Challenge #01511-D050: This House is Not Haunted
http://goddammitstacey.tumblr.com/post/155552788003
“I just turned to my housemate and said, “y’know, we’d never know if we were haunted” because we have four cats between us, so every clunk, bump, and crash gets entirely ignored
and now I want a movie about a ghost becoming increasingly desperate to haunt a family but they have cats and so the poor dear goes completely ignored” – @callmegallifreya
I was, once.
Nothing more than that. Simply that I was, once. As in, I was a single lady living alone. I was incredibly protective of my home and my things. I was alive. Not any more. I’m still in my house and I don’t like it when other people move in. I make… trouble.
Shifting things around. Throwing things off of their places. Moving things into odd places. All the usual poltergeist stuff. And it did work for years. I kept my house all to myself. And then they moved in. Two nice lesbians and their five cats. They say ghosts and cats don’t get along. They don’t know anything.
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Challenge #01386-C291: Anti-serendipity
“What happened to the scarf of invulnerability?”
“Uh… my cat ate it.” – OohLookShiny
The cat in question growled from its position under the ottoman. Yellow eyes glowed out from the shadows.
“The good news,” said Ki'van, “is that the scarf itself is invulnerable. We… um… just have to wait a bit.”
Now the growling from under the ottoman took on a slightly musical quality. So… the cat wasn’t just pissed at him.
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These cats live in our office, this is where they sleep
Have you considered only one cat sleeps there, and the rest are……
copycats?
get out
Hello? Little human? Okay I kiss you now.
Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby’s mouth to see if it is still breathing. Were it not breathing, the cat would commence to eat it.
FUN FACT
Fun Fact: The one article I could find about a cat owner being eaten after their death also mentions a pet dog on the premises.
Fun fact: if cats were interested in eating humans, they would also lick up any spilled blood from accidents in the home
Fun fact: NO CAT OWNERS HAVE SEEN THEIR CATS GO AFTER HUMAN BLOOD
Fun fact: There are hundreds of records concerning canid predation of human bodies and only one of suspected felid predation.
Fun fact: Dogs find us very tasty indeed. There are multiple accounts of pet dogs eating their owners after their deaths and some dogs predating on living owners with circulation and sensitivity issues.
There’s even one dog who ate most of one diabetic owners’ lower leg whilst said owner was watching television.
This cat is far more likely to be figuring out where the intermittent draft is coming from rather than sizing up that baby for food.
This has been your unscheduled bulletin from the offices of For Fuck’s Sake Google Shit.
(Source: catleecious, via carpet-bags-and-flying-bunn-blog)