Challenge #01671-D210: Don’t Kill Us Yet
In the immortal words of Genghis Khan: “U Wot M8?” – @recklessprudence
The Doctor slowly turned their head to glare at their new companion.
“What?” said Kylie.
“All of time and space. All of existence. All of… everything… and you take the first opportunity to tell a historically inaccurate joke.”
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Pardon me while I get this off my chest…
Now that an actress has been chosen as The Doctor, there’s a whole lot of childish whining about how loads of people’s childhoods have been “stolen” or “ruined” by the choice to play a functionally immortal shapeshifting time traveller. The word ‘realistic’ has been bandied about a lot for some reason.
I’m going to make a prediction.
For the entirety of Ms Whittaker’s run as The Doctor, the anti-SJW, MRA, Status Quo babies will be like “I hate her I hate her I hate her the next doctor has to be a MAN or else we’re going to do massacres because it just makes sense,” [and other threats, let’s be real, they’re really throwing a tantrum after one minute of seeing her face. Imagine how an entire episode is going to make them spew glass] and so on.
The BBC will be like: “Okay.”
[Credit: IMDB]
And the ASJW/MRA/SQ set will cry, “No, not like that!” and spew radioactive glass.
…and I will get death threats just because this post.
Just remember: I fucking called it.
Challenge #01646-D185: Two Big Tells
I’ve only ignored a wise and powerful being saying “are you sure you want to do that?” once in all my lives, and I regretted it for the rest of that existence. On the other hand, ignoring it from beings who may be powerful, but only _think_ they’re wise? Done that dozens of times. The trick is telling the difference. – @recklessprudence
Since they were at the mercy of a seemingly wise and powerful being, Holly leaned over to whisper in the Doctor’s ear. “And you’re sure you’ve got the trick of being able to tell… right?”
“I said I only did it once,” murmured the Doctor.
“There’s always a second time, isn’t there?”
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Challenge #01622-D161: An Unlikely Misadventure
“I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?” – @recklessprudence
“We’re on a steam-powered space ship,” said the Doctor. “Something has to be on fire or it wouldn’t be working.” He didn’t look at Kev. He was more interested in the pipes and valves that seemed to make up a majority of the corridor decor. He was busy trying to work out what they were for and where they went.
“Yes, but… theoretically… If the wrong thing was on fire… is there one?”
“Steam. Powered. Space ship. There should be one on every corner. But there isn’t. Why?”
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Challenge #01576-D115: Ass-umptions
“It must be jelly, ‘cause jam don’t shake like that!” – Anon Guest
“You haven’t seen Great-Aunt Hattie’s jam,” said Holly, peering at the substance. “It smells a bit. I wouldn’t want to try eating it.”
“Good thought,” said the Doctor. “It might be alive.”
Holly backed away. “Are you serious? That?”
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Challenge #01574-D113: Not So Nice and Quiet
There was a beach, with a gentle swell and white sand. A beautiful forest glade was behind them, and a gentle creek burbled to the ocean. It looked the most tranquil place in the universe…. – Anon Guest
“I don’t like it,” said the Doctor, side-eyeing a stand of picturesque stones.
“Wrong colour?” teased Holly.
“It’s peaceful. Just the right temperature. Perfect weather. The right amount of breeze. Even the susurration of the ocean and the forest leaves is at just the right harmonic to put any sapient life into a state of perfect relaxation. Even the sand…” he bent to scoop some up. Poured it from one hand to the other. “Have you seen sand that’s so white?”
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Challenge #01571-D110: Lost With a Blue Box
:When summing up recent events:
The tree does seem to be suspiciously friendly and sane for an ancient being or ancient artefact, let alone both in one. Even the only other vaguely sane ancient being, the balloon-jellyfish godling, wasn’t this friendly until she was punched in the face a few times and given a pretty good Shut Up, Hannibal speech by a sapient brain tumor, and she doesn’t seem to have been nearly as old.
…that was a weird sentence. – @recklessprudence
It wasn’t every day that a companion went and rescued herself. And it was even less often that they turned up with allies. The Doctor looked over the motley crew. There was a brain in a tank/mecha body that seemed to be completely taken over by a tumour, a gigantic tree with a face, and a floating thing that looked like the unlikely progeny of a jellyfish and a dirigible.
“Well done, Holly,” said the Doctor. “I know I warned you about wandering off, so… how…?” he circled a finger at the general assembly. “This station is millions of years old. None of them should be alive.”
The tree creaked something that could have been words, but it seemed wont to hold Holly like some kind of treasured doll.
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Challenge #01489-D028: One Hazy Mid-afternoon in an East Sussex Hospital Ward
“She has amnesia,”
“_Thank god!_”
“What?”
“…I-I said, THAT’S TERRIBLE! ” – OohLookShiny
Nurse Blakely wasn’t fooled for an instant. She had seen what had happened to Miss Doe. Helped patch up the damage. “You sound like you know how September Doe got her injuries, Mr…” she checked her notes, “Smith.”
“First, her name is Holly Buckley. Second, it’s my job to keep her safe. Third… I really failed this time. And it involved some werewolves. Well. Three werewolves, a volcano, and a bag of crisps.”
“Crisps,” echoed Nurse Blakely.
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Challenge #01450-C355: To Save the World
“I picked you up, even when you were covered in slime after he spat you out! You were technically vomit, and you were still the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on!” – Anon Guest
“It’s a good thing you told me about the uvula,” she allowed, “but… a thing? Really?”
“Only by base technicality, dear,” cooed Blasingstoke. “You are a machine.”
Miss Cliq sighed at him. “Fine. You get away with it for now. No more objectifying cogniscents.”
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Challenge #01418-C323: The Button
“You should have told me what that button did.”
“You shouldn’t have pressed it!”
“I wouldn’t have pressed it if i knew what it did!” – OohLookShiny
“Just. Why?” said Holly.
“It was big and red and said don’t touch on it,” said the Doctor. “You can’t understand what a raw temptation that is.”
“Maybe there was a reason it was like that,” argued Holly. “You don’t touch big red buttons that tell you not to touch them.”