Daily OpusEverything I write is freely rebloggable. Just keep the source and tell people about my books :D [Until I decide otherwise, my pronouns are Ze/Hir/Hirself. As in "Ze went to the shops to get hir medication hirself". Thank you for the respect.]
(While I tried to include the most helpful resources I could here (i.e., resources that lend themselves to one-on-one communication, individual reading, etc.), there are plenty of other great resources, including regional resources, listed in these links. Some of the resources are specific to men and others aren’t, but they are all helpful for male survivors.)
**Male Survivor (regional, international, and online resources)
The medical community on literally every female specific health issue ever: “very common condition” “no known cause” “no known cure” :))))))
What the fuck is tumblr? Like honestly what is this? Do you guys pull shit out of the inner most depths of your rectum and then just throw it on your keyboard and have it turn into a post???? This site is something else what the fuck is wrong with you people????!?!?
Endemetriosis
Vaginal Thrush
Menorrhagia
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Fibroids
Very common conditions, causes are unknown or only speculated, long term cures have not been found. Most can cause chronic pain or discomfort, all can seriously impact your quality of life.
Men are so damn privileged they can’t even imagine female bodies have different healthcare needs than theirs and that our healthcare needs are important even if they can’t be affected by one of these conditions.
Endometriosis causes excruciating pain and is a leading cause of infertility. Thrush is extremely
uncomfortable, and expensive to treat repeatedly; over-the-counter preparations rarely completely eradicate it. Menorrhagia, which I
have, makes you anæmic. PCOS causes hormonal symptoms that are socially
difficult (facial hair, acne, hair loss, weight gain). Fibroids are so common, and are often treated with a hysterectomy.
Add in fibromylgia, which affects 8x as many women as men, as well as lupus (and almost any other autoimmune condition), systemic exertion intolerance disorder (SEID), iron deficiency anæmia (all of which affect more women than men), and you have well over 25% of childbearing-age women globally living with chronic pain and tiredness.
Basically, this is a huge problem, and also one of the reasons I have been considering medical school.
Don’t forget that most pharmaceuticals go to market without ever having been tested on people with a uterus, lest someone get pregnant… seriously that is the whole rationale behind not testing >50% of the population. This has been legislated against in some countries, but still persists in the of majority drug development because of other regulations, and traditions and laziness. The use of a drug is of course monitored in the population after release, but the people “trying” it in this capacity get none of the insurance, close and regular medical examination or monetary benefit of essentially being in a late stage drug trial. Drugs that are pulled from market after release are sometimes done so on the basis that the dosage is just too high for females/afab people and this is, of course, after they’ve experienced the adverse affects.
This is why if you get pregnant your doctor will take you off basically any and all medication you’re taking (including mental health medication, can’t imagine any implications/dire consequences there), not because they know it will have an adverse affect on the foetus but because they have no idea. How wonderfully kind of them to prioritise the health and life of an unborn foetus over that of a living person, let’s just hope they don’t become ill whilst pregnant. How charmingly logical it is that they wouldn’t even bother to test drugs in people with a uterus because it’s all too difficult and gosh, darn what an ethical conundrum we’ve been faced with, let’s just not! Which is so in the spirit of capital S, Science!
Indeed, the issue is so severe that, in many cases, folks with uteruses are routinely told that their diseases and disorders are not, in fact, disorders at all, and are just a normal part of having a uterus.
Take menstrual cramps, for example. Everybody knows that cramps are a normal part of menstruation, and that virtually all people who menstruate experience them throughout their lives, right?
Except that’s not right at all.
Yes, it’s true that about two-thirds of individuals who menstruate begin to experience menstrual pain during adolescence, but it’s basically a side effect of puberty, and normally subsides by your late teens. Only about 20-40% of menstruating adults experience menstrual pain on a regular basis - and according to some estimates, as much as 80% of that figure is due to undiagnosed endometriosis or some other underlying medical condition.
Yeah, roll those numbers around in your head: if you’re an adult who experiences menstrual cramps, it’s overwhelmingly likely that your pain is a symptom of some potentially serious medical condition.
And yet we tell folks it’s just a normal thing that everybody has to deal with.
Bonus round: Look up PCOS and gender identity.
Then look up PCOS and diabetes.
Ok, to show how incredibly important this post fucking is, I just looked up endometriosis and I match just about every sympton, and it would explain not just my incredibly painful periods but many other things as well. I had no idea this existed.
Please, read this post and reblog this so others can learn.
I will reblog this every time because my cousin (a cis girl) went through seven years of pain without being taken seriously until SHE suggested it was endometriosis. And that’s not even unusual - that’s the average amount of time it takes between first symptoms and a diagnosis of endometriosis.
Only 20-40% of menstruating adults experience cramps???? Fuuuuuck >:[
For all the uterus wielders out there, this I do needs to be spread becuase this very dismissal of women is why women are overwhelmingly the majority of alternative (and even less effective) “medicine” users, becuase they have justifiable lack of faith in typical medicine.
Also this is a good and important read, not just the article either.
It’s pretty unsettling once you come to realize the fact that women really are more privileged.
Having been on both sides, yeah. This is what I’ve noticed personally.
But there’s also the situation with my mom and dad that’s really convinced me.
She physically abused him, broke his hand, beat him, tried to stab him, but he didn’t get any help from the law.
I was adopted by my maternal grandparents, even though he wanted to be the one to care for me and take me out of the situation with my mom. He had no say in where I went. He was blamed for my mom’s drug addiction, and cut off from me entirely, because of some absolute bullshit my mom told her dad.
So I grew up my whole life thinking my mom was a decent person and my dad was probably in prison, only to find out at 17 that my dad was actually a really cool family man who does what he can to provide for my sister. He got in trouble with the law once for weed that wasn’t even his. He’s a no bullshit kind of guy, but extremely caring. The only reason I know this is because he actually looked for me. And he found me.
And at 18 I really saw my mom’s true colours. Put simply, I have no trust for her anymore. She’s the kind of person who will blame others for her own mistakes, and then act like feeling guilty for doing a shit thing is someone else being manipulative. She doesn’t even recognise her own conscience. I’d idealised her for 6 years at that point.
And the only reason I had any contact with my mom? Cuz my grandfather found her. She showed no interest in where I was. She told his ex wife, my Nana, not to tell him or me where she was. To her, I was a reminder of her mistakes. To my dad, I’m a member of the family. And still the law fucked him over. Didn’t matter that he wanted me and that he was perfecly capable of caring for me, my abusive mother’s choice to give me to her dad and his wife was the one that won. And he lost all rights to his own kid.
And I ended up worse off for it really. My maternal grandfather was emotionally abusive and manipulative. So honestly it’s no wonder both my mom and aunt ended up like they did. I don’t excuse either of their variaties of bullshit, but it’s a bit more understandable. And same goes for my Nana divorcing him.
But this all could have been avoided. I could have been with my dad. I could have grown up knowing my sister. I could have been raised in a home where I could trust what someone said. I could have been in a better situation. But nope. The law doesn’t give a damn about fathers.
Sorry for the rant, but ever since I started digging into the full story and seeing all sides, this is what it came down to. And I’m pissed. My dad…he’s told me how his biggest regret was not being able to see me or talk to me for my entire childhood. He’s told me how much he wishes he could have been there for me. This kind of shit matters to me because I know he’s not the only dad who’s been through something like this. And until something changes, fathers will have to keep going through the same shit…
That’s such a shame. I’m so sorry for you both. ;-;
I’ve done research on this sort of thing before, and even though it varies from state to state (I only have data relevant to the US), the general trend is that men stand a much lower chance of gaining custody than women do.
Not to mention other advantages that women have over men, such as:
genital integrity (that is, no non-consensual procedures like circumcision)
full rights to abortion regardless of partner’s consent
being taken more seriously when reporting sexual assault/domestic violence
much more likely to get away with sexual assault/domestic violence against men
Apparently adoption agencies had problems in the past with biological parents changing their minds and wanting the child back and with absentee fathers trying to use the kid as leverage. At this point, 33 states have a registry. If you are a father, you are not married to the mother, and you want the kid, you have to be on this registry.
If you are a father, you are not married to the mother, and you want the kid, you have to be on this registry.
A warning: what this registry does is tell you if the mother decides to give the child up for adoption. It gives you almost no sway in Family Court. It gives you no custody right. All it does is require that the adoption agency inform that they have given away your child. There is a time limit, but they don’t even have to do it before the adoption goes through.
If you want legal custody and you are unmarried, here’s what you have to do.
BE ON THE REGISTRY
Financially support the mother and child. Keep bank statements, keep text messages showing your concern for the mother’s health, keep a list of doctor’s appointments you drove her to during pregnancy.
Keep a list, in written form that you can present at a moment’s notice, of every friend and family member who is interested in helping you to raise this child.
In the Family Court, men are guilty until proven innocent. Not only must you be capable of financially supporting the woman AND the child, you must prove that you have already been doing so. Family Courts do not believe that a single father can raise a child, so you must have hard evidence that you have a community of people willing to help you.
Here’s an article about a man who did all of this and still had to fight for the right to raise his child:
Anyone who plays/tests Firefall, back me up on this.
The girl outfits bare half-butts, midriffs and lots and lots of leg, despite it being a combat zone. The guy outfits… bare chest.
You don’t get to see that much chest in game, so I started a little idea for equal ass (un)coverage in the community suggestion box. And a little side thing for equal access to kitty ears.
If girl toons are allowed to have their butts flapping in the breeze, then guys should be equally as sexy.
