Challenge #02045-E221: What is Owed — Steemit
Thief hunkered in a corner. She didn’t know what she was thinking when she saved this Mage from the brigands, but now they feared their anger. Mages were glass cannons, it was true, but they were also vengeful shits who could turn -say- a kobold Rogue into a toad or worse. And Thief had lived her entire, brief life in fear of others’ wrath.
The Mage stopped pacing. “Okay,” they said. Impossibly beautiful and glamorous because they were an Elf. “Let’s get one thing straight.”
Thief flinched on instinct. Held her breath as she watched the Elf cross the room and tidy up a crooked painting on their shared inn wall.
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Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending
“To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened.” – @recklessprudence
It’s not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons’ lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues kept stealing my cauldrons! Do you have any idea how hard it is for a hermit to get a halfway decent cauldron? It’s harder than you think.
So, yes. I admit to slaying a few under-prepared adventurers just to get the coin for what folks like them stole in the first place. And a sign for the entrance to my cave so that, I hoped, the adventurers would no longer barge into my home and disturb my meditations.
What I got instead was a bunch of adventurers thinking I was some kind of super mystic who could either heal them or grant some form of divine booster to their extant skills, and thereby defeat whatever it was they were fighting this week. And when I could only offer them soup? They trounced me and stole everything. Again. So I started brewing up some poisons to lace the soup with, and antidotes for myself and anyone who actually turned out to be bona-fide good. It saved a great deal of time, to be honest.
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Challenge #01310-C215: The Opposite of Magic
@recklessprudence - a tip of the hat-rack to the late, great, Sir Terry Pratchett
Challenge #01255-C160: Leave Me Alone!
@callmegallifreya - you leave my pigs alone, damn you.
Challenge #01185-C090: Deaded Again
@recklessprudence - it’s not undead servitute, it’s revival on the installment plan.
Challenge #01167-C072: That Darned Charisma
@callmegallifreya - Soon,the Paladin has a fucking harem of reformed villains and an awesome reputation…
Challenge #01029-B297: One Post-Adventure Evening in a Village Tavern
@recklessprudence: Some comedic spot check fails.
Challenge #00695 - A330: One Dank Afternoon in a Dungeon Pub
A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Get me a beer and a mop!”
“Har har har,” droned the barman, who happened to be a troll. “Like I don’t hear that every day.”
“Can’t blame a lich for trying to put a smile on that ugly puss.”
“Trolls don’t smile,” growled the troll.
“…okay… I guess you can…”
The bartender poured a shot of Lich Lightning, not exactly a beverage, but definitely an intoxicant for the fleshly challenged. A spell in liquid form that acted the same as anything alcoholic. And without the mess.
The skeleton downed it and coughed explosively. “Smooth,” it croaked. It also laid a gold coin on the table.
“Where the heck to you keep those, anyway?” wondered the Troll.
“Don’t ask. If we think about it, we spill.”
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