It was easy to tell when Taako was stressing out about shit. He had morphing hair and zero control over it, so when it curled, he was freaked out. Its natural state was that of a slightly wooly wave, but here on the moon? He had ringlets on his good days.

Merle knew his botany, and giving an Elf the traditional de-stresser - extract of Dreamroot - would only make things worse. Elves needed a different source of mellow. Better yet, he had recently been reminded of what that was. On the way to Wave Echo cave, Taako had stopped to pluck a dandelion gone to seed.

He’d blown a good half or more of the seeds off and muttered, “Some for the wild,” and then tucked the rest, and some leaves, into a little pouch that also held a very small clay pipe in its folds. Their Elf wizard was also a ‘lion fiend.

No wonder he was stupid as fuck. He spent most of his life high as a kite on dandelions. Given how stressed out he was, Merle could see why.

There were no dandelions on the moon. Everything up on the Bureau base was carefully catered, meticulously planned, and rigidly controlled. There were no ‘lion fiends on the moon. Well. There hadn’t been until Taako had been forced to go cold turkey by the surrounds he was trapped in.

So he had taken a trip down to some vacant lots on the surface, and harvested some seeds before coming back up with some cover shopping.

A few little ceramic pots. A few measures of good, rich soil. A quiet place with sunshine that nobody could find… and there were dandelions on the moon. He carefully selected some of the beginning leaves and dried them according to the proper specifications, bundling them up in a little envelope of waxed paper.

The next meeting Taako attended, Merle slipped him the envelope. “From the department of Don’t Tell the Director.”

He peeked. “Aaaww… yiss…”

*

Angus McDonald, fresh new Seeker for the Bureau of balance, had crept out after the Wizard Reclaimer known as Taako. He was an enigma. A self-proclaimed idiot wizard who somehow managed to have a ‘moment of clarity’ that solved the entire case.

He was pretty sharp, actually. Angus suspected that Taako might be playing the fool at expert levels.

Taako’s braids were tight and stiff, standing out against his skull and looking almost ready to snap. He busied himself with something small that easily fit in the cup of his hand. There was a sparkle of Prestidigitation and a hint of small flame. Taako inhaled deeply, held that breath, and the golden braids fell loose and lax. Still perfect, because Elves never had a hair out of place, but far less curly than it usually was.

A plume of smoke smelling vaguely like burning leaf litter, and Taako was leaning, far more relaxed, against the corner he had once only had his shoulder propped against. He fought outright collapse and mumbled, “Dayumn, Merle… That’s some shit…”

Angus knew what this was. “You smoke ‘lion, sir?”

Taako looked. “Aw shit.” A sigh. A different curse. “Yeah. I got like… hypertension or some shit. I take it to chill out. Keeps me off’a the panic attacks.”

“I’d heard dandelion had some medicinal use for Elves, sir. But… how is it possible to take more of a hit than you intended?”

“How’d you…? Wait. World’s greatest detective. Yeah.” He pondered the smouldering remnants in the pipe and snuffed it. “Thing is… thing is… thing… thing… Thing is… Merle… has to fuck. With everything.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Especially plants. It gets gross. Real gross.”

Angus connected the dots despite Taako’s evident inebriation. “Mr Highchurch has been breeding stronger dandelions.”

“Kind’a lucky he wasn’t breeding with them,” mumbled Taako. “Every fuckin’ time he slides me a new supply, it’s…” He wavered. Drooped. Shook himself back to consciousness. “Way stronger. Way, way, way, way stronger.”

Angus helped him sit down before he fell down. “Sir, if you know it’s stronger, why don’t you cut back on your dosage?”

Taako attempted to focus and rolled ones five times in a row. “Kid,” he said. “I’m awready doin’ that.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 5]

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