Challenge #02915-G358: A Super-effective Tactic
The ship had a room labeled “dedicated deathworlder hobby location”. For some time, this was considered to be sufficient. Then, they got a second deathworlder…and after the third time both deathworlders had to report to medical due to crafting tool related injuries stemming from frustration spawned combat with regards to shared airspace causing one project to be ruined by the airborne particulate from another project, well…
Something had to be done. – Anon Guest
Human hobbies are baffling to most cogniscents in the Alliance. Most of it seems to involve methods of creation that have long since been automated or superceded by advances in technology. Why anyone would -for example- wish to make their own ink from oak galls and then use that to write on ethically-sourced parchment with an equally ethically-sourced goose quill was beyond most of them. And that was just one example of the Human peculiarity that was Hobby.
The crew of the Valiant Deal thought they had solved the issue with Humans and their pastimes by reserving a single, large room for any and all Deathworlder hobby activities. With all the safety and hygiene protocols anyone could desire, because hobbies tended to expand to occupy all possible space[1], including all the necessary tools to do them with. They were very proud of themselves until they acquired two Ships’ Humans with incompatible hobbies.
“You got your knitting in my woodwork,” was frequently countered with, “You got woodwork in my knitting.” The argument was cyclical, involved the word “fallout” and had attempted and then failed to operate on the “you stay on your half” peace protocol.
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Challenge #02914-G357: Ia Ia Lobby F'thagn
Lobsters do not die of old age and don’t stop growing. They die when they become too big to moult properly. So we’re gonna take a lobster and help it moult over generations, and create a Leviathan god – Anon Guest
Humans don’t take theories at face value. They like to prove things in practice. They like to answer questions with, “We tried it and…” This could be either seen as a flaw or a benefit. It generally comes out as both at once. Take the Immortal Lobster Project. …please.
The theory that lobsters are technically immortal was one that Humanity accepted for years on Earth. There was no actual way to test that for that length of time. Then someone actually put thought into how to do so. It involved a big tank, a team of scientists dedicated to monitoring such a thing for generations on end, and increasingly elaborate devices to assist in the moulting.
Followed closely by increasingly enormous tanks for the experimental lobster. From desk size to room size to pool size to house size to an entire bay. When it got to the point of submarine stations and underwater machinery, there was significant murmuring to cease the experiment. After all, hadn’t they proved the point?
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Challenge #02913-G356: Poverty to Profit
As it turns out, some aspects of my life are so horrible that people think I’m making stuff up for shock value. – Anon Guest
Human Daz always had one week of food on their person, and an atmospheric condenser that stowed two Sivu[1] of purified water. They had a very small molecular reassembler integrated with their livesuit that could only make one thing - Nutrifood Paste. It had one job and it did it very well. The livesuit was a work of both art and paranoia, containing solar panels, a small wind turbine kit, and a very small, dormant, zero point energy unit. It could, theoretically keep Human Daz alive in the vacuum of space for up to two months. Last time companion Ryx checked, Human Daz was researching how to stretch it a fourth.
Companion Ryx was vaguely aware that Human Daz was what they called a “wild Deregger rescue”, but had no idea what that chain of words meant. Individually, Companion Ryx could understand the meaning, but… as a phrase? It had lost all of it. As she watched the Human run sims on potential mods for their suit, the nature of Daz’s obsessions came to be worrying enough to prompt her to be rude.
“If I may ask rude questions,” risked Ryx. “Why are you so concerned with surviving everything? You have not needed a majority of your livesuit mods since their installation, yet you keep adding more. Is this an addiction? Would you like psychological help?”
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Challenge #02912-G355: All in Good Fun
A: you’ll never catch me!
B: bold and words for some in BFG range
As the human pulls the trigger a stream of foam balls fly across the room
C: what does BFG stand for anyway?
B: Big Foam Gun, what else?
C: well I thought it was Big F****** Gun, but that works too. – Anon Guest
“Well, that’s what it used to stand for, pre-Shattering or something. I think. I’m not that up on my entertainment history. Most of it I absorbed from a real nerd who kept using ancient memes as comedy. Hardly anyone could understand him. We weren’t allowed to swear so… big foam gun. It’s friendlier.”
This was an extremely Deathworlder definition of ‘friendlier’. These were a band of people for whom play, hunting, and combat were inextricably linked. For them, a toy firearm that shot out soft foam balls at low velocity was fun. Their smallest children, just getting the hang of bipedal motion, could and would use them in simulated combat.
It took some levels of Havenworlders some significant time to get used to that. Humans, usually warned about the relative fragility of Havenworlders, were generally polite and kept their games to themselves until a briefing could occur. Such a briefing allowed the use of Human Brea’s “BFG”, provided warnings were issued for those unsure of their own offensensitivity. Which was why Companion Zin was watching the Ships’ Humans at their play.
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Challenge #02911-G354: You Raided the Wrong Planet
A backwater, mudball of a planet that’s home to the galaxies 3rd best interstellar circus comes under attack! – LatinoThor45
Five hundred years has changed a lot of things. Thousands of years in deep-time colonies has changed so very, very much more. The nature of Circus has evolved. There is no animal exploitation. The trained creatures present are holograms. Artificial intelligences carefully monitored by the CRC and the AI Alliance. They were not that smart, and carefully made to be so.
The most glittering entertainment was the live performances by cogniscents. They were definitely consenting to be there, and happy to show off. Except, when they came to Planet Podunk, they took some time off. The circus itself moved on. Performers swapping out to show off with those who were exhausted and planning to take an extended break to recoup from being “on the road” and work on some new material.
That was the plan, before the Vorax to attacked. They thought they were visiting a resort-world where people farmed for the fringe benefits. It looked like a peaceful planet where few people went and few people came from. It looked like an idyllic haven where people went to relax and enjoy themselves. It looked like a soft place of easy pickings. Looks are always deceptive.
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