Challenge #02495-F305: Goofy Scary Skeletons
“Be careful of humans this time of cycle; because this is when they perform a ritual they call ‘Halloween.’ They place images of human skeletal structures, women with green skin, humans biting into other humans’ necks, and other frightening images.” – Anon Guest
Some Humans celebrate mortality. Others celebrate horror and the unknown. In both circumstances, part of the celebration involves dressing up and a certain volume of depictions of Human skeletons. The cultural significance of these have been through more than five hundred years and mashed through the sieve of misunderstanding by the fork of ignorance. It should be no small surprise that such are easily confused by outsiders.
The key difference is that those celebrating Dio de Los Muertes never go door to door demanding sweets and threatening pranks. Mix in overlapping calendars depending entirely on how out of sync a Human colony became over the intervening centuries, and you get passages of time marked as Human Deception Festival on the Galactic Calendar.
Some species just never got the hang of theatrical makeup, or facepaint. It’s not their fault that they’re easily confused by Humans overdoing that particular aspect of the celebrations. Most of them entirely miss the thing with the pumpkins or turnips because one creature’s specific holiday decoration is another’s casual decor. The net effect is further exacerbated by attempts to render the various holidays safe for Havenworlders.
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Challenge #02494-F304: Mr Sunshine’s New Friend
His name was Mr. Sunshine. One of the better known, and as properly feared, members of Pax Humanis. He had been working on a station for some time now when he meets a member of a fluffy, bipedal, cat-like species. They were frequent visitors to this station because it was one of the regular trade stops along their delivery route. They delivered medical supplies and mail, mostly. And, occasionally, carried passengers. One young female of the species meets the cat-loving Mr. Sunshine not knowing he’s a dangerous man, not knowing much of Pax Humanis, all she knows he is human and she had wanted to learn about a race she’d only heard bits and pieces about from her elders. She was a grown cat, dangit! But she doesn’t really understand what she becomes for him, in her own feline ways, until another human, loud and crude, tries to drag her away. – Anon Guest
[AN: This story harkens back to two other tales about Mr Sunshine. Here and Here. Offensensitivity warning for references to violence]
Despite being an Uplift, Lil had never seen a Human in the flesh before. She had been taken from the Nufurria creches as a baby and fostered out to a loving family of more… natural felinoids. They’d helped support her extra medical necessities and raised her to be a functioning cogniscent in Galactic Society. Until that moment, she had never met her maker species, and her parents had worried about that.
Lil did some checks on her personal psych-eval app to make sure this wasn’t some remnant of genengineered subservience and was relieved when she came up clear. Good. She didn’t need an escort, but apparently the Human in the nice, neat sweatervest did. There was warning tape around him that blared, Caution! Deathworlder! in huge letters and rather urgent colours. Silver, black, yellow and red. Lil couldn’t see what was so dangerous about a Human at an easel. He looked… perfectly at peace.
According to Lil’s data-reader, he was an average Human male. Average height, average build, average colouration. She crept up to look over his shoulder, outside of the caution tape and bollards, of course. He was painting a portrait of a worn and weary Skitty who just happened to be lounging on a mossy pillow in a simulated sunbeam. This Human’s picture was comparatively idyllic. The mossy pillow plant had become a grassy meadow dappled with sun and spotted with flowers. The old, battered Skitty was still old and battered, but his wounds and scars were somehow more noble. The coat was glossier in the portrait than it was on the cat.
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Challenge #02492-F302: One Doorway to Bonding
A Human, a Kilper and a Drumtun walk into a bar and never leave. The reason why is because they got stuck on the doorframe in the washroom – Anon Guest
Thrikkuk, designated Companion to Human Bob, gasped. “Did they die?”
Human Bob sputtered, “What? No. It’s a joke. It isn’t real. It’s supposed to be funny. Kilper and Drumtun exudants together create this kind of natural glue, so…”
“That’s very toxic,” said Thrikkuk. “You should stay away from that when it happens. I have heard a solvent of citric acid can neutralise the adhesive and dissolve it.”
Human Bob seemed to be reassessing her life up to this point. “Okay. I can see we’re going to have to start with Baby’s First Joke Book here. Your lot aren’t ready for more sophisticated humour.”
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Challenge #02491-F301: The Human Definition
Trying to help humans better integrate into Galactic Civilization, several individuals, scholars, medics, psychologists, ect, get together and begin to travel to areas where there are lots of humans. Their goal is to write a new manual on human psychology, health - both mental and physical, how to interact with humans, to debunk misconceptions about humans, etc. Amongst the team are, in fact, several humans to help. Their job is to help the Galactics separate fact from assumption and write a comprehensive manual that will increase understanding and better help those who still had trouble working with this seemingly insane race. Including possibly busting the longest running misconception of all, assuming humans were actually insane. – DaniAndShali
Of the committee to create the new and improved Manual of Understanding Humans, it was the Humans who were most adamant about rolling back the ‘insanity’ classification. There was little surprise in that, since being told your entire species is bonkers is definite grounds for annoyance.
Every Human present seemed to be taking it personally, though. “We confess to being Deathworlders,” admitted Human Sal. “However, the definition of 'insane’… Insanity is not endemic to the entire species. Many of us, most of us, are perfectly capable of navigating Galactic Society like any other functioning member of that society. We’re just like everyone else.”
“No other species has a Silly Season,” said the Melil Yssa. “No other species has a long and checkered history of chasing material profit in exchange for endangering the potential for life in their own environment. No other species has such a history of enforcing theocratic standards based on very small standards of one holy text. These standards, I might add, fly in the face of other standards, such as that to preserve life.”
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Challenge #02488-F298: Deathworlder Relaxation Activities
They had heard humans liked to camp outside from time to time to relax and enjoy themselves. There was no scientific research for it, they had good homes to live in, but humans, as they said to some of their companions, just liked to “rough it” from time to time. So, the havenworlders invited a group of humans to show them how to “rough it” on their world. By human standards, this world was an incredible paradise. To the havenworlders, the night time was a frightening thing due to all the large animals that came out. – DaniAndShali
Of course the Humans had built a fire. It was a contained fire, but it was still a large fire for the Havenworlders. Though the taming and use of flame was one of the more important steps into cogniscent civilisation, Havenworlders considered it a mark of advancement to get as far away from using fire as possible.
Meanwhile, Humanity took three centuries to finally abandon making steam to create power, and still had an almost unnatural fascination with flame.
The Humans on this expedition hadn’t even bothered to put up tents. They were lounging around on the soft mossy hillocks and looking up at the stars, completely at ease. They seemed to have no idea that the night was dark and full of terrors. Therefore, Uisse attempted to tell them. “You must make shelters and hide. The big beasts will come out.”
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Challenge #02486-F296: Some of Parts
They used to meet you on arrival and arrange everything for your stay. Now they find valued jobs as Concierges in up-market hotels. The person who knows where to find experts and enthusiasts for Films and Docos. Inspired by a Thomas Cook employee who used to greet VIP’s and smooth their path. – Knitnan
Some people are best at connections. They just… know people. They know another individual who might have the knowledge of the thing. They know a person who knows a person. They network, and hoard interesting people with equally interesting niche knowledge like a dragon may hoard gold and gems. They gleefully connect the people who want to learn with the people who already know.
Some people are best at finding sources. Where to get that esoteric fiddly bit that is apparently not made any more. Where to find the best examples of some species’ delicacy. Who creates those marvellous little art pieces and why they leave them in seemingly random locations. If you want to find something, if you want to know the best place to get them at the most competitive price, if you’re willing to pay for it to be made custom… these are the people who help you.
Rarest of all are the people who can do both. They are a beacon of friendly help, a central repository for local knowledge. They know a person who knows a person… they know where you can get that. They are the rock upon which the pillars of community lie. In the Galactic Alliance, they are known collectively as Aunties. It is not a blood relation honorific. It is a title. Those concerned with their gendered variant can also choose from Uncle, the masculine version, and Unty, the agender version. Some folks just can’t be stopped from being specific in that one aspect. They know what to do to help almost any problem, and if they find themselves temporarily foxed, they know how to network.
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