catchymemes:

Catastrophe

(via huppupbup)

artbymoga:

rose-owl:

Death flashed before my eyes

THAT CAPTION

(Source: spicyhorror, via sigmabunny)

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

out-to-get-us:

writing-in-the-grave:

Hey y'all why are writers always cold?

…why?

They’re always surrounded by drafts!

How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh god.

How many?

Two! One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end!

What do writers have for breakfast?

Coffee?

Synonym buns!

Where do all the struggling writers live?

How are you coming up with all these?

Where?

Writer’s Block!

What do writers suffer from each spring?

(I’ve heard a lot of them over the years.)

Allergies. Next question.

you were close; A case of allegories

Why are writers always in great shape?

Circular prose

Nope! It’s because we’re always running out of ideas!

Did you hear about the famous writer who turned out to be a fraud?

I did not

His life had it’s prose and cons…

Why is editing a better job than writing?

It’s more rewording?

(via interstellarvagabond)

natsumiyamasaki:

first-lady-of-infinity:

badjokesbyjeff:

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.

Oof

I had to stop, look up from my phone, and take a deep breath before reblogging.

Ok you’re free to go this time Jeff… this time

(via salamander-shaming)

badjokesbyjeff:

There was an old man who lived by a forest.

As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

“What I want you to do,” the man continued, “is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”

So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

(via the-barefoot-hatter)

hellenhighwater:

pipistrellus:

when ppl act like leaving gifts for fairies is to get the fairies’ attention so they’ll be kind to you~~ when really leaving gifts for fairies is the supernatural equivalent of a mafia protection racket

gotta pay off the Mab

(via faireladypenumbra)

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

sweaterkittensahoy:

allteenhumor:

I M LIVID

Everyone go home. Puns are done.

(via spacemuffinz)

(Source: dadjokeshq)

(Source: punstars)

(Source: currentsinbiology)