Challenge #02340-F150: Situation Under Control
During an enemy attack on their cargo ship.
Human: “Be lucky you still have legs, because I collect those ! :-) ”
Alien Crewmate: “Can you please Stop quoting Isaak from Battleborn?”
Human: “It works though! Just look at those wannabe Pirates!!” – Anon Guest
There is a saying, Human is as Human does, and it has a multitude of meanings. In this case, the Human is one thin moral line away from outright sociopathy and psychopathy at the same time.
“You’re lucky you still have legs,” grinned Human Jon. “I collect those.” The delivery was right from the depths of the deepest nightmare, and made the would-be pirates retreat to the safety of their vessel all the faster. Leaving behind them a trail of semi-valuable items and, perhaps, personal effluvia as their fight or flight instincts kicked in.
Hyroq sighed at the rescue, knowing that Human Jon had a remarkable capability for acting. “Can you please stop doing that? It’s very disturbing.” Then, because he realised that was the point, he added, “To more than your intended audience.”
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Challenge #02337-F147: A Challenge Presents
The darkest place in the universe, as distinct to a black hole which traps light, is known as the the Nothingness, the Big Black or the Deep Dark.
Some species even Deified it as the ‘anti" to whatever particular flavour of saviour their belief systems held on high. and appropriately avoided such an abhorrent place. Officially it was called Boötes Void (a distinctly Human moniker, as only humans would NAME such a place)
So naturally the humans wanted to explore it.
The interesting thing wasn’t that they found anything, they didn’t, it was a VOID after all;
Rather it was exactly what humans can and will do with a Massive, completely empty, unclaimed, unregulated, space… – Adam in Darwin
There is nothing so fascinating to a Human as an empty space. Show them a gap, show them a void, show them something vacant of what they think should be there, and watch them go. They study it, they fill it, they come to stare at it, they go inside to see if it’s really as empty as they think it is… All of those and more. Nature may hate a vacuum, but Humans despise a void.
So it was when they encountered the Great Gap, a space between stars within the Octopus Galaxy. Humans swarmed, surrounding it in all three dimensions. Beaming transmissions through it, sending probes into it, working out how to traverse it, and soon running competitions to do so. The argument that there was no point to traversing the void, that travel via wormhole around it was quicker, made no impact on the Humans.
They never could resist a challenge, even one they had appointed themselves. Ever-increasing wealth in the prize pot became an irresistible temptation to the insane Deathworlders.
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Challenge #02335-F145: Non-Solutions
“We need options.”
“Well, I would say ‘kill them all’, but none of you ever remember it’s a joke.”
“HOW IS MASS MURDER A JOKE!?”
“How is mass murder NOT a joke when we’re not actually gonna do it?”
“Ok new rule, no more dark humor during meetings.” – Anon Guest
“This isn’t a meeting, it’s a tragedy in progress.”
“How is death possibly funny?”
“All of you. Can it for a sec’. We actually need a working plan,” Grax sighed as the Humans in the team held out their hands for a small coin. “Please.”
Human Stef said, “Business faces,” and the rest of them put their hands away and straightened up. “You gotta admit, boss. This is something of a comedy of errors. Mistakes were made, Humans are wont to find that funny. We’re trying to get over it, honest.”
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Challenge #02334-F144: Unexpected Testing Results
Due to the educational curriculum, I am unfortunately good at regurgitating information. Thus, my speaking patterns are about 90% references. – Anon Guest
Shayde didn’t like the SPOEns, mostly because they disturbed her on an emotional level. This was a pity because, as a group, they were among the few that could understand her. Rael, one of that select group, had to reflect that it was the fault of the pre-shattering education system of the late twentieth century.
Creeping featurism on a system designed in the era of steam had to mess kids up. The fact that Humanity hung onto it for an entire century after it was no longer necessary was a testimony to how ridiculous Humans could be. The advent of computerised assessment systems just made things worse.
It began with a need for clerks to do the paperwork. Thus, education focussed on having a neat hand and an ability to recite multiplication tables. A grounding in classical literature and the ability to comprehend the written word for nested information was also important to the managers of the era of steam. Then the world changed… War disrupted everything. Leaped technology forwards, and the system once reliable began to decay.
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Challenge #02333-F143: This is How a Heart Breaks Back
Human teenagers had terrible lives in their intergalaxy school. When humans joined to Galaxy Alliance they’re started to sending their children to schools on other planets. Well… Teenagers have been harassing and bullying without any kind of defence because “humans will always be barbarians and if they do something to someone is abuse and they should be held in cages like animals”. One time some Havenworlder starts to offend [name]. He choose wrong person. This was last time that anyone tried to piss of human teenagers. – Anon Guest
Integration is always a rough time. Just ask Ruby Bridges[1]. Of course, in the intervening centuries, assorted people have become more… subtle… about ostracising the different.
Imagine coming into a group of peers, every day, and having them feign being afraid of you. Imagine being unable to tell that they are feigning those fears. Imagine being singled out of shared classes because your mere presence causes upset. The teachers do not want to teach you. The administration wants to get rid of you, to shunt you away and declare integration a failure. They want to blame you, because you are the newest factor and the change is in correlation to your presence.
Imagine trying to handle all this at four years of age. Imagine continuing to handle it from there to the age of fourteen, when hormones and growth patterns both begin to do things to the body, to the brain, to the mind and heart and soul. Imagine all those stresses for an otherwise kind and gentle soul who has nevertheless held out hope against the face of it all that they could still make friends, in spite of all evidence to the contrary.
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