Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can
The human was not the ship’s human. They were a passenger. They were also paralyzed from the waist down. When she ship crashed, when the human’s movement assistive device was rendered inoperable, when the human found themself trapped in the wreckage with half a dozen fellow passengers, all either injured or too distressed to move…
Well. A sufficiently determined human with two working limbs, several cases of dental floss, a non-operative movement assistive device, and six people to rescue…is still going to need medical assistance after dragging everyone else to safety with a makeshift sledge and harness. – Anon Guest
“The world is made for legs, so I have a neuro-linked exo to make my legs work until I get a nerve patch. They’re still trying to find a compatible syntho suite for me, since I was born like this. Fun times.” If there was a further part of the conversation, Lil didn’t remember it. Trauma interrupts the process of making permanent memories. Lil couldn’t remember if ze had said the part about thanking the Powers that multi-species spaces were easier to navigate than the ones made for Just Humans.
Ze probably had. It was hir favourite bitch session. This world, surrounded in patches of fire and smelling of ozone, was not made for legs. It was not made for any mobility. It was an accident site. Worse, hir exo pants had suffered a fatal error and shut down. Lil disconnected and dragged hirself out of them.
Pros and Cons. Pro: The exo bracers spared me from broken legs. Con: My legs were non-functional anyway. Pro: There is no problem so big it can’t at least be helped by a little ductape and a lot of ingenuity. Con: I have dental floss. Lil took a deep breath, coughing at the smoke. “Okay,” ze told hirself. “Let’s get to it. Resident Deathworlder saves the day, blah blah blah.”
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Challenge #02726-G169: Only Two? Since When?
A: ok, what’s in between your legs?
B: DETERMINATION
A: alright then guess my race
B: human
A: why yes but actually no – Anon Guest
[AN: I don’t think any decent person would actually utter the words “what’s between your legs” because that’s way too intimate a question for casual conversation. Person A in the above interchange is unbelievably rude]
Not every meeting between Humans and members of the Alliance is easy. There are a rare few when some participants seem to refuse to get along without passing ridiculous levels of intimacy. Some Humans, the Alliance was learning, were just too curious about certain aspects of other life forms. Once a common language is established, certain aspects must be categorized in order for civilised behaviour to progress.
This involved a large number of uncivilised questions.
The Terran Colony was initially mis-translated as Prominent Grass, owing to a miscommunication based on phonetic translation. The Humans there had a rather rigid view of their own bizarre biology, and a willful opposition of scientific evidence that opposed their opinions. In all other aspects, they appeared to be relatively progressive for Deathworlders, but appearances are often deceiving.
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Challenge #02725-G168: A Matter of Technicality
Human1: Damn if Australia pushed our level 4 deathworld to a 4.5 I’m worried about you guys exploring the unexplored 70% of our ocean.
Human2: it’s not 70% it’s 95%
Crewmate: wait what? – Anon Guest
“Ah… that’s a mis-assumption,” said Thorq. “The Deathworlder classification is based on how many environmental factors are hostile to the development of intelligent life. In the case of most of the Earth, it’s the fauna, the weather, the flora, and the ocean. Australia also happens to have the geography as hostile as well.”
There was a moment of silence among the Humans having this discussion. Cold stares abounded.
“Nobody likes a person who draws from the well actually,” said Human Zif.
“Way to spoil our fun, Thorq,” said Human Kon. “We were bullshitting and you shat on it.”
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Challenge #02724-G167: There Goes Mischief
Ze was confident in zer ability to handle this. Ze was a level three deathworlder who worked with dangerous animals for a living! Watching a human toddler for an afternoon and evening would be no problem.
Of course, ze had made an elementary mistake…ze had failed to realize that just because the child still spoke Scribble and could only walk at a slow, bobbling shuffle on two legs didn’t stop them from booking it on all fours, or climbing the furniture. And this particular toddler was fond of hiding, and then providing jump scares to nearby adult caretakers. – Anon Guest
Human Lew had apparently graduated to ‘toddler’. This, according to Cless’ inspection, meant that the infant Human was barely capable of shuffling along on two feet, with frequent stops to imbalance themself and sit heavily on the floor.
“Ai! Issa buk,” proclaimed Human Lew.
“This is Companion Cless,” said Human Lew’s parental, Human Vai. “Ze is not a chicken.”
Human Lew kept making chicken noises.
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Challenge #02723-G166: Just Add Zombies
This prompt issues to an earlier story from two years ago. https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-01928-e104-tag-you-re-undead. One that gave me a wicked little grin, though I did have to search a bit to find it again.
Zombie tag. That was a game, and an experiment, that was both famous and infamous. Since its inception a few years ago, it had become a wildly popular thing that became a new sport. How long could teams last against the “zombies”? Rules were drawn up, people could “defend” themselves against “zombies” with soft, fake “weapons” that, at worst, might give a level 4 havenworlder a slight bruise and, frankly, other than blotting a little ink on someone, nothing more. If the blot was on the head, the “zombie” was out. If you were tagged, you either “died”, or became a “zombie”.
But when the lights go down, the environment gets creepy, and the recording of frightening groans begins as the “zombies” are let loose on the “uninfected”, the championship teams for that year were in for a bit of a surprise. Every year there was an odd twist for the championship, but this one? A messed up version of the human anthem, enough to keep anyone on their toes. How long would the teams last, and who would the champion be this year? – DaniAndShali
Inexplicably, the Havenworlders loved it. Simulated danger without any actual danger. The rules were clear, and the options were multiple. When the Humans added Nerf Weapons and paintballs to the shenanigans. To make a bad pun worse, the nerf weapons were a hit. The paintballs were sponge, and softer than the projectiles Humans used for their paintball-oriented simulated combat. They would be felt, but they would not cause injuries hazardous to Havenworlders.
One hit to the head or five hits to the body could ‘kill’ a 'zombie’, other players could fortify, hide, or attack 'zombies’. Play only occurred within the arena, and safe spaces were non-combat zones. Non-zombies who 'died’ from a zombie could choose whether or not they became 'zombies’ and therefore joined the zombie horde.
It was a game that gave Havenworlders a chance to wail on Deathworlders and win, even if it was simulated battle, it did immense good to both Havenworlder confidence and epigenetic drift towards hardier makeup. That, and there’s nothing like almost unrestrained chaos to create a good time for all.
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