Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested
I would love to see Mythbusters in Space! You know, where some humans have seen the original old videos of it and decides to do a new mythbuster series based for their era? It’d be cool! – DaniAndShali
[AN: In light of recent losses, I have debated having a Human Grant in this one and… honestly… I didn’t want to risk disrespect to his memory]
“We all know how Human drama has historically portrayed asteroid fields,” said Human Steve at a planning table. Ze, and hir co-host, were helpfully labelled for newcomers.
“Lies,” said Human Bob, and gestured to a screen displaying a ship dodging space rocks left, right, and centre. An ancient audio clip played a sound-bite that said, “It’s only a model,” as if the watching audience couldn’t tell.
“Visually appealing lies because we went into several asteroid fields and this was what we saw,” Steve gestured to a display that held lots of black, some stars, and a few visual augmentations pointing out actual asteroids and the distances they were from the viewer.
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Challenge #02758-G201: Organic Pest Control
A shipment of fruits and plants that had gone through a DeRegger station was opened in a very large Alliance station. The plants were bound for a new section that had been added to the botanical garden there. Unfortunately, an unwanted guest came along with it. Within a month or so, that dreaded high-pitched sound that all humans from Earth knew all too well was starting to be heard. An invasive pest that bred rapidly anywhere there were pools for it to breed in had arrived. Humans called them Mosquitoes. – Anon Guest
The stamps said, Inspected and Passed Regulations so the inspection team thought they were safe. In retrospect, they should have checked the point of origin. After all, Greater Deregulation means almost exactly what it says[1]. If they had known then…
This was just one of the many disasters associated with Greater Deregulation and their misuse of clearance codifiers. The Alliance would eventually learn that nothing was going to make Greater Deregulation comply with Alliance standards, and therefore enact procedures to keep the larger populace safe from hazardous Deathworlder infestations.
Of course the living plants were sent with water and soil. Live cargo was, to this particular brand of technophobic Dereggers, the only way to be certain it arrived fresh. Of course said water and soil was the best that this particular polity had to offer. It had passed all their inspections. It did not meet Alliance standards, but the Alliance was still learning about that particular loophole before closing it thoroughly.
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Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With… ????
A xenobiologist decided to study the mating behaviors of many other races from the the weakest havenworlders to the strongest deathworlders. However, when it came to … ah… HUMAN mating behaviors, well, things just got weird! – DaniAndShali
It was the study of centuries, greatly aided by just hanging out in various public zones of crossroads stations and people-watching. Of course, the more invasive aspects of the study were a matter for each species individual fictions and documentaries. This study was about the social aspect of things, not the physical act of mating.
If two cogniscents were trying to attract each other, the reasoning went, it was wise to know how all species preferred to do so. One being’s flirting, after all, was someone else’s deadly insult. A little cultural understanding between various peoples was always a good thing.
As far as sociological studies went, it was doing very well. Havenworlders were generally straightforward with each other, and most species had stopped messing about with various manipulation games by the time they got to space.
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Challenge #02756-G199: Oh Marvelous Me
I’m sorry to add to your already heavy workload that is your Prompts. But I would really like to see Unununium Jones on her stellar yacht get her just deserts. (From Prompt #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six) – Anon Guest
[AN: Link thanks to DaniAndShali <3 Bless you for being helpful]
Life, the saying goes, is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. That saying was certainly true of Uni Jones. She has, to stretch the metaphor, so much bread that the comparative fecal matter was invisible to the naked eye. Or at least, that’s the way it was.
There’s another saying, Without change, there is no life. In short, the lifestyle of the ludicrously rich were about to change abruptly. In order to prevent the gross indecencies performed by Unununinium Jones and her lifestyle, the CRC changed its basic standard of living definitions and the Alliance itself altered its tax laws.
Trade with alliance citizens, businesses, and so forth would be taxed at one hundred percent unless all employees, minions, and wholly-owned subsidiaries complied with CRC rights regulations. The same applied for trade within alliance registered businesses.
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Challenge #02755-G198: Five Under Five
There were four of them. They were definitely human, and the biggest was still less than 1.5 sidu tall. Probably. The biggest one was also at the bottom of what could only be described as a pile of babies. The second biggest and the smallest were using the biggest as pillows. Those three were asleep. The second smallest was reclining on the second biggest, and giggling at a repetitive song accompanying dancing cartoon fruits and vegetables playing on a tablet.
This scene would be less of an issue if it wasn’t in the middle of a walkway, and accompanied by a distinct lack of guardian.
On questioning by security, the second smallest said “shhhh, sibling sweeping” and “mama feel sick” before pointing to the nearby restroom. As if on cue, the sound of violent retching emanated from the toilets.
After a small amount of panic and a large amount of ruckus, not helped by the sleeping children waking up (and being corralled by the largest one, who turned out to be younger than estimated by size), the medical team that was summoned determined that the human in the restroom was pregnant, and suffering from rather severe “morning sickness”, a clear human misnomer given that it was the middle of the “night”, and hadn’t been able to keep anything other than cold tea down for almost two days. – Anon Guest
[AN: Corrected to Sidu (from SDU - Standard Distance Units) because Siwu is for weights. It’s a cultural peculiarity that things are measured in Sidu and -somehow- people are measured in ancient Terran Imperial units (feet, inches, pounds, stone etc). It’s weird and Humans are very likely to blame. For those wondering, the largest sibling in the prompt above is 4'11"]
This is the Edge. There are all sorts here. If that isn’t enough warning, then there probably never will be enough of a warning. Such was nearly the case for Plem, who was ‘browsing’ through some of the extended pan-polity markets in this particular ramshackle trading station. They had been doing rather well, absorbing some of the local customs by osmosis, and remaining out of trouble… and then they took a turn to an alleged shortcut and encountered what appeared to be a living roadblock.
Plem would later learn that this was referred to as a 'baby pile’. Four bodies in various stages of undress, one in hygenic pants only, were tangled together and blocking the pathway. Not one of them was taller than Plem. The tallest of them had fallen asleep, arms wrapped around two other sleepers, one of them rousing at Plem’s approach. The smallest shared possession of a datareader with the tallest, and the screen seemed to be displaying anthropomorphised foodstuffs singing repetitively and bouncing about in time to their song.
The second-smallest rubbed an eye and stared at Plem, who was busy trying to figure out this particular puzzle. Plem consulted their datareader and found salient information that these beings were Humans, and worse - Human young. Very young, as it happened. Every single one of them was likely preliterate and at least one of them was preverbal. Worse and worse, they had at minimum one parental, who was nowhere in sight. They had to be cared for and their carer was nowhere to be seen. Humans were Deathworlders and Deathworlders were even more dangerous when they believed their young was threatened. Plem risked, “Where being parental?” in GalSimple.
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