Challenge #02534-F344: Designed For Disaster
There are reasons why humans coined the term “idiot proofing”, many MANY reasons – Anon Guest
Make it idiot proof and the world will invent a better idiot – Human engineering axiom.
It was a Human who came up with Murphy’s Law, and further Humans who came up with all the associated corollaries. Humans investigated them all, invented science to prove them, and then invented science that provided vital analysis into the reasons why it was so.
All devices made by Humans are over-engineered to cope with stresses both outside and inside. They print instructional plaques and then make certain that the device cannot possibly be used in any other way. They have a language of use, of codifying function into design, that other species have to work at to even parallel.
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Challenge #02533-F343: In the Eye of the Storm
Humans don’t all celebrate Silly Seasons. Some find it disorienting, some have been damaged, some protest aspects of the culture/celebration in question, some just don’t care, and occasionally they’re not ‘in the mood.’ For those who’ve resigned themselves to the boisterous Silly Season, a human who doesn’t conform to the human 'norm’ is actually more alarming than everything else they’ve prepared to tolerate. – Anon Guest
Silly Season is not a set festival, as many new to the Galactic Alliance are wont to assume. It is, more or less, mass hysteria in order to vent tensions. Many have tried to predict how and where a Silly Season will strike, but Humans are unpredictable. It’s part of both their terror and their charm.
That said, there are those who just never feel the need to vent. Those who rarely, if ever vent, and those who find other safety valves in their day-to-day occupations. They, like other Humans, are gently herded into the festival in progress. However, they do not catch the infectious mood.
Human Zaf is one such, thrust gently and kindly into the writhing mass of partying Humans that had essentially taken over the commercial district. They stood, just off to the side of the barrier, blinking in confusion at the instantaneous party going on. Zaf was temporarily distracted by another Human running past in just their Skins, trailing what looked to be a cloth banner behind them in their upraised hands.
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Challenge #02531-F341: Conflict of Interests
Don’t worry we’re completely safe
explosion
Relatively safe
laughter in the distance
As long we don’t move from here, we’re safe
door flies open
I think it’s best if we leave – Anon Guest
[AN: Nonny, you have hit one of my favourite tropes - the chain of circumstantial self-correction. I confess to laughing out loud]
There used to be two absolute certainties in the universe - death and taxes. However, after the Humans entered the Galactic awareness, three things were certain. Death, taxes, and unbelievable amounts of destruction when a Human was around. It didn’t seem to matter whether or not the Human was on their side, there was just… devastation in their wake.
It took quite some time for the Galactic Alliance to collectively learn that not all Humans were like that, but their fearsome reputation had cemented itself by then. Of course, in the initial stages of introducing themselves to the Alliance, the kind of Humans who went out into strange new worlds and new civilisations were exactly the sorts of people for whom half a stick of dynamite was an ideal solution to most of life’s problems.
This was merely a fine point of order to Grax, currently huddled in a Human Guide’s arms in the middle of what sounded like a war zone. Neither of them had intended to be in a war zone, they had just happened to be performing archaeology in a continent that also had valuable limited mineral resources… that two other factions decided to have a battle over. Human Jess had been quick about finding a place of shelter, and insisted on shielding Grax with their body.
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Challenge #02530-F340: Love for All Creatures
Humankind will happily share/shelter tiny pets with/from the universe. Hamsters, flying squirrels, cats, parrots, sugar gliders, lizards and snakes, even dogs. As an unsocial person, I will socialize the heck out off my girl despite my discomfort. As a nonviolent person, I will murder anyone who lays a hand on my baby. How much would I love someone who protected my pet for me? – Anon Guest
This wasn’t the first time Human An had woken up in a medbay. It was the smells that clued him in that this was not his ship. This didn’t smell like the Fortune’s Favour. An instantly knew that he had failed. The ship had died. The fact that he somehow survived meant that the Tralnith had rescued him from whatever he had decided to do to try and save them all.
Such a pity that traumatic injury wiped out short-term memories formed during said trauma. The last thing he remembered was insisting to his crewmates that he had an excellent idea, even though that was a lie. Therefore it was probably some winging-it thing that almost got him killed.
Tears stung his eyes as he remembered Fluffy. He hadn’t got Fluffy out. He had been thinking of all the cogniscent creatures on the Fortune’s Favour and not his dear little companion. Oh Powers, no… The others wouldn’t have thought of Fluffy either. The Medik came rushing in, a lizard, but not like the Tralnith. Different features and nose spikes. “All is safe,” they said in GalSimple. “All crew well. Wish seeing?”
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Challenge #02528-F338: Meeting Bip and Bop
A human is always highly protective of a large front pocket of his shirt. He makes sure, when he puts on his skins, always clear ones never opaque, or his armor, that there’s a space there, rather inefficient, but it’s when a tiny head pokes out that people realize, he has a pet there. A sweet little sugar-glider that is his constant companion. Sure they’re almost as fragile as a level 4 Havenworlder, but he loves his little pet very much. He has been raising these sweet earth-creatures since he was a child, and has never travelled without one in his pocket. – DaniAndShali
Humans are strange. Most Galactics know this, but every now and again, they find the statistical outlier on the normal curve that just serves to remind them of the very strong stereotype. Such as Human Li. When not on duty, when ‘just bumming about’ the station secure zone, they wore a shirt with a pocket that they guarded with their lives. They were careful of it and nearly ferociously protective of it.
Worn over Ships’ Skins, the garment was almost superfluous, and some wondered if the Human Li was somehow uncomfortable in Standard Mean Temperature[1]. As observations continued, Human Li’s co-workers started to wonder if their Human had something toxic or dangerous in their pocket. So a small committee of concerned peoples gathered to figure out who would get to ask the Human a dangerous question.
The eventual loser of the competition carefully approached as the Human was gently manipulating an eyedropper to the mouth of their shirt pocket. “Human Li… we are all growing concerned with–” Grix paused as the pocket in question moved on its own. “–the pocket of the shirt you wear. You have been… alarmingly protective of it and we need to know… are you carrying toxic matter and if so, why?”
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