the extant construction, Frew had to assist.
What the Human held easily, Frew had to struggle with, using all of his strength. However, that strength lasted just long enough for Human Jan to quickly apply some more ductape to the resultant joint. It was the last join in the entire seemingly fragile frame, which looked like it was one good sneeze away from turning into a cage-turned-torture-device for Human Jan. Nevertheless, the ductape held. “This will remain stable?”
“Abso-tively. I’ve seen this done before. Heck. San Francisco has an annual ductape regata. It’s a heck of a thing to watch. Someone made a yellow ductape ducky, last year. That was hilarious.”
“You are not building a duck,” said Frew. Just to be certain. You never could tell with Humans.
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for a link to the rest of this story, and details on how to support this artist. Or visit peakd (dot) com (slash at) internutter for the stories at their freshest]