Help me out?

I have a story that appears in my anthology, One Leap Year of Instants, it is story #149, entitled, Expect the Unexpected.

It exists. I wrote it. I know I wrote it… but it’s apparently archived in the wrong order. Because I can’t fucking find it in my archives.

I really need a dedicated soul to locate this thing and give me a link to where it is, as well as which stories it’s actually between. Because I can’t find this fucker.

Accessibility for my readers

After some research into things, it turns out that I don’t need to worry about italics for the blind. They don’t really care about that noise.

Also, you can get plain text versions of everything I have up on Smashwords. The downside is you have to get the entire work. If blind readers wish to try a sample first, then the only current option is to view the sample in the online viewer and use one of those site-reading apps to read it to them.

That is, currently, the best I’ve got.

My time windows are small, and I don’t have a lot of time to read my books for an audiobook edition. Plus, the way my sales are, it’s a lot of effort for very little gain.

Therefore, I’m doing this:

Open Call For Readers:

WANTED: People with a very nice reading voice who are willing to work for a cut of the gross. Send auditions by recording yourself reading something I’ve written (anything will do, but I’d prefer your favourite out of my stories because ego) and send the file to this email: nutty @ internutter . org [remove the spaces]

If you’re willing to work with others who may be auditioning, let me know. I’m really fond of the idea of making something of a radio play out of my writing.

Figuring out (a) How to set up a shop with them and (b) How to spread the word are two things I would also love input on.

A little help?

I’m taking a Sanity Day, today. And as such, I’m foisting off as many personal frustrations as I can onto other people :D

Those of you who follow steampoweredgiraffe would also know that our beloved samhears has told us to prompt him with any text scene we’d like him to draw.

…given that I’m rather prolific and my assorted fictions are scattered through three years of prompts and assorted inspirations…

I’d like you to kindly reblog or recommend any [PG, please!] SPG-themed fanfics I have dribbled drabbled since I fell in love with the band. If you’re reblogging, please use the tag #SAMprompt

If you’re recommending, please include a link.

Thank you for bolstering my sanity.

Training up the Baby Tongue

Okay, so I will admit to having a diet free of anything slightly burn-ish. The spiciest thing I cook is chilli con carne sans the chilli, and with a moderate amount of ginger instead.

Trouble is, everything everywhere is full of hotter spices than a splash of ginger.

And I often can’t stand it.

I need to train up to withstand the spicier stuff. And I need to do so in such a way as to not turn me off the whole endeavor.

Any hints and tips as to how to evolve my baby tongue?

Need your opinion

Since my short stories are not selling, should I drop the price?

Prove me right, internet!

My best beloved and chief source of angst claims that a duct tape wallet I have designed is going to be impossible to build.

Their basis of evidence? The fact that no-one has done it before.

This is a three-fold wallet/clutch with a fold-out area for excess cards (I get lots of the bastards) and two money/paper pockets and a zipper coin holder.

I have been unable to find instructions for the clutch of my dreams and I despise video instructions.

Please point me to a pictorial guide with steps-for-dummies instructions so that I can have a new wallet/clutch before the old one disintegrates.

Help me out?

Progress report of a sort

Okay, so I finally got off my divot and transferred my soon-to-be-released free book into MSWord 7 ‘cause that’s the only editor that exists for the nice folks at Smashwords 9_9

Now I’m just waiting for @xotxot to get back to me about the cover.

I’m getting nervous. As I usually do when my success at a plan is entirely dependant on someone else. I’ve had plans of mine fail purely because someone I was depending on couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t feel like doing me a favour.

The question I put to you is:

Should I concoct a cover in my typical Suck-O-Vision limited Inkscape skills, just in case? Or should I have faith that it will all work out somehow?

After eleven days of ponies…

You get this. An explaination as to why eleven days of ponies.

Long story short, the Internet died at home and I can no longer rearrange my posts, and posting more is a pain in the arse on my mobile devices.

But fret not, loyal followers! Soon, I shall be posting from/about Thailand! Pretty pictures, ahoy. Diatribes about why can’t we do X possibly accompanying same.

And in other news, the Hound has reached a point of annoyance where we really really really have to either shell out for training, or find him a new home.

Anyone want to help us with him? He’s a year and a half old, border collie cross, fully immunized, neutered, and needs a lot of space to run and chase things. Oh, and things to chase.

If you’re interested, please message me. Remember, we’re in Australia, specifically, the bit called Burpengary, so no international requests, thanks.

I’ll see what I can do about posting a photo RSN.