Challenge #02435-F245: The It Factor
As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play “tag” was the worst decision of my life. – Anon Guest
Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They’re social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental balance… yet there are highly antisocial types for whom solitude is a benefit. That said, Humanity tends to spread its pack-bonding indiscriminately throughout their surrounding areas.
Humans can be sensitive and insensitive, rough or soft, gentle or harsh… sometimes it’s all one Human, and in the space of an hour. They are the laziest pursuit predators known to intelligent life, and will go out of their way to find a simpler means of doing literally anything. Faster, cheaper, easier… those seem to be the keys to Human fulfilment. All so they can spend more time playing games. It is the Human capacity for games that prompted me to try one of the simpler ones.
‘Tag’ should not have been a problem. It was, according to my research, a game played amongst their softer, younger varietals. A game made for infants and juveniles should not be much trouble for a Havenworlder. So I thought. I should have realised that instigating a game of Tag on a mixed-species vessel, so close to Human Silly Season, was so much more than a mistake.
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Challenge #02432-F242: Unfortunate History
“No way. A society advanced enough to even think of getting into space must live in harmony with itself. Everybody has following the rules encoded in their genes. The consequences of disrupting the system of government are equivalent to those of an asteroid impact. Of course you’d say that I’m a Havenworlder, things work differently on Terra, yada-yada-yada, but that’s an universal rule… right?” – Anon Guest
“Er. Not really. Humanity’s first steps into space travel were the direct result of an antagonistic -uh- widdling contest between two overpowered polities as a method to show whose ideology was better.” Human Dae seemed embarrassed, but it wasn’t about the choice of bowdlerisms. “Then, the first colonies on another planet were made by a bunch of billionaires to escape the climate change disaster. They sold tickets to potential colonists when they were really meat for the grinder. They died of all the space hazards whilst making some rich vent-hole’s off-planet resort the pinnacle of safety and luxury.”
Thrrp stared “You are not serious.”
“It gets worse. Our first colonies on the moon were scientific, but the gloss came off that gingerbread in under a year and they converted everything into a penal colony - a dumping ground for the people that the governments didn’t agree with. It stayed that way for years until the Nae'hyn liberated them with a network of underground tunnels and lots of therapy.” Human Dae paused to stare at the muggers waiting in Memory Lane. “Lots and lots and lots of therapy.”
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Challenge #02429-F239: Fresh as the Day…
Due to a new find on Earth the whole Galaxy’s is in a State of utter bafflement and confusion.
Even Scientists are clueless about the How.
One Human has Survived. Locked away deep underground in a sort of Cryogenic sleeping Cell, years before even the First Prototypes where built.
The Signs on the Pod says “Activated 2019. All Vitals normal. Beginning Waking-Procedure. T-24 Hours”
A Human still alive from before the Shattering. – Anon Guest
The vault under the mountain was brilliantly engineered to stay intact despite the passing ages. It ran on a combination of geothermal, nuclear, solar, and wind power. It had backup systems on its backup systems. It had conditions on its conditions.
Nevertheless, when it was discovered and then subsequently breached - because there is no such thing as a locked box that a Human will not want to open - sensors and systems activated, and surviving displays activated.
For the record, a properly shielded CRT screen can last forever if it is made out of bulletproof perspex. All the partially broken ones showed the same display. It read, Cryosuspension chamber V12.87.12.3 Activated 13 Dec 2019. Dots crawled across the screen. Chamber breach detected. More dots. Atmosphere analysis complete. Beginning revival process. Further dots, then some incomprehensible technobabble. The bottom of the screen maintained the same information.
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Challenge #02428-F238: Resistance Training
being a telepath isn’t easy. Being an apprentice one even less. That’s why all apprentice telepath first learn and practice on their teachers, then on volunteer from mind reading friendly species, practising the basics, be it reading someone’s mind, communicating basically and making the whole thing as less uncomfortable as possible.
The first true “test” is to go and listen as long as possible to a small group of humans passing by the main hall. Officially it’s to make sure the basic are learnt, utilizing the relative low telepathic capability of humans to prevent any high backlash.
Unofficially it’s to present, or more subject, the apprentices to one of the most chaotic thought process known.
The record for an apprentice is less than 30 seconds. – Anon Guest
The Melil have lived their entire lives with telepathy. They have not lived their entire lives with other species. As a long-lived people, they have plenty of time to learn acclimatisation to other beings’ mental emanations. The Melil are used to restraining their thoughts. Other species are not.
Thus, when a Melil wants to enter into the greater spaces of the Galactic Alliance -which they do owing to complicated fertility reasons- they have to train to be accustomed to what they refer to as Galactic Static. This is thousands of different minds, with different views and ways of thinking, with different ways of viewing the world around them. Most are relatively uncomplicated. A special few are not.
Of all the varied services they could perform, Melil telepathy is most widely useful in the UFTP’s eternal search for all of its colonial worlds. The people on the other end of the freshly-opened wormholes definitely do not speak GalStand, have a vastly different culture to the one finding them, and may not be at the same technological level. Things can get complicated fast.
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Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax
[AN: So Steemit.com is having some shenanigans which prevent me from posting there. Rest assured that this tale will be up as soon as it can be managed, at which point this post will change to the default template. Thank you for your patience and understanding]
Explaining ‘The Benny Hill Show’ to future Culture classes. – Anon Guest
Every entertainment is a product of its time and a product of its medium and a product of its culture. Nothing shows this more than the audio-visual media of the twentieth century. Here, technological progress evolves over the passage of a handful of years and highlights cultural evolution at the same time.
In this unit, we’re examining a pre-Shattering comedian Benny Hill, and the show he created in his name and image. Here, we witness a grown man occupying the 'naughty schoolboy’ archetype in a semi-burlesque series of sketch comedies that sometimes barely managed to sail past the censors. This is the direct result of the dying embers of prudism meeting the rising forces of sexual liberation, in an era where an older man interested in a younger woman was still not viewed as a creep.
Established values are parodied for comedic value. Here, the older man is not an authority, but rather a figure of ridicule. One that is ridiculed even further by being overwhelmed by young, virile, and powerful women. The titular player in the show is often incompetent, or accidentally beneficial in a way that offends the majority. The culmination of every episode is the chase sequence.
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Challenge #02426-F236: Trust Us On This
First meal of the day, in a ‘Greasy Spoon’ Space diner. – Anon Guest
There are some spaces that are eternally stuck at one hour. In most casinos, it is eternally early evening - just after work, so there’s plenty of time to kick back and relax. Shopping malls have a similar atmosphere, but generally put themselves earlier in the afternoon so one doesn’t have to rush to collect the kids. In diners, it’s always a little late, but not that late. Plenty of time to get a bite and a coffee and maybe some witty reparté with some guy named Bob who apparently lives there.
It’s never breakfast-time. It’s always a late dinner-time. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you can wrangle a late-lunch. The point is, you should probably never ask for scrambled eggs and a fried slice. Cake or pie, the best breakfast-type food is probably a bagel, but only if it’s one of the fancy ones. Spoiler alert - diners are never the fancy ones. If you want fancy, you don’t go to a diner.
The newcomer to the Unsuitable Food emporium known as Joe’s Dinner (yes we spelled it that way on purpose) had obviously not got the memo. The Bob on the corner and a few of the truly determined stared at the fresh-faced newbie who was very obviously Not From Around Here, who had emphasised the point by saying, “Any chance of scrambled eggs and a waffle?”
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