Reblog
Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend
- So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist
- We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.
- I love Kat dearly
- but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile
- so one day she throws her back out
- bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright
- “But also I needed Tampons and like. A Burrito, real bad.”
- she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this
- and, in an
- impeccable
- leap of reasoning, decides
- “I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.
- But I can ARCH my back just fine.
- SO
- I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,
- And amble on down to the 7-11”
- “And get me that Burrito”
- It is,
- for context,
- after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.
- Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.
- Whatever.
- Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.
- Fucking around in the burrito section
- It’s also worth mentioning that Kat
- 1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention
- 2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so
- tonight’s song is something from veggietales.
- DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND
- and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway
- Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons
- She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire,
- exactly
- how she used the shelves to climb up the counter
- like one of the boston robotics beasties
- dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.
- “Register’s broke.”
- “Oh No!” Says Kat.
“Just Take ‘em.”
“Really? I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.”
“…Nah.”
“Oh! OK! Thank you!”
“Yeah ok bye.”- Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11.
- It took her
- FOUR
- FUCKING
- YEARS
- to realize she was the suspicious individual
(via dragonsatmidnight)
now go! enjoy your blogging free of worry and obligation. i will defend you and keep you safe from harm. *:･ﾟ✧
{♚} saw this post and was inspired to draw this.I always reblog this cos I know ppl who have anxiety around stuff like that who find this helpful (anxiety’s not always rational, & even ppl superinformed about how magic works etc can get nasty intrusive surges of shit from seeing those posts from time to time!)
What the guy above said, and also this is adorable.
(via itbespacegays)
I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT
I love these. And I love how she’s in a really blatant sex position but artists are like look at this art genre I can do and be super creative. It’s so cool. I wish I could draw.
Heheheheheh
(via annoyed-claude)