Challenge #02873-G316: A Puzzling Sample
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ZjMWLqJvM – Anon Guest
The Archivaas are primarily Human. One of the few sects of Human obsession that made hoarding work for them. They will, like most Humans, adopt anyone who shares their compulsion. Compulsions are not always healthy, but the Archivaas work hard to make theirs as healthy as possible.
Always be wary of an order capable of re-ordering entire solar systems so they can store their collections. They’re very capable of being dangerous if their minds ever turn away from collecting things and towards combat. Even the Vorax don’t mess with the Archivaas, reasoning correctly that they only look like harmless collectors in their brown robes, and there has to be something hazardous under that soft veneer[1].
Thuul was not the first Havenworlder to join the Archivaas, but they were one of the first to enter the Terran archives to view and catalogue some material that had only been categorised on the cursory level. Animation is not a genre, despite many viewing it as such, and the mistake of assuming all animated material is for children[2] is one that the Archivaas are well aware of.
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Challenge #02872-G315: Small Thrills, Big Day
A human’s friend has been begging them for months to take them to Earth to a local event. Something that all humans could enjoy in one form or another. Something that was fun for all humans but didn’t involve large explosions or things being destroyed. The human thought for a long moment and smiled, they had the most perfect idea. And that is how this level one havenworlder ended up sitting and trying deep fried cheese curds and onion rings for the first time, while sitting at a county fair. The human danced in a line dance, the havenworlder tried a merry-go-round, and there was fun and laughter late into the twilight hours. – DaniAndShali
The Podunk County Fair didn’t have fireworks. The budget didn’t include it. What they did have was a car with comically oversized tyres squashing defunct vehicles with an option for plumes of smoke from its superstructure. It was not the world’s hottest destination for thrillseekers. Well. Not for Human thrillseekers.
Only humanity could commodify this event by splashing HAVENWORLDER SAFE! in large, friendly letters all over the flyers. The result was an optimistic spiel from Companion Fluuph towards Human Ford, who was there for a holiday and family time.
The morning of the week-long Podunk County Fair dawned, and Human Ford put on her shoulder saddle after breakfast. She announced, “I’m takin’ Chicken to the fair, any o’ y'all comin’?” A small avian cogniscent like Fluuph may have been insulted by the nickname of “Chicken”, but Fluuph was used to Humans and their peculiar ways. Besides, they did rather resemble the fluffier breeds of Terran domestic avians.
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Challenge #02871-G314: Cause and Effect
Haiku can be strange
Five, seven, and five again
Refrigerator – Anon guest
There were magnets with words on them. Yet another Human invention that could be used for long-term communication and yet was still used for random art. For instance, the poetic form on the communal chilled food store. A thing that described itself and was still a joke. Typically Human.
Companion Zue considered the words scattered around the magnetic surface, and thought about the message she might leave for the next person to come here and view.
Bugs are nutritious, was the first line. Zue felt accomplished. The hardest part was finding the right words, followed closely by rearranging them without interrupting other messages and art, because Havenworlders had trouble with magnets strong enough to cling to communal metal.
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Challenge #02869-G312: Tolerance Levels
Human A: “Try this!”
Human B: “Is it hot?”
Human A: “No.”
Human B: “Your not hot, or my not hot?”
Human A: “…it’s not hot.”
Human B: “…” takes a bite
Nonhuman Cremember: “Why is Human B crying while guzzling milk?”
Human A: “It’s not hot!”
Human B: (takes a moment to stop guzzling milk)(snot and tears running down face) “I’m sensitive to capsaicin, and you eat raw ghost peppers for fun! Your ‘not hot’ is not my 'not hot’!” (goes back to drinking milk) – Escla
Thaq summoned Companion Phrel with a relatively simple, “The Humans are at it again.” It was ships’ shorthand. The Humans needed an intervention from a rational cogniscent. Again. All the manuals said that Humans pack-bonded and needed at least one Human around to fulfil their societal needs, but this pair were continually battling.
Maybe they’d be better off getting a family set, next time. If they all survived to have a next time. These balding apes were nothing but trouble. If not to the crew, then certainly to each other.
Phrel arrived with hir go bag and took in the resultant scene. After a handful of seconds to assess the chaos, ze opened the bag and dug out a selection of small yellow cubes. One of these was administered to Human Bob with, “Here, suck on this.”
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Challenge #02867-G310: Unexpected Bargain
A human, intent on preparing a treat for havenworlder shipmates, orders a large amount of sugar. Due to a mix-up somewhere along the line, this human receives a large delivery of sugarcane instead and, well, “waste not, want not” – Anon Guest
“Wait. Why is this shipment in bales? I said ‘boxes’…” Human Thal checked their invoice archives. “That’s a 'B’ in the receipt, but it doesn’t say what that stands for… Oh shit, that’s a big number…”
Something had yet again gone wrong with the Ships’ Human who refused to use Rosetta Stone translation software when ordering from Alliance corporations who also refused to use Rosetta Stone software. No matter how many times the crew insisted that the software was useful, Human Thal insisted that it was a way to monitor activities.
Besides, Human Thal insisted, all network shops were identical. How badly could anyone possibly flakk things up? Everyone who knew the inherent prejudices of the Universe knew better than to ask questions that gave it the opportunity for demonstrations.
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