Spring Carnival was a time for celebration. Wearing flowers, dancing, bright colours and any excuse for fireworks was a good one in Taako’s mind. Fresh fruit and feasting and a good dance or three to shake off any lingering winter funk.

He had flowers in his hat and woven into his hair, wearing something bright and flowy and sparkly enough to attract any jackdaws that might be living on the moon.

Everyone was having a good time. Even “permanent bummer” Johann was smiling as he played a lively tune for the carnival crowds.

Well. Almost everyone. His apprentice wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Taako checked the rides, the food stalls, the games of skill and cunning… Nowhere at all. Which struck Taako as kind of odd. When he was a kid, he leaped at the chance to be in on the big parties. Spring festival, harvest festival, candlenights, you name it. He was all over the place and gorging himself on sweet treats.

Yet Angus wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Come to think of it, he’d been conspicuously absent during Candlenights as well, only turning up for the presents and beating a hasty retreat as the party came to a crashing halt.

Now he was nowhere to be seen during Spring Carnival, too. Something, therefore, had to be up. Taako grabbed a go-box of commissary chicken soup, almost as good as his own and a flower crown and headed off to Ango’s little flat.

Ango answered the door.

“Oh, so you’re not sick,” said Taako. “And here I am with chicken soup, looking ridiculous.” He swanned in, leaving the flower crown on the kid’s head, and added the box to Ango’s Fantasy Refrigerator. “What’s your excuse this time, then?”

Angus was untangling the crown from his curls. “Excuse, sir?”

“You were barely there for Candlenights, and now you’re playing possum for Spring Carnival. What the fuck? It’s free food and all the rides you can eat out there.”

“Oh, I just… prefer to stay in for the holidays, sir.”

Taako felt his brow. Nope. Not feverish. “You’re a child. Holidays were made for children.”

“I’m of adult age in some circles, sir.”

“Yeah, Gerblins and Kobolds’ circles. What’s the real dirt, D’angus? Dish.”

Shrug. “It’s just… stressful, sir.”

“Stressful,” echoed Taako. “Candy apples and roller coasters is stressful?”

“No, sir, it’s all the yelling and fighting.” Angus realised what he’d just oh-so-casually said and clapped his hands over his mouth. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that. My parents would be mad. They work so hard on getting things right for the holidays, it’s totally my fault I add to that by getting underfoot all the time…”

Taako raised an eyebrow. “Keep digging, you might reach Fantasy China.”

“Wait,” said Angus. “That’s not normal?” He almost had the flower crown free of his head.

Taako re-seated the thing on his head. “No arguing or fighting out there, homie. If you want, I could escort you around so you can see for yourself.”

“I-I-I’m not… I don’t– I’m not sure…”

Taako gripped his skinny shoulder and bent down to his eye level. “Sooner or later, you have to face your fears, kiddo. Face them, or they’ll face you.”

Angus made a face. “Isn’t that the opposite of know when to cut and run, sir?”

“It’s a corollary,” Taako allowed. “C’mon. I’ll be your bodyguard and you can tap out when you’re feeling gross. Deal?”

Angus said, “Deal,” and took Taako’s arm.

Twenty minutes into the carnival, the kid forgot about his death grip on Taako’s arm. In another half hour, he was off and having fun on his own.

Taako kept an eye on him anyway. It just wouldn’t do to have his apprentice have a meltdown in public view.

That’s what he told himself, and that’s what he’d tell anyone who was invasive enough to ask.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 8]

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It was the Conjoined Twin Act without the special shoe and the bespoke leggings. And more swearing and bickering, which always drew a laugh. Taako did the sparkles and the showy shit. Lup did the pyrotechnics. They both made fucking excellent food.

Taking it on the road was a stroke of genius. It meant that they would never be run out of town. They could run themselves out whenever the atmosphere turned bad. Not that there was much sign of that. The crowds absolutely loved them.

Lup couldn’t exactly remember who sponsored the Stage Coach or the merchandise deal, but they were moving so fast that neither of them could keep up with the demand for autographs. Lup grinned at her brother, who grinned back. They knew better than to say it, but this was it. This was them finally getting out of the gutter. This was their path to better things.

“Hello, again, gorgeous,” cooed Taako. “This is your third show. Like what you see?”

Lup sized him up in a cold second. Doughy boy. As far from gorgeous as he could get. No doubt Taako was attracted to the insurance that he would survive a winter or two and the fact that he would be less likely to run away.

“Uh. Uh. Are you the girl one?”

Okay. That lost him some points. More than a few, in fact. “I’m the girl one,” she iced. “So what?”

He blushed. “Uhm. You… look… really identical.”

Taako sensed the inherent problems at last and said, “Yeah we were born identical, but Lup decided to make a few improvements.”

There it was. That uncertain look. The once over. The sudden dawning of abject fear. Taako saw it too. This loser went from plausible companion to absolute nope in the tiniest moment.

“What’s your name, handsome?” said Taako, now completely feigning interest.

“Uhm. Sazed. Baker. I’m Sazed Baker.”

“Fuck off, Sazed Baker,” they said in unison.

They didn’t think about him again for their entire six-year tour of Faerun. They didn’t even recognise him when he turned up in Glamour Springs.

They knew who he was when he sabotaged the show, though. Using a simple cantrip to foul the food and give forty people food poisoning. Sure, he burned for it, but the Taaco & Taaco show was burned with him.

They never got to keep anything nice.

Back on the run. Back on the road. Back to the fucking gutters. Again. With luck, in three years or so, nobody would know who they were and they could start over.

“We can deal with this,” she insisted, huddled in a burrow. “Just a few years out of sight. No big. We’ll be back up on top.”

“Sure,” Taako lied. “Back on top. Easy.”

Lup rolled her eyes. Most of her time would get eaten by propping his pessimistic ass up for the duration.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 4]

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Angus stabled the deer he’d ridden and crept through the less obvious corridors of the farmhouse to his room. He needed his sanctuary right about now. Just a few minutes to breathe where nobody could get to him. Just time enough to centre himself. That was all he needed.

The smell of the old tree almost instantly soothed him. He nearly burst out in tears at the smell of Taako’s cooking, down in the big kitchen. One of his Welcome-home extravaganzas with all of Angus’ favourites and mood-boosters in the mix. Of course, too much for one small boy, two parents, and an aunt and uncle to devour alone, so friends of the family would be invited for an instant party.

Some of those friends had kids who also went to Miller Academy. Kids who knew everything. Every little detail of every embarrassing thing that nobody could shut up about whenever he was in earshot.

Angus could just imagine what that party would turn into. It made him feel so very not hungry. Which was bad. He knew that intellectually. He also knew that he hadn’t been eating much at Miller’s either.

Angus didn’t want another caring lecture about proper nutrition from Taako. Especially not in front of anyone he went to school with. That sort of thing would spread like wildfire. He wouldn’t ever stop hearing it in mocking voice from anyone and everyone.

He huddled up on his bed, clutching at his stomach. He didn’t want this to happen, he didn’t want to feel sick, he didn’t want to dread the news of today and tonight reaching the Miller’s gossip mill. Yet… here he was, doing all of that.

Worse. Taako had noticed, and come upstairs. “Hey, boychick. Not feelin’ so good?”

Angus deduced that Taako had rolled high on his Perception and Investigation checks and was probably running an Insight check right now. Lying would be pointless, but he could still tell a very specific truth. “I don’t want a neighbourhood party tonight, sir.”

Shit. Fuck. He’d called Taako ‘sir’ instead of ‘Papa’. That was the deadest of dead give-aways. Now one of his adopted parentals knew that there was trouble.

Taako was the king of over-the-top reactions to literally everything. He would call down storms. If there was anything worse than being tormented, it was having a parent rescue you from being tormented.

That sort of thing never died down or went away.

“So who do you not want at the party?”

He was fishing. “Please don’t call down any wrath, sir…” Shit. Again. He did it again. “I couldn’t… I don’t… Please…”

Gentle hands ran through his hair. “Ango… Sweetheart… I’m not gonna do anything to anyone, I promise. I know how the pecking order goes in asshole schools. What’cha need is a means to get back at ‘em while looking completely innocent. So… who’s on your kill list?”

“I don’t want anyone killed!”

“Metaphor, metaphor. I promise.” Taako crossed his heart. “At least give me their usual routine.”

Explained at length, it didn’t sound as horrible as it felt, but it was what Taako referred to as making hag stones. One little drop of water didn’t do much, but dozens, day after day, year after year, could wear the heart out of anything. It had been a very hag-stone semester for Angus. Hour after hour, the concentrated effect of five drips had literally made him sick to think about it.

Papa Taako eased him through the episodes, using a little bit of magic, a little bit of comfort, and a lot of logic. Eventually, the beginnings of some plans hatched forth.

For now, not inviting them to the welcome-home bash was punishment enough.

For now.

Real justice, served at sub-zero temperatures, would happen later.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 4]

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[AN: AU? Nah, fam, this is coherent with the twins’ expansion-pack history. But I can take it into AU turf if you like]

“Koko! Koko,wake up, it’s kitchen day!”

“Mmmuuurrrrrhhhhnnnn…” Koko complained. “Whyyyyy…”

“We gotta get started on breakfast, Koko,” insisted Kri. “That includes the wood-gathering.”

Koko cracked open one eye. Everything was grey. “’S not ev’n dawn,” he whined.

“They heard you can cook, bro-bro,” said Lulu from their shared bunk. “Time to pay the piper.”

“Mrrrnnngh,” Koko complained, hauling himself out of a relatively comfy bunk and a pocket of warm, mingling, sibling farts. “…don’ wanna be doing this,” he whined.

“Do what I did and burn everything,” mumbled Lulu.

“That’s always your solution.” He wrestled into a pair of pants and threw on a coat. “No professional standards,” Koko yawned. “Tha’s my stoopid sister f’r ya…”

Lulu mumbled something that could pass for the words, ‘dumb baby brother’ and rolled over.

Koko mumbled and slid into the warm boots. Like fuck was he going out wood-gathering at the crack of sparrow-fart without some kind of warm footwear. He didn’t bother taking his hair out of the braids he’d worn to sleep. It was too early in the morning to worry about his beauty regime.

Working with Kri wasn’t that bad. The son of the man that Koko was crushing hard on was a nice sort. Way too enthusiastic in the mornings, but everyone had their little flaws. They were pretty close in age, but it was evident what a difference having a parent had made in their lives.

Koko had a hard enough time protecting this sweet summer child from the harsh realities of life on the road. He didn’t need to tell this kid everything, after all. The less he knew about rummaging through middens for the next meal, the better. Besides, the circus was a sweet gig. No sense in ruining it for anyone else.

“Sometimes I wish I could have the freedom you do,” Kri was rambling as they brought the baskets of sticks back to the chuck wagon. “I mean, you set your own hours, make your own decisions, you don’t have to eat sprouts… It seems like you got it all.”

Because he was tired, he said, “Except a mom.”

Kri stopped stoking the ovens. “What?”

Well, shit. Now he’d stepped in it. “Uhm. Lulu and I… we’re the only family we got. There’s… been… more than a few times when we’d trade any freedom you think we have for… a guarantee that there’s someone to look after us, y’know.”

“But you’re allowed to smoke,” said Kri.

“More like nobody can stop us smoking,” corrected Koko. “We also got nobody to make sure we got soup and blankets when we’re sick. Or… hold us when we get nightmares. Or make us breakfast…”

“We’re making breakfast,” objected Kri. “It’s our turn.”

“Yeah. Uhm. Before… we joined your circus… there were no turns. It was cook or go hungry.”

“All by yourselves.”

Now he was getting it. “Yeah. All by ourselves. Nobody else.”

Kri was rearranging wood. “Nobody but your sister.”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“Since we were twelve.”

Kri got back to work, after that. Stoking the fires and following Koko’s direction in regards to ingredients and what to do with them. Eventually, he said, “Let’s make my dad something special, okay?”

He was halfway towards doing that anyway. “Sure.”

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 5]

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Very tempting. I have an interestingly disorganised life, so the time schedules would depend entirely on whatever moments we share consciousness in.

Next week, for instance, I am off to visit a friend and may not have much time to scratch my arse or do my daily Instants in, let alone gather together the mental wherewithall for the TAZ ficlets.

The week after that might be fine. Might.

All that said… if you’re fine with my headcannons, I’m fine with playing with them with you. Who would you wish to play? More important - who would you like me to play?

This was the day that Angus had been dreading. Parent and teacher night had begun. Some parents were dreaded already, like Susan, who was there to badger everyone about how brilliant her darling little Jason was and how it was discriminatory that he was kept from the halls of Miller Academy.

The other one they dreaded was Taako. Who could now blaze right through all the checks and barriers to stop him haranguing the teachers and just go off at everyone who he thought wasn’t doing their job. Angus was dreading that part.

What he hadn’t anticipated was Kravitz. Who turned up in a resplendently fancy suit, looking like he existed to be Taako’s arm candy. Angus thought he’d let Taako take the lead.

Kravitz, however, had his own concerns about modern education. “I don’t see any indicators in regards to penmanship or calligraphy in his report cards,” he said to every. Single. Teacher. “A good, neat hand is essential for everyone’s future.”

“Not since Miller Labs released the autodictator pen. Actually, since the book of transcription, handwriting has been less important.”

“When did that happen?”

“Three hundred years ago, sir,” Angus sighed.

“Yeah, I did like, half my first book with a book of transcription. The editing was hell, though,” said Taako. “Anyway, back to this bullshit alleged curriculum of yours…”

Then there was the issue of maths…

“The entire family worked on this piece of shit problem for five fucking hours…”

“You need to send more detailed instructions for parents helping their kids.”

“The Seven Birds literally couldn’t do that one, and we’re fucking legends.”

Angus was shocked. “You got Madam Director in on that one, sirs?”

“Hell yeah,” said Taako. “Delegate to the nerds, that’s how we do.”

Kravitz got their train of thought back onto the tracks. “Can you show us how this one is supposed to work?”

That took three hours, including the arguments about why it shouldn’t work.

The pinnacle of suck for Angus happened when they got to his music teacher.

“Why,” said Kravitz, edging into his Work Accent, “the fock, is Angus marked down for music? I’ve been teaching our boy everything ‘e knows.”

“Elementary music theory isn’t about improvisation,” said the luckless teacher. “It isn’t about influence… It’s about learning the rules.”

“Well, if he’s more advanced than this class,” said Kravitz, “move him up.”

The music teacher said what they said to parents like Susan. “It’s necessary to earn a passing grade at elementary music theory before moving on to more advanced classes. It isn’t me, it’s the rules of the academy. We have to be certain that students are qualified for the work.”

“Angus, sweetie, why don’t you play All For the Stars for this blatant ignoramus?”

“Sir…” Angus protested.

“Play for the man, Agnes. What’s to lose?”

My dignity, thought Angus. “This isn’t an audition, sir. It’s my fault for getting bored in class. It’s the school rules and all the playing I can do wouldn’t change anyone’s mind.”

“Your son has a firm grasp of the situation,” said the teacher, leaving the, Why don’t you? unspoken. “Playing anything wouldn’t change–”

“Play for the man,” Taako insisted. “We know you’re better than an entry-level class. Show everyone.”

“Sir–”

Great. Now everyone was looking. Taako had a piercing voice and knew how to pitch it to carry to the crowd.

“This is my boy and he can play up a storm.” Taako started a chant. “Play! Play! Play! Play…”

Angus wished he had Shape Earth so he could vanish into a hole into the ground. He shared a sympathetic moment with the music teacher who rolled their eyes; and eventually made a go-ahead gesture.

Angus, ears steaming from the heat of mortification, sighed and played. Not Kravtiz’s suggestion. Not March of the Forgotten, which was a hardy favourite, but a different composition from Johann. He’d called it, Even the Unworthy.

Angus had loved it. It was his favourite. It made him feel like he could be valued even when nobody could possibly appreciate him. It made him feel good about himself when it seemed like nobody else could harbour any kind feeling.

He sat back down when he was done, not listening to the applause or his adopted parents’ bragging. in between the hubbub, he managed. “I’m gonna try harder to stick to the rules, sir.”

“I’ll do what I can to get you bumped up as soon as possible.”

Deal struck, Angus did his best to survive the rest of the evening without spontaneously combusting from sheer embarrassment.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 3]

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Koko had frozen halfway through putting his costume on. He was staring off in a particular direction with a lovelorn expression on his face.

“Focus, dear,” said Lulu, yanking the leotard all the way up to his shoulders. “We’re on in five.”

“I can’t help it, he’s gorgeous,” Koko sighed.

Lulu tweaked the piece of tarpaulin so that it blocked his view of this particular circus’ knife thrower, Kustaad the Magnificent. “He’s straight as an arrow and knows you’re underage, Koko. Give up.”

“But he’s gorgeous…”

“Everybody knows, Koko. Including his wife.” She made faces at him so she could fix his makeup. “You might have a chance with his son…”

Koko murmured uncertainly. “I know they’re unhappy, I heard them fighting…”

“That wasn’t fighting, bro-bro.”

“Three minutes, wonder twins! Goggles on or Harkin’s gonna scrag you!”

Because Harkin believed in Witch Eyes and so did a large portion of the audience. Lulu put his on because Koko wasn’t focussing on any damn thing but the wants of his own groin.

Lulu grabbed his face. “We are going to be jumping around at each other thirty feet off the ground, brother-dear. I need you to focus on the most important people - us.”

He sighed, pressing his forehead to hers. “I know. I know. Mind on the job.”

“Good,” she breathed easier. Just in time for them to wow the audience with glitter and dazzle.

*

There he was! The most beautiful man Koko had ever met. He was sweaty and out of breath from his part of the show and Kustaad just stole what little breath he had left. He still had a smile for the man. “Did you see?” he panted. “Amazing, right?”

Kustaad said what he always said, since he was literally old enough to be Koko’s father. “You did good, kid. If I was your dad, I’d be proud of you.” And he petted Koko’s head like a loving parent might.

Of course he did. He had a kid Koko’s age. That hurt.

At least Koko had the sense not to share the acres of bad poetry he’d written about being painfully in love with an older man who wasn’t even aware that gay people existed.

Meanwhile, there was Kri. Kustaad’s son who was a mere handful of years Koko’s junior. Sure, Kri could mature to be just like his father, but he was a weedy Elven junior of about Seventy.

Who was definitely in adoration of Koko, and might have a baby crush. “I saw you,” said Kri. “You were amazing! You’re always amazing. When you did that flip and swapped around to leap backwards? I swear my heart stopped.”

It wouldn’t be fair to lead Kri along when he was so badly in love with Kustaad. And it wasn’t fair to Kri to not at least be friendly. “We got us a situation, huh?” he said.

“Huh?” echoed Kri.

“You got a thing for me. I got a thing for… someone else. It kind’a hurts, right?”

Kri sighed, pain in his eyes. “Yeah. It does.”

Taako took a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know exactly how much this hurts.”

“Wish it didn’t,” said Kri.

“Your mouth to the gods’ ears,” said Koko.

That night, he would spend three hours waxing lyrical to Lulu about the great sacrifices he had made in the name of love. Making friends with a younger kid and bonding over how painful love can be when it wasn’t returned.

All so Kustaad could be happy that his son Kri had a reason to be happy.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 3]

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Well if you don’t wanna plough through Unexpected Warmth over on AO3, I can give you the cliff notes of the generic version [each time I rewrite it, I add wrinkles or leave some yadda-yadda’d to maintain reader interest.

• Kravitz is, technically speaking 2000(+) years old
  
• When he was alive, it was a way more superstitious and ignorant world
• He grew up to be a bard and discovered he was gay as hell
• This was not viewed as a good thing by his fellow villagers and they blamed demons
• Would-be boyfriend, Byl, was the exact sort of shit to string Krav along whilst also dishing dirt to anyone who’d reward him for that shit. Krav is young and love-blind and kind’a stupid like that
• They had exactly one wonderful summer of sneaking off and holding hands together (aawww…)
• Enter a long-ass winter with a really poor spring and a nonexistent summer. Talk of curses abound because superstitious and ignorant.
• Finger of blame points at local demon-boy
• Byl betrays Kravitz by setting up a fairy tale near-wedding or wedding expy and Krav swallows it wholesale
• Byl literally sinks the knife in
• Enter Raven Queen, there to collect an unsworn soul
• Krav runs until spiritual exhaustion. Swaps eternal service for seeing one more summer
• Three lacks of summer pass, the village dies (Byl gets sacrificed first. Yay?) before summer finally comes.
• Krav only feels the cold of death, but he enters RQ’s service anyway and has been cold ever since until…
• Taako brings the warmth of love into his heart again (Huzzah!)

The explanation being that love for Taako is what warmed him from the heart outwards. Which is why his breath warms up his hands and face in some episodes.

[AN: (Still Alive playing in the background) Taagnus isn’t my favourite but I can see how they’d be FWB during SC]

Magnus was used to being strong for Taako. That was how it worked. Then Taako was feeling weak, lonely, or emotionally tired. It happened more often when Lup died. He really had to be strong then, because Taako was most likely to go off the rails when his sister was dead.

Today, though, some random virus had managed to assault him. Something that had killed Barry and was close to killing Luce… and now had got to him despite their best efforts to prevent it.

He felt like dog shit that had been dragged backwards through a hedge and set on fire. He felt weaker than a newborn kitten and less able to focus on the world outside his bed.

Hot soup and cold water kept appearing by his bedside. Cold compresses and hot water bottles eased his discomfort. He was dimly aware that someone was sponge-bathing him.

It was a sweat-soaked and uncomfortable time, but someone was invested in his survival and, given that Merle was shitty at that sort of thing. The weight he sometimes sensed on his bed was too heavy to be Cap’n’port. He hadn’t thought anyone else was even bothered with his continued existence. He’d be back next year like nothing ever happened to him.

Why should they care?

His name was Magnus Burnsides. He was eighteen. He’d been eighteen for twenty-five years. As time slipped out of his grasp, he didn’t know whether to curse this attempted saviour or bless them. It all depended how shit he felt whenever consciousness wrestled with him and won.

Blink.

Retching into a tub. Someone’s hand was stopping him from falling out of his bunk and into his own puke. Soaked in sweat and down to his undies under a sheet that had been tossed on and off.

“Let it out,” said a voice on the edge of his awareness. “Don’t hold back i’morko.”

A glass of water. Cool and fresh. Pressed to his lips. “Rinse. Spit.”

He did that.

The form that leaned him back on the mess of pillows was a blur in the reds and golds of the mission uniform. Couldn’t be Taako. Taako always ditched the uniform at the first opportunity.

“…who?” he croaked.

“Don’t sweat it. Here.”

A concoction of milk, herbs, and honey. Comfort-warm and a blessing on his ravaged throat. The stabbing in his stomach eased.

“Just rest.”

Blink.

Shivering in the darkness. So cold. A presence leaning over him Snuggling up close. Whoever they were, they were a furnace. Someone moved around the hot water bottles. Someone brushed his face. Calloused hands.

“Sssh. Sshh-shh… Deep breaths, now. Deep breaths.”

He tried his best until he sank back down again.

Blink.

The soup had chunks in it. “You remember how to chew, right?”

He did that. The meat was spicy and soft. The liquid around it was warm and comforting. The blur in front of him was a little clearer. Darkish skin with lighter patches. Golden hair tied up in a red kerchief. He couldn’t focus on the eyes and easily tell which twin had the tonic.

“…lup?”

“Guess again, homeslice.”

Blink.

It might be daytime, but he was alone. Sprawled out on his bunk and unable to lift a finger. Running footsteps coming towards his position and he couldn’t even move his head.

The red blur was back, fiddling with his button fly and muttering under his breath. “…stoopid-ass fashion designers, those assholes never had t’ pee in a hurry in their lives…”

Magnus smiled. He knew that complaint. By heart. His voice was a rough and ghostly rasp. “…hey taako…”

Taako finished wrestling with is upper buttons. “Hey. Feeling better yet?”

“I feel like wrung-out laundry after it’s been beat on a rock.”

“Yeah, that’d about get it. Luce said that’s how she felt when she beat it. You’re on the way back up. So there’s that good news.” He made to feel Magnus’ brow.

“You wash your hands?”

Now he could focus on Taako’s mismatched glare. “No, I stuck both hands up my ass and came straight to you.” His hands were damp and smelled of the lavender soap they made on weekends. “Fever’s broken. Want help getting into the shower? ‘Cause you smell like boiled ass.”

“You’d know what boiled ass smells like,” quipped Magnus. Which was a cue to the usual joke.

“Of course I do, I boiled your ass the last time you died. Stank up the ship for two weeks.”

He laughed so hard he fell to fits to coughing.

“Easy, now. Easy. No joking for another week.”

“What? No sponge bath?”

“Naw, ya gotta try an’ walk as soon as you can. You got some atrophy going on, and -uh- don’t look.”

Given how weak he felt just sitting up, he decided not to look at how bad he’d got. The crew had taken to covering any mirror on board when disease or injury ravaged the survivor’s bodies and faces. There was already a cloth over the mirror in the bathroom.

Close to, Taako also looked like hell. There were signs of Blight up his neck and his eyes were hollow. He had a kind of boiled ass aroma to him and his hair was kind’a greasy.

“Were you looking after me the whole time?”

Taako rolled his mismatched eyes and scoffed. “No…” which was Taako-ese for ‘yes’.

Magnus didn’t argue with his horseshit. He just said, “Thanks,” and added, “Maybe you should help me stand in the shower.”

“Eh. Whatever.”

Which was Taako-ese for, “Sure, but don’t make a big deal out of that.”

They showered together with a few more hugs than necessary. Just two people surviving the disaster together. He didn’t say a word about them sharing a bed to rest. He didn’t say a word about how often Taako actually showed he cared during his recovery.

That was how they rolled. That was how it worked. For them.

[TAZ Prompts remaining: 5]

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This week’s big bad was preying on wealthy newlyweds, hijacking wedding jewellery and any other valuables. When they weren’t kidnapping the most affluent member of the pair for ransom.

There were suspicions of Dark Magic happening to those who didn’t earn the ransom. They were certainly never seen again. Not alive, for sure.

This band had a type. They liked the younger couples, and the wealthier, the better. Therefore, the Bureau of Benevolence picked Angus and Agatha as the ideal team to be bait.

Agatha looked splendid - better than splendid - in the dress they had found for her. Angus rather fancied he looked spectacular in the suit he wore. Their luggage was loaded with the right kind of jewellery and they booked the most expensive Honeymoon Suite. They talked loudly of expensive plans as part of a Faerun-wide tour, as they checked in.

It was easy to act like he was ridiculously in love with Agatha, since he was. It was fun to kiss and be goopy in each other’s general direction without any comments from the peanut gallery - otherwise known as Tres Horny Boys.

The suite was amazing. Room service and wine and laughter together as they watched Fantasy Pay-Per-View together in bed.

It was the fifteenth kiss that did it for him. Angus made a decision.

“I can’t wait to do something like this for real,” he said.

“Theft and potential murder aren’t real enough for you?” she teased.

He had to laugh. “I mean I’d love it if you’d marry me, Agatha Tremaine.” He circled the fake engagement ring around on her finger. “I’ll get you a real one as soon as we’re done here. First thing.”

“Gosh, this is so sudden,” she said, quizzaciously sarcastic. “Nothing at all like the other times.”

“You didn’t say ‘no’,” he said. “You always said stuff like, ‘really. Now?’ and didn’t give me an answer.”

She leaned up on her elbow. “I’m going to have to answer you or keep facing this question, aren’t I?”

“That would be ideal,” he purred.

She kissed him. “Fine. Yes. I’d love to make our partnership official.” They sealed the deal with an extensive make-out session. Which was, unfortunately, interrupted by the hotel staff who were the theft/kidnapping ring.

Those idiots were immediately and instantly trounced.

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 8]

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