Challenge #02580-G023: Just One
Human Bear was sitting on the ramp of his Bodge Job repairing a few new holes on one of the arms of his Live Suit courtesy of a particularly aggressive Predator on the planet they just left. When one of the Crew the creature thought looked like a tasty meal walked into the hanger to express this thanks, Stopped in his tracks at a human not sealed in his Protective Suit. He also noticed a very large very ugly looking scar that covered most of his upper Back.
Excitedly the Afro'ad asked about the Scar thinking he would get to hear another one of Human Bear’s Big Adventures. To his surprise the signature smile disappeared and a face the little creature had never seen before took its place.
“Some of my Stories don’t have Happy Endings, Little-one.” He said “You sure you want to hear it?” – Anon Guest
[AN: Harkens back to this thing ]
It’s not always the Deathworlders you gotta keep an eye on, Bear began, meditatively twiddling with his patched and repaired livesuit. Hell, even the frailest Havenworlders can pack the right kind'a punch if they have strategy. Not every planet has compatible enzymes and all. People like me? We go around thinking we’re indestructible.
No, it wasn’t Havenworlders like you. These were just… regular-ass citizens. Like anyone else in the Alliance. It was a disaster. Not a war. It was… it was an accident. Bear closed his eyes, as if fortifying himself against the muggers waiting in Memory Lane. Caught everyone by surprise. It was supposed to be a holiday.
I don’t think anyone knew the place was tectonically active. One of those little fly-by-night construction places. Instant resort, just add visitors, you know? Looks pretty, everything’s… well… functional. If nothing bad happens, nothing worse happens. They’re more all over the place than you might think. Ten minute scan versus in-depth analysis, you know? It’s legal, still, but it’s getting less legal, thank the Powers.
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Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?
You’re shit is an insult, you’re the shit is a complement. You’re not shit is a reassurance, and fuck this shit is not related to the previous phrases. – Anon Guest
Humans don’t have to be confusing, but they will frequently do it anyway. Their idioms, axioms, and expressions are many, varied, and assumed to be understood by everyone. This can hold true for some Human words, as well. Enormous papers have been written on the versatility of some of their ancient four-letter words.
One of the more popular was a synonym for excrement. It could describe the item itself, be descriptive of something awful, and simultaneously something awesome. It could be reassuring, and simultaneously derogatory. It’s truly versatile and also truly confusing for newcomers to Human interaction.
Human Dru has often been asked for clarification when the offensensitivity filters have replaced idiom with scientific terms and removed any kind of inflection that could help a casual listener. For example, someone using offensensitivity filters would hear hir saying things like, “I keep telling you, this [excrement] little trick is the [excrement]. Like, the ordinary way is like [intercourse] this [excrement], but it’s absolutely no [excrement] of anyone’s noses. The guy who told me about it? I called ‘em and told 'em, dude, you are not [excrement]. This thing is the [explosive]. It’s top [excrement].”
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Challenge #02578-G021: Spoil Them Good
Love me as an equal, and I will pay you back. Exist while I love you SO MUCH, and I will burn entire star systems for your sake. (humans and pets) – Anon Guest
Humans will pack-bond with anything, though the continually most mind-boggling example of this is Humans and inanimate objects. Second in that esteemed list is the non-cogniscent animals that Humans elect to share their space with and how intensely those creatures are spoiled.
The Humans themselves will put up with many discomforts. Some sell their passage on vessels as being ‘eminently adaptable’, but the one thing they insist upon is acceptable accomodation for their pets. The famous story concerning this is the plight of Human Tir, who had their berth dominated by accomodations for their cat, and slept in the closet that they had converted into a bedroom… which was also inevitably dominated by the cat.
Human Tir had the aforementioned bed, and one chair by a small workspace that they used for any relaxation or creativity activities when they were off duty. Any and all spaces there belonged primarily to a black cat with blue eyes that Human Tir had named 'Void’. The rest of the space, appropriate for a cogniscent of Tir’s size, was dominated by cat things. Cat beds, cat hammocks, cat toys, a water fountain, the mandatory litter tray, cat walkways, hider-boxes, cat-friendly greenery, and of course multiple cat food dispensers. This in spite of the fact that the Chief Decisions officer had noticed this and given Human Tir double quarters in the hopes that they would take some of the space for themself.
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Challenge #02575-G018: Gently, Gently
Two children have been good friends since the time they were in the same daycare together. They grew up as neighbors and even go to a mixed school. One child is a havenworlder, one child is a human. The human child is having a birthday party and has invited their best friend to the party. The parents need to have a long talk so it is fun and safe for all. – Anon Guest
When you grow up with something, that’s what normal is. Tan knew Lith as a friend who was always there. They had been in each other’s lives forever. Lith had learned how to be gentle with Tan before ze began to form permanent memories. Tan learned that Lith was strong before she could properly talk.
They were neighbours, and shared a backyard with nature, and it was always Lith who watched out for Tan, and Tan who found the really interesting and cool things they could both wonder at. They had fun together and enjoyed each other’s company. It was when they entered school that things changed. Havenworlders like Tan were kept apart from Deathworlders like Lith. It was a safety issue, since not everybody got to grow with a cool friend and neighbour like Tan.
When both friends wanted to share a party, some intense preparation had to come into play. Starting with a fortnight for the class, learning how to behave around Havenworlders, and the repeated phrase, “It’s hard to have fun when a friend is hurt.” Lith talked about hir friend and how they had fun together, and the entire class learned about Havenworlders and what they could tolerate.
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Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction
A havenworlder has a human as a godparent and they love to teach there godchild stuff like survival tips, human pop culture and other things the child’s parents would rather them not know. – Cheshire
Having a godparent, goodparent, or other form of honorary family member is such a Deathworlder concept. Grown Deathworlders are aware of the fragile nature of mortality and have culturally instituted the concept of spare parental figures. This comes in handy for Havenworlders who are, culturally speaking, just realising that the larger realms of space are not made to be nurturing and protected spaces. Having a theoretically-unstoppable gung-ho guardian for your progeny seemed like such a brilliant idea.
Such thoughts are the foundation stone of many epic outcomes. Most of them become legends that make the listener wonder if they’re supposed to think it’s a good idea or a bad one. For instance, Prrit had a Human goodparent, who they knew as Untee Gar. Their Untee visited frequently, and took them off on adventures.
Humans usually make excellent goodparents because they understand what frailer species can tolerate, and will avoid anything directly harmful. Thusly, Prrit grew up thinking ever Lyssoq was introduced to the same knowledge their Untee Gar taught them. Thusly, when they entered a more… formal schooling environment, there were surprises for everyone involved. Starting with the fact that little Prrit had absorbed wholesale the art of making and launching paper ‘wasps’.
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