Daily OpusEverything I write is freely rebloggable. Just keep the source and tell people about my books :D [Until I decide otherwise, my pronouns are Ze/Hir/Hirself. As in "Ze went to the shops to get hir medication hirself". Thank you for the respect.]
A little over 8 years ago, a friend of mine, L (name redacted)
was hit by her scum-bucket boyfriend. It
wasn’t the first time he’d hit her, but it was the first time he’d hit her in
front of her best friend J. (name also redacted.) J objected to the abuse, you might say she
objected violently to the abuse (which is one of the reasons why the names are
redacted even if the statute of limitations should be up.)
After scum-bucket had fled the scene, J decided that L needed some more support, so she called every women she knew. Everyone available showed up to L’s apartment
with weapons and booze. Imagine if you will, around 30 women stuffed into a one-bedroom apartment comforting L and
passing around the drinks when someone spots scum-bucket’s car pulling into the
parking lot.
It was decided that a few ladies would stay in the apartment
with L while the rest of us when downstairs to confront scum-bucket and prevent
him from entering the building.
Now all of us ladies at that time happened to belong to the same theater group that
specialized in swashbuckling plays, lots of sword fights and the like. So, when I say we brought weapons, I mean we
brought things like broadswords, battleaxes, crossbows, rapiers and like.
So, scum-bucket gets out of his car and starts walking
across the parking lot only to spot 25 or so heavily armed women marching out
of the building, raising their weapons and charging at him while screeching
like furies.
Scum-bucket had a pretty good sense of self-preservation and
the sight of us was inspiring. He ran
back to the car and peeled out of the parking light like the hounds of hell
were at his heels and I suppose we were.
Anyhow, L never heard from him again. Eventually, she and J started dating and they’ll
have been married for 5 years next September.
Low strength, very low dex, low constitution, high intelligence, low wisdom, godlike charisma
Is capable of doing anything a PC can do (climb/intimidate/bluff/etc) but with disadvantage on anything that would be difficult or impossible for a dog.
A loyal dog that follows the party. No one knows where it came from. It does its best to help the party, but it only knows a few generic commands. They are:
Sit: Perfectly Ordinary Dog sits. Leave It: Perfectly Ordinary Dog disengages from all opponents. Shake: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Earthquake. Come: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Teleport on itself to move directly next to the person who issues the command. Stay: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Turn to Stone on itself. The effect lasts until Perfectly Ordinary Dog is told otherwise. Speak: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Speak With Animals on itself. In addition to the spell effects, it removes disadvantage from all rolls involving speech (bluff, etc.) Sing: Perfectly Ordinary Dog uses Bardic Performance. Heel: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Cure Light Wounds on the most injured party member within range. Down: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Gate and summons a portal to a random netherworld dimension.
The PCs do not know about any of Perfectly Ordinary Dog’s abilities and must find them out via trial and error.
You know. It’d explain a lot if dragon eggs were this impenetrable substance that only could break down and safely release the fledgling if it was sufficiently surrounded by gold. And for centuries dragons just needed to dig down and find a gold vein in the mountains, and they’d return and return and return to the same area, up until human were like: hey, we have no actual use for this super soft inert metal, but we like it, so it’s ours now.
And the dragons were then forced to go: hello! I see your capitalist nightmare society is hoarding gold because it decided it had value for no reason. We need it for actual reasons. We would like ti back now.
Humanity: We sort of based our entire value system off it? So no?
Dragons: But you aren’t using it and we need it.
Humanity: Sweet. Can you pay us for it?
Dragons: Do you accept UNENDING FIRE TERROR as payment?
So humanity was just like: ooh noooo. The dragons just like sleeping on top of gold for no reeeeason. They stole all of it because they are just terrible and greedy. So terrible. Our gold. Oh no. We need it. For richness. Oh nooooooo. You have to save us then you can be rich too.
Barry asked Lup to marry him in cycle 50. In later years, a part of him would wish that this moment, a culmination of their love that was decades in the making, was less innocuous. He didn’t plan to do it. There was no ring, no grand romantic gesture. There was just the two of them, lying in bed one sleepy morning.
“I love you, Lup,” he said, tracing his hands gently down her back, her arms. “I wish I could tell the whole world how much I love you. The whole planar system. I wish I could just stand up in front of everyone and just make them see how much I love you…” He sat up suddenly, an idea occurring to him, and Lup made a disgruntled noise at having her source of warmth taken away.
“Wait, we can do that last one!” Barry realized excitedly. “Holy shit, Lup, do you wanna get married?” And of course, Lup said yes with the zeal and fervor that she agreed to anything, and especially anything to do with her bluejeans-clad boyfriend.
And just a few months later, they were married. Taako always teased them about the fact that it had taken them decades and decades to get together, but just three years after that to get hitched. At any rate, the wedding was perfect, at least to them. Magnus spent weeks building a gazebo in a forest clearing, and they had a little ceremony with just the seven of them. It was beautiful, and neither Lup nor Barry got through their vows without crying, and afterwards they celebrated long into the night, the new couple’s faces flushed bright with a happiness that they had never quite matched before. So, when the end of that year came and they had to watch the plane get consumed by the Hunger, Lup felt a deep sadness in the pit of her stomach. This was their plane, and… it was gone. Barry noticed this, as he always noticed things to do with Lup. So the first thing that he did when they returned to their recorded states was ask Lup to marry him. Only since they technically weren’t married on this plane, he explained hurriedly to Lup’s look of confusion. And of course, Lup said yes, throwing her arms around him and kissing him long and hard until Taako groaned loudly in disgust.
After that, it became a bit of a tradition. Arrive on a new plane, get married once again. Some things always stayed the same. Taako walked her down the aisle. Merle officiated, or Cap’n’port when the former had gone to Parley early in the year. Magnus cried. But it was always a little different. Sometimes they got married planetside, on a beach or at the peak of a gorgeous mountain or in a cave filled with strange, luminous plants. Other times, when the plane was too inhospitable, the ceremony took place on the Starblaster itself. One long, dark cycle, Barry died just a few weeks in, and there was no wedding that year. But one other thing remained the same throughout every cycle, every iteration of their love, and that was the look on Lup’s face as she walked down the aisle, as if even after all this time she could hardly believe that this was actually happening. That was the smile that Barry gave her when she reached the altar, so soft that she could see the love practically exploding out of him.
And so, when the Hunger was defeated and they were all reunited once again, Lup wasn’t exactly surprised when Barry got down on one knee and proposed. “For the last time,” he told her, and as always, Lup said yes. And Lup didn’t realize it at the time, but this wedding was to be different from any of the others. This time, it wasn’t just the seven of them sharing this moment. An entire planar system had heard their story, had shared their love, just like Barry wanted when he asked her to marry him for the very first time. This time, when she turned to face the guests at the wedding, the seats were packed with the faces of friends and family, and even some people who she didn’t know at all. It should have been overwhelming, but somehow it wasn’t. Lup was filled to bursting with the sheer amount of love that filled the room, and the realization that for the first time, this really was for forever.
