elijahelegia:

only the true king could remove the sword from the stone…. no one else could…… they didn’t have…. arthurization

(Source: gloamglozergay, via youve-doomed-us-all-jerk)

neurodivergent-crow:

bettabbys:

Hello smol

Axolittl

Storytime, Kids!

talvin-muircastle:

It was Halloween at the Emergency Room, and they were mostly seeing the usual: kids got hit by cars (thankfully none seriously), people wanting their candy x-rayed (when we have time, maybe), alcohol poisoning (thought this was a holiday for kids?), kid threw up from eating too much candy (yeah, the ER is great for that, not), and the usual nonsense.

A patient was brought in, an adult in his early 30s, unconscious, feverish, sweating, rash.  He was dressed in all black, with a black “pirate shirt”, black tight pants, black boots, black wide-brimmed hat, black bandana-mask with eyeholes.  Prop fencing sword.   One of the Interns was looking him over while a Nurse checked his vitals.   The Head of Emergency Medicine stuck his head in, looked over the patient, and suddenly grabbed the Intern and pulled him out into the hallway.

“Move this guy to Quarantine, STAT!  I want a list of everyone who has had contact with him!  Contact Epidemiology, tell them we need them down here in biohazard suits and we need them five minutes ago!  If we move fast, we might be able to contain this!”  

The poor Intern was confused, “Doctor, I…I mean, I know he looks sick, but why all the urgency?  What’s wrong?”

The other Doctor’s face hardened, and he pointed firmly back into the room. “Dammit, man, don’t you understand?  This man is Patient Zorro!”  

the-introvertedleo:

Omfg…

shaiza:

shaiza:

tilthat:

TIL a Paralyzed Man Recently Walked After Having His Nose Cells Transplanted Into His Spinal Cord

via reddit.com

Call that a [JOKE PENDING]

Call that Nose Encounters of the Hurt Spine

(via geekyday)

youve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for

squeeful:

mememaster:

times new ramen

I sent this to my mom and she got so mad at me she sent me an audio recording of her yelling.

(via chaoswolf1982)

thebibliosphere:

paigethefiremage:

agentphilcoulsonmemes:

peoriarhetoriapeoria:

persian-slipper:

140-cloves-of-garlic:

dailybadjokes:

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids.

I’m a faux pa.

@a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy

@copperbadge

, I’ve found a new title for you.

@agentphilcoulsonmemes

It’s true.

@thebibliosphere

@ ETD it you :D

(Source: daily-bad-jokes)

justbadpuns:

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose

(Source: justbadpuns, via copperplatescript)

totallyrandomstuffbyme:

(Source: totallyrandomstuffbyme-blog)

asurnasurpal:

strangelypensieve:

trouserweasel:

trouserweasel:

LOOK THEY ACTUALLY DO HAVE TOASTERS WITH LITTLE WINDOWS SO YOU CAN WATCH YOUR FOOD GET TOASTED

it looks like toast jail

They’ve been taken into crustody…

#CRUSTODY

(via empress-v-bee-blog)