“I think we can say the small heater is a winner,” said Koko’s new boy, Kravitz. He was apparently Human, but his species didn’t matter any more since The Big Spell. “The little skulls on my nails look amazing.”
Sno knew differently. Kravitz wasn’t Human. Not any more. Kravitz was an undead soldier for the Raven Queen, who used to be out after Koko’s ass. Which was why she was waiting in the stairwell, just out of Koko’s view. Definitely out of Kravitz’s, since he only had eyes for her adopted baby brother.
“Yeah, I can totes feel the difference,” said Koko. He must have been holding Kravtiz’s hand. “Do you really have to work? There’s this new pasta place that opened up a few blocks down. They serve wine to anyone over thirty…”
A small laugh, “Well, I do like wine,” he allowed. “I’ll take a rain check on the pasta place. Call you when I’m safe?”
“I’d love for you to do that,” cooed Koko.
They spent a few more minutes on pointless smalltalk. Obviously smitten. Then Kravitz finally started descending the stairs.
Sno pounced, blocking off his physical egress, even though she’d seen him tear portals in reality in order to get to the Astral Plane. “Kravitz,” she said. “A word?”
“I… kind of have an appointment,” he hedged.
“You put it off to make goo-goo eyes at Koko, you can put it off to answer one question.”
“Fair,” he said. “One question. Then I have to go.”
“What are your intentions with my baby brother?”
His face was an open book with large print and it said, Oh shit, it’s the Shovel Talk… and his dark face went slightly darker around the cheeks. “Um,” he said. “I know, we didn’t get off to the best start, but… there’s… there’s something extraordinary about Koko. I want… I want to make sure he’s okay. I want to see him happy. I want to make sure he’s got the good life if he deserves. I want… I want the best of everything for him.”
Yeah, he had it bad. It’d likely be more than a few years before he admitted it, though. “Even if that doesn’t include you?”
Sigh. “Yeah. Even if that doesn’t include me.” He touched his eye. stared in confusion at the wetness he found there. “Koko can tell me to fuck off any time he likes, but… he keeps asking me back.”
“He likes you. The last dude he liked… wasn’t nice.” A succinct and completely inaccurate summary of Sazed “that pedophilic bastard” Baker.
“I heard,” said Kravitz. “Nobody deserves someone like that happening to them. If I could, I’d… I’d join the queue.”
Sno stepped aside, letting Kravitz pass. “I know I can’t kill you, but if you hurt Koko, I’ll fucking die trying.”
“Ma’am? I’d rather kill myself than hurt Koko.”
Okay. That was a grudging pass.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
Koko met the newest addition to the apartment as he was descending the stairs. The little kid was wide eyes under a mop of dark brown hair. “Wooooowww… How’d you get your nails to do that?”
What was not to love about a little kid who introduced himself like that? Koko was ten, this kid was seven. He was way so much more mature than this kid. “It’s nail polish, kiddo. You like?”
“Yeah! They’re so pretty. Can you do that to anyone? Can you do that to me?”
How could he possibly refuse that enthusiasm. “Sure thing, holmes. What colour do you like?”
“There’s more than one?” The little dude was gobsmacked. “How many can I have?”
“Sweetie, you can have the whole rainbow and then some,” he patted Lulu on the shoulder. “You go on and get the stuff. I got me a manicure appointment.”
“I’ll make sure to forget the garlic,” sniped Lulu.
Koko couldn’t flick her a rude gesture, not with a baby present. Therefore, he sang down, “I’ll just leave the chilli sauce out when I cook…”
That argument dismissed, Koko lead the kid up to his flat. “So you’re with the Burnsides’, right? Mag… Maggie…”
“Magnus,” said Magnus. “I’m seven.”
Cute. Koko got into his own supply of polish and set up on the stairs so the kids’ folks could find him. The last thing he needed was Mom getting into trouble because Koko was futzing about with glamour.
Magnus opted for the entire rainbow, followed by silver, rainbow confetti, and holographic shimmer for the last three of his ten. It all took a while and Magnus was over the moon about it. Johaan Burnsides found them just as Koko was finishing up Magnus’ final pinkie.
“Oh, so here’s where you went.”
“Hey, Mr Burnsides. Your kid liked my nails, so…”
Magnus held up his hands. “I’m a rainbow!”
“Oh, that’s adorable. You wanna maybe show me how to do all that?” Johaan asked. “I get the feeling we’re gonna be doing this a lot.”
Koko smiled. “Well, I’m gonna need to replace the supplies, so… you know… a little pocket money wouldn’t hurt…”
“Twenty bucks and I throw in a gig for your mom’s birthday.”
“Sold!”
Mom found him, hours later, giving careful instructions to the Burnsides, including hints and tips, about how to do nails. Magnus studiously colouring Avi’s nails NWPD Blue, whilst Koko was doing a more complicated finish for Johaan’s digits.
“Prettying up the world?” she said.
“One finger at a time, mom.” Koko had to grin. “What can I say? I’m a genius.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 0]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
[AN: I can certainly try]
Every day, Barclay had a good reason to curse the name of Ned Fuckin’ Chicane. That good reason was Agent “up your ass” Stern. Hanging out at the lodge, investigating things. Asking questions. Being underfoot.
“What does everyone do around here?”
(Try to pretend to have everyday lives.)
“What’s with the menu? Is it normal to have this much variety?”
(So many Sylphs had special diets, it was easier just to have those options available.)
“Man, I love those springs. I feel so energised whenever I’ve used them. What’s the secret?”
(Barclay made up some bullshit about trace minerals.)
So, in desperation, Barclay was taking Agent Stern around Kepler for a sightseeing spree. The active waterparks, the inactive ones where some of the kids went to skate. The local all-in-one takeout place. The general store. The stores that weren’t so general and were -generally- a place for the local hobbyists to keep their completed works.
And, of course, the Cryptonomica.
Barclay knew damn well that the “unedited footage” in the Cryptonomica - available for a fee - was heavily edited to remove any footage that could be plausibly used forensically. Kirby had added digital ‘snow’ to the cuts so that they looked like something hit the camera and caused a flaw.
Stern watched it four times.
Barclay couldn’t stand to watch it once. He hated being photographed even with his Seeming on. Being caught as Bigfoot, even with Ned’s shaky photography, was worse than excruciatingly embarrassing. Worse, there was only so much time he could spend staring at all of Chicane’s fake bullshit exhibits.
Stern finally emerged. “Amazing. Amazing. That has to be the best footage I’ve ever seen.”
Barclay kept his voice low. “You know it’s all fake, right?”
Stern frowned. “I know most Bigfoot films are faked,” he allowed. “This is the most realistic footage I’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah, costumes are amazing, these days. Ned’s quite the artist. Look at this,” he pointed to the mummified remnants of some mythical creature in a case. There were no other rubes around, but he still kept his voice to a whisper. “Looks real, right?”
“It is impressive…”
“Chicken bones, A little plaster. A lot of toilet paper, and some latex. Paint and low light does the rest. I can show you how to make ‘em.” It was a good thing he knew, too. He could make a very convincing copy.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I can even show you how he turned a cheap-ass Star Wars costume into that realistic-looking Sasquatch you were just drooling over.”
That was a beginning of something interesting. Something… Barclay might have regretted if he’d had the foresight to see it.
Barclay had a little workshop in an out-of-the-way space off the beaten path of Kepler proper. In it, he had all sorts of things that the old team had used to use for disguises and suchlike. He had absorbed most of the skills by osmosis and, in a pinch, could claim that it had been a few years since he’d applied those skills.
He never anticipated Stern having fun with it.
There were two projects, to begin with. The Sasquatch from Wookie, and the Mummified Thing. They were weeks at it. Adding convincing fur to the wookie costume, retooling the feet and adding extra internal structure to add height.
The Mummified Thing involved gathering or making interesting bones, and destroying any joints that might give the game away. Building up the layers of fake anatomy had them pressing their heads together over the fine details and finding things to laugh about.
He never expected to bond with the man. He certainly hadn’t expected to fall, ever so slowly, in love.
Every day, Barclay had good reason to bless the name of Ned Fuckin’ Chicane…
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 1]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
Magnus honestly did not mean to perv. He had successfully avoided glancing at Elven anatomy for three adventures, so far. It was here in this tiny space, changing into their null suits, that his gaze drifted onto what Taako happened to call underwear.
Those were not Fantasy MeUndies. They were panties. Definitely panties. Frilly, lacy, expensive-ass panties.
Well sure, he knew Taako was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide, but still… panties were a little bit of a shock, all things considered.
“Checking me out, there, lugnuts?” Taako teased.
Magnus went redder than his null suit. Nevertheless, he fought to maintain some kind of composure. “Aw come on. Y’all’ve seen me with my dick out.”
“Much to my regret. You’re furrier than the gorillas in the Fantasy Congo.” Taako, still wrestling with getting his suit open, turned around, revealing that there was a printed lipstick kiss over his crotch and -yes- little satin bows with zero purpose. “See anything you like, there?”
Magnus couldn’t help himself. “I gotta have a pair of those for the next Midsummer Fair. Complete the look from the skin out.”
Taako pretended to retch whilst Magnus helped him open up his null suit. “Puh-leez. As if I’d assault my complete aesthetic with your hairy ass.”
“You didn’t mind my hairy ass in Goldcliff.”
Merle, fighting with how to do his suit back up, said, “I thought we agreed we were never going to mention that again.”
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 29 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter, grand larceny, panic attacks, drug use, and Taako plays Magnus’ ass like the bongos.
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 28 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter: Koko gets some therapy, falls deeper in love, and decides to enjoy life. Lulu feeds some ducks and decides not to be an asshole to her brother.
I have been informed I should give love, props, credit, and cookies to @sealbatross for this amazing video.
This is so much hard work and you should be proud, friendo.
Tumbl'd 3: Forever TAZ - Chapter 27 - InterNutter - The Adventure Zone (Podcast) [Archive of Our Own]
In this chapter: The path of true love is paved with the burning thorns of ABJECT EMBARRASSMENT… and a little sibling revenge.
[AN: To save on archive trawling, that one is this thing.]
They came the day after someone else had cleaned up all the mess. The nice thing about putting a new being into the world was that nobody expected much out of you for, like, weeks. On the other hand, hachi machi, it fuckin’ hurt.
Yet all of that was worth it for the incredibly tiny bean nestled in the crook of his arm. Sound asleep and unaware of everything but his Apa’s scent and heartbeat. At least until the invading horde came in.
“Please be quiet. If you wake the baby, we will literally kill you,” warned Krav.
Magnuts entered first, followed my Merle “plantfucker” Highchurch. Tailing behind them was Lup and Barold. All on stocking feet, all in breathless wonderment.
“Oh my gods…” whispered Mango. “Is it baby Angus or baby Lulu?”
Taako was still wiped out, but being catered to hand and foot was helping him rally magnificently. “Meet baby Angus, literally born yesterday.”
A little hand stretched outwards and Mango intercepted it with his finger. That tiny new hand couldn’t reach around Magnus’ meaty digit. Amazingly, this caused the big lug to cry.
“…’s so smol…” he whimpered.
“Yeah, that’s completely normal,” growled Merle, barely remembering to keep his voice down. “What, you expected him to come out instantly ten years old?”
“Oof, gods no,” mumbled Taako. “This was more than enough of a job to get out. I still feel tender.”
“Everyone goes gaga for babies,” Merle complained. “Or should I say ‘googoo gaga for babies…”
Lup just crawled up on the bed with them. “Aaaw… lookit those stiff little half-Elf ears… Do they wiggle and jiggle when he has a little drinkie?”
“What’s the point? There’s babies born every day. Thousands of them. Hundreds of thousands…”
“You’re not stealing my baby, Lulu. You and Barold can make your own.”
“Babies every gods-damned where…”
She glared at him, in between careful strokes of that exposed arm. “How the fuck did you manage to do this before I could?”
“And every single time, oooh, they’re so small…”
“Jealous?”
“…oooh they’re so tiny…”
Lup looked away from him, but couldn’t stop looking at Angus. “…yes.”
“Like you’d want a Fantasy Green Bay Linebacker to pop out?”
“Well… both of us thought it wouldn’t happen, so precautions went out the window and… you know how everyone was in a mood after we won the war…” He shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t attached to the arm holding his baby. “It happened anyway. Will of Istus, I dunno.”
“There’s only so much room, up in there, what the fuck do you expect?”
“Istus should’a given me one, too.”
“Why is it so Pan-damned surprising every single time?”
“You didn’t have a body at the time.”
Angus whimpered. Just a single note of complaint, but it was enough to make the whole room freeze. The whole room except Krav, who got to do the changing and, if things were particularly messy, the bathing as well.
He zoomed in and hovered, watching their son intently. “Is it almost time for Daddy to come to the rescue?” he cooed. “Does my little baby boy want some Daddy cuddles?”
Angus smacked his tongue and remained asleep.
Krav did not deflate. “I made a beautiful baby,” he said, apropos of nothing. “All that hard work was worth it.”
Taako glared at him. He’d been like that for Angus’ entire life so far. “You know,” he said, “as I recall, bone daddy, I was the one doing the hard work. You were just… circling like a vulture.”
“And taking you to prenatal checks, and making sure you had the right nutrition,” Krav added. “And giving you massages and looking after you and taking care of the catbox so you didn’t have to. And I bought us all that baby stuff.”
Taako sighed. “You did, but I still maintain that that wasn’t as much hard work as growing and birthing this little nugget.”
Angus released Magnus’ finger and let out a more determined whimper. Magnuts almost leaped away and said, “I didn’t do it.”
“Now he wants Daddy,” sighed Taako. He helped with the transfer and slumped back into the pillows. He looked imploringly at his sister. “Are you sure you want your own? It’s a rough gig.”
“I’ll take two dozen like that one,” she insisted. “Poop, crying, and territorial husband boasting included.”
Barold, so far quiet and out of the way, turned bright red. He had been married to Lup for fifty worlds, in love with her for over a century, directly in her aura for literal decades, and he still blushed like a choirboy every time her lust was pointed in his direction.
“Good luck,” said Taako. They were going to need it.
[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]
I would have to listen to Amnesty at least a couple of times so I can get the ‘voice’ right. And get the continuity cemented into my noggin.
Like: right now, I have headcanons based entirely off the teaser portion of the Amnesty arc and plotlines that DO NOT MESH with the extended version. Like… I could likely do it, but the result might be a lot more wobbly than my Balance fics.
[I actually did a crossover with the Stolen Century that ‘returned’ Elves to the Amnesty worlds and had other shenanigans, like a talking Dr Harris Bonkers, PhD… and I do believe Tumbl Into TAZ has exactly one Amnesty fic]
That said - I go where my prompts take me and I try my best regardless.