Challenge #02691-G134: Harmless Unless…
“My apologies but you are so similar to my damn cat”
“What make you sayyyy that?”
“Your reaction to catnip is exactly the same way as my cat” – Anon Guest
Harmless substances are only harmless to some. Humans regularly imbibe carbonic acid because they find it tasty. In such cases, harmlessness is relative. In most cases, the phrase is “harmless but”. For example, the Terran catnip plant is harmless, but it also functions as a narcotic for other species. How they prefer to take it is up to them, and it is fortunately not one of the very dangerous narcotics available to the Galactic Alliance.
In such situations, mishaps are bound to happen. Such as the recent spill on the trader vessel Big Jim’s Cargo, which is neither large nor belonging to a Jim, but does indeed contain lots of cargo. Of which, a one kilogram bag of loose-packed catnip has just burst and spilled all over Human Warno. Most had been cleaned up, but small chaff particles have a way of persisting - just anyone who’s run afoul of glitter within the last two months[1]. Human Warno had done her best, but was nevertheless very popular amongst the local Skitty population.
Companion Hrrau found Human Warno grumbling to herself and may have noticed the attractive scent. It was difficult to tell, initially, that the ‘harmless’ plant product had had any effect on them. Companion Hrrau was one of Nature’s Huggers. They just naturally greeted anyone they knew with enveloping arms and the option of physically picking them up.
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for a link to the rest of this story, and details on how to support this artist. Or visit peakd (dot) com (slash at) internutter for the stories at their freshest]
Inspired by various tumblr posts.
Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.
Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.
You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.
That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?
You really want a human.
Humans also get a reputation for being pants-shittingly insane:
Humans want to go everywhere, you see that black hole? They’re trying to go in that to ‘explore’
Humans jump out of flying vehicles at heights that would most certainly kill them with only a piece of cloth strapped to them to save them, they do this for FUN
Conversely humans, a species that cannot survive without air, plunge themselves into the depths of their planet’s horrifying oceans until their bodies can’t take the pressure then they created vehicles to go further
Humanity didn’t wait to develop a sensible propulsion system to escape their planet’s atmosphere they strapped a metal tube to bombs and shot themselves out into the vacuum of space
If a human says something will ‘be fun’ assume that it’s probably life threatening
Challenge #02690-G133: Labor of Love
A human who enjoys fiber crafts goes on a quest to find the perfect material to make a soft, cuddly…thing for a havenworlder friend’s birthday. The havenworlder is not from a culture that celebrates birthdays. – Anon Guest.
“This is for a Havenworlder,” said the Human in the store. “I need the friendliest fibre you’ve got. Soft, gentle, won’t tangle in their scales or rip their little baby claws if they get caught up. I’d really prefer they didn’t get caught up. They panic a lot.”
Craft stores see a lot of bizarre requests. Creatives often journey down strange and interesting rabbit-holes and surface in peculiar places. Anyone who makes jewellery knows the interesting possibilities of the hardware store. All creatives who make things know the irresistible lure of the Bits Shop[1], which generates bizarre requests on its own.
“And you are making this for a Havenworlder’s comfort?” asked the shopkeeper. There had been a brandished pattern for a soft toy, and an explicit list of chemical compounds not safe for the intended recipient, and the sense of an impending deadline. “When is it expected?”
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for a link to the rest of this story, and details on how to support this artist. Or visit peakd (dot) com (slash at) internutter for the stories at their freshest]
Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud
In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.
Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it….
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc
(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) – Mike
[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don’t do that to us again?]
War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to make certain a siege ends faster than the defending side expected.
Tactics that include flooding the base, attacking the supplies, sapping the walls, and psychological warfare. Only some of this has been banned by the Cogniscent Rights Committee. As far as battle tactics are concerned, sound assaults are a potential grey zone. The volume must not exceed a certain amount of decibels, and the frequency limit has been tested against all known tolerances.
Thus, when Pax Humanis has a siege, they have an approved playlist for the sonic assaults. This does not stop the besiegers from applying their own variations. They did maintain the songs on the list, according to the very letter of the law. The variation was in the spirit.
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for a link to the rest of this story, and details on how to support this artist. Or visit peakd (dot) com (slash at) internutter for the stories at their freshest]
Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of– Oh Wait
Human: What’s everybody so upset about?
Crew: You’re here? But you told the Last Lie!
Human: Don’t you know me by now? I really hate lying. – Anon Guest
“Wait,” said Human Jef. “Are you mad that I’m alive?”
This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. “Of course not,” said Companion Ryl. “We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial.”
“And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell, there she is like a stray Powers-damned cat. I’m starting to think you don’t like me.”
Companion Ryl took a deep breath. “We’re not mad at you,” ze began. “We’re mad that we spent so much emotional energy on a falsehood.”
[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for a link to the rest of this story, and details on how to support this artist. Or visit peakd (dot) com (slash at) internutter for the stories at their freshest]