yourplayersaidwhat:

The Firbolg of our party went in search of food for the rest of us.

DM: You find the wildest berries you’ve ever seen.

Other player: In fact, they are so wild they are savage. They even roast you.

DM: They are barberryans.

(Source: yourplayersaidwhat, via sapphireswimming)

stereden:

necarion:

lynati:

themoonmothwrites:

My 4yo: *points to the label on my tea bag* what does that say?

Me: it says “over 300 years of experience”. It means the people at twinings have been making tea for 300 hundred years.

Her: *dramatic gasp* they haven’t even died?!

Me: *whispering* tea vampires…

Immortalitea.

You may live forever, but there is a steep cost.

@thebibliosphere

(via the-barefoot-hatter)

moniquill:

(via interstellarvagabond)

mama-germany:

(Source: nunyabizni, via sapphireswimming)

rockinlibrarian:

I have no idea why this made me laugh out loud as hard as it did.

prosecutorvonkarma:

resealable

prosecutorvonkarma:

hey. what do a selkie and a ziploc bag have in common

(Source: spidermanifested, via savahnahhallow)

godtsol:

Bastard Sword!

(Source: nerviovago, via faireladypenumbra)

flavoracle:

justbadpuns:

I think midwives deserve more respect. They really help people out.

At first I thought this was actually a midwife appreciation post, and didn’t even realize it was a pun.

I guess it’s all in the delivery.

(Source: justbadpuns, via geekhyena)

bobthemole:

newtonpermetersquare:

The behaviour of sound is fascinating

Fuck.

(via cartoonnutter)

someemochick:

this is textbook wight privilege

(via buellersfueller)

tharook:

ayellowbirds:

On the one hand, i’m amused at the joke. On the other hand, I’m a librarian and this shelving is horrifying.

Well, no shelving system is without fault.

(Source: hurricanenoelle, via buellersfueller)