WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #20:
GG read that only douches wear fedoras and confronts Him about it
[prompt given by anonymous]
Dear diary,
I think today went fairly normally. I did some work and talked with some people, some things exploded and reverse-exploded, nothing hugely out of the ordinary happened. I guess the day sort of fell apart at the end of it.
I shouldn’t have had any confidence that my fedora would be unharmed today.
Be sure your friends know the difference between a trilby and a fedora.
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #17:
Offered to the Spine as a replacement hat for a show
[prompt given by meefling]
Dear diary,
The Spine’s fedoras appeared to have all gone missing very recently. I was glad that for once my fedora was okay, but I feared that it would not last. Today the bots were being shipped out to a local San Diego venue in order to perform a show.
Today I opted for another black fedora, but I wondered now if it was such a good idea to pick a blunt colour.
For optimal hat security, place name inside crown.
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #16:
Hatchy’s hatch. Enough said.
[prompt given by meefling]
Dear diary,
I honestly don’t know what happened today. I think Hatchworth accidentally went to sleep with his hatch open again. I don’t understand why he was programmed with the ability to sleep anyway, or why he decided to sleep during the day this time, but it happened, and we Walter Workers were scrambling to keep the manor organized as bizarre occurrences happened everywhere.
Today, oddly enough, I was actually expecting something to happen to my fedora, and as a matter of fact, something happened to it.
Do not allow multiversal portals near your hat.
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #15:
Matter Mistress Bunny (she’s *mean*)
[prompt given by internutter]
Dear diary,
Bunny and I were badgered by a lot of twin questions today. I don’t know why, maybe somebody was recently informed of our twin-ness and got interested. Maybe a new employee was hired and pondered if anybody had ever asked us such weird twin-related questions before.
Either way, I was hoping my fedora would stay out of it.
Hat humiliation for ultimate twin victory.
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #14:
Hatchy ate it
[prompt given by internutter]
Dear diary,
Today is Pi Day. Hatchworth misinterpreted this, as he had last year, to be Pie Day, which meant the manor smelled unusually nice today as dozens of pies were baked by the Hatchmeister himself.
To be quite honest, I thought my fedora was going to be safe today…
When a fedora gets mistaken for a pork pie :)
Makeup done.
Did the majority of it while laying on the floor in pain. It’s not too terrible for holding a mirror above my head. The 10 foot rule right? Now let’s see how long I can stand before having to lay down again.omg one of your eyebrows is eskew?
But duuuude if you have the cancel the show dude, do it, no one wants to see you flop over on stage. We would understand.
No worries, we are not canceling the show.
Venue is rented, lighting rented, tech people all hired, and all the pieces are in place. Gotta fund the show by putting it on. The show will go on no matter what, even if I am on my back the entire show playing guitar and singing.
It will be quite the show either way.
Still you need a little break. :/
Dear David:
You need to look after yourself, dammit! We love you and definitely do NOT want to watch you suffer. That shit’s for H/C fanfic only.
So, a few little things from someone who’s sorta-suffered the same way:
- MOTHERFUCKING IBUPROFEN! Get that shit into you. It reduces swelling and may even do something for the pain. Yes, you can mix it with acetaminophen and have no harm come to you. Not sure about aspirin. You may want to google that.
- MEDICAL BLOODY CORSETS. Might help. Might not help. Rent one and see if it does anything for you. Wearing one may help your back be a little less owie.
- OVERDOSE ON THAT DAMN VITAMIN C! I shit you not, taking a double-dose of vitamin C helps keep all those predatory head colds off your ass. I’ve been doing ODonC for two years and have not had a Lurgi since.
- DON’T MOVE HEAVY SHIT FFS! Avoiding injury is the best way to not get hurt.
Doy. I’m fairly certain everyone else will understand that you have your limits and an ounce of prevention far outweighs having you lying on the floor and feeling awful for days at a time. - Bonus round: COLLOIDAL BOLLOCKING SILVER! Yes, it’s granola hippie weirdo shit, but it actually fucking works. It has amazing goddamn healing properties and you should at least try it for a month and see how life goes for you.
::pants out remaining exasperation:: This is not how suffering for art is supposed to go. Got it?
(via nilasjunkart)
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #13:
Wanda made it into a purse
[prompt given by meefling]
Dear Diary,
Today I served as a bit of an escort for the members of the house who weren’t employees. Peter Walter V had called a meeting of sorts, I wasn’t told the details, and I was one of the people sent out to round everyone up into the living room to get the meeting started.
I decided on a plain white fedora with a green band around it to wear for today, nice and simple to somewhat match my outfit.
But it makes such a *cute* purse…
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #12:
Rabbit gives it to the man living in the hedge maze and no-one’s brave enough to go try and get it back
[prompt given by i-clash-with-everything]
Dear diary,
We discovered today that the yard work wasn’t all done! We thought Gary and I had done a real good job with the weeds and the plant management, but it looks like we forgot about the hedges!
Once again I chose an outdoorsy fedora to work with, and I ended up feeling a little like Indiana Jones!
I now have the head cannon that the Walter Estates have all sorts of random characters just… living there.
Nobody knows why. Or when they moved in.
Hatchy sneaks them sandwiches when he thinks no-ones looking.
WMMDDWFIWM
Why Matter Master David Doesn’t Wear Fedoras In Walter Manor
Reason #11:
Steve Negrette’s dragon-locs
[prompt given by internutter]
Dear Diary,
Today, finally, we got a hang-out day. That’s a day where nothing is immediately scheduled out of the ordinary. We finished cleaning all of the labs out yesterday and the previous day, so that’s all done, so Steve is a little miffed he came over for no reason, so instead, he wished to putz around. I was sent to look after him as he did so.
Today I tried to pick a softer colour for my fedora, for relaxation’s sake.
For hat safety - never play with anyone else’s hair.