Challenge #02560-G003: Human NO!
A: A Dyson sphere just millions of solar panels covering a star
B: But why do we need that much energy?
A: To make a black hole bomb
B: WAIT NO
https://youtu.be/ulCdoCfw-bY – Anon Guest
Ever since Nikola Tesla accidentally invented radio[1], Humanity has been obsessed with transmitting energy without using some form of wire between points A and B. The instant they had the means, they switched to becoming obsessed with gathering as much energy as possible. Most species were sated with enough to deal with every obstacle, but Humanity loved having more.
Deathworlders tend to be instinctually in need of having enough to deal with every possible misfortune and at minimum two of the impossible ones at the same time. Most roll their eyes, muttering about Deathworlder contingency plans under their collective breaths. Some rare few dare to ask questions.
The star the Humans were building around had no planets, so logically there was no reason to be building there. It was far from the usual shipping lanes. Yet the Humans were installing top-of-the-line solar panelling at a safe distance from the surface of the star. What separated this stellar body from literally millions of others like it was that it was a slow-burning star with a lifetime measured in billions of eons. It was only natural that curiosity won out over caution.
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Challenge #02556-G001: Tearful Appreciation
“Are you alright?” The same question they got lots of times when tears would fall down their cheeks. Of course, they understood the Galactics were not used to seeing a human crying when nothing was wrong, obviously. They were sitting with their friends watching a video that showed incredible sunrises and sunsets from various worlds with a background for these wonders being the sound of an orchestra increasing the richness of the experience. And, as always, they wiped their cheeks and said softly to their friends. “It’s… just.. so beautiful.” – Anon Guest
Human Pal was an emotional cryer. As in, more than the standard emotion made hir weep. Tears sprang readily to hir face at the drop of a hat. Not just sadness or anger, but also joy, wonder, and pure aesthetic adoration. The old term for it was ‘crybaby’. Newer, more understanding terms include “hyper-responsive tear ducts” or the more abbreviated, “tearfully emotive”. Pal is… unusual, even against the Human baseline for unusual Human behaviour.
Thus, when ze enters a new place, ze prefers to introduce hirself and hir weepy eyes to as many people as possible. Ze also introduces all the concepts via the local free Infonets. Nevertheless, for the first two months of a new habitat, the one question everyone in her new community asks is, “Are you all right?”
Fortunately livesuits have chemanalysis built into their liquid vacs, so when out on a mission, the crew need only check their HUDs for status updates. The very instant the Galactic Alliance learned that Human tears had different chemical makeups depending on the emotion behind them, they added chemanalysis to tear vacs in every human-compatible livesuit. It was important information, helpful to those who might miss other cues. Outside of a livesuit, however, the question always remained.
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Challenge #02555-F365: It’s So Relaxing
Oh, I can’t really handle all the excitement and action in FPS, especially the PVP ones. I much prefer simulation games, like Frost Punk! You build your little town, and manage resources, and try not to let all your people freeze to death or starve or something. Nice, relaxing fun. – Anon Guest
Humans love to play. Their play takes every form you could imagine and some that seem incredibly unlikely. Some play involves flinging themselves physically at obstacles, off obstacles, or around obstacles. Sometimes, it’s all three at once. Some Humans play by gathering in one room together and arguing in between bouts of moving small objects around on a table. Our Human… the Human for the Wandering Trader, Human Dai, plays by interacting with computer screens.
We have tried to understand this. We do not understand this. Human Dai appears to be having fun and relaxing, but… it looks so much like their shipboard duties that we have… concerns. It is necessary for a Human to have fun or they begin to suffer. If they suffer, we all suffer the consequences. We must look after our Human.
Companion Zogh was the one who chose a day to accompany Human Dai at his play, watching and attempting to analyse him at his play. Determining whether or not it actually was play. Human Dai’s chosen array of playing screens was large and colourful and the contents did not appear to match the usual Human entertainments of explosions and flashing colours. This was truly perplexing. “You do not make things go boom?” they asked.
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Challenge #02553-F363: Here There Be Sock Puppets
An enemy deathworlder, a xenophobe, constantly making life hell for the havenworlders around them. A general, proud, fierce, having suffered many tortures and never once broke, always escaped. But now, they were being held by humans. Pain meant nothing to them. When asked about the movements of new weaponry, the answer was always a snark and the spitting or words “Do your worst, I’ll never say a word, you’ll have to kill me.”
The humans bring in what they call the 3rd degree. Several gasping, saying that’s far too inhumane. How could they do that to any cognisant?? The humans reply they are running out of time and lives are at stake. The alien smirks, he’ll never break, ever, no matter how much they strike at him, surely that simple brown box holds sharp blades and poisons, right? Then, as the box opens to reveal a simple doll, a puppet caricature of a lamb, and it’s set right by the speaker leading into his prison, a song begins… “This is the song that never ends…it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, but they will keep on singing it forever just because… this is the song that never ends… it goes on and on…..” – Anon Guest
[AN: Thanks, Nonny, for the Youtube link to ten hours of that nonsense. I only watched one loop for curiosity’s sake so ner]
Good news, they captured a Vorax Ur-king. Great news, they potentially knew everything about his horde’s movements and plans. Bad news, the Ur-king wasn’t talking. They were closed-mouthed and arrogant with it. “I’ll never talk,” said the Ur-king, who wouldn’t even give their name. “You will not get any information about my horde or myself out of me. Waste all your resources. Try subjecting me to pain. Waste every minute of every day. Deprive me of anything you can think of. It would be faster to kill me.”
The attending Humans seemed unimpressed. The Havenworlders sighed and said, “Very well. Please remember that we did give you this chance.” Then they left the Ur-king alone in a room with two Humans, who started to smirk.
“Well, well, well, Mx Jones… They said they weren’t going to talk. We might as well skip ahead and subject them to Lambchop.”
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