Challenge #02934-H011: The Songs We Sing
give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock ‘n’ roll and drift away – Anon Guest
[AN: Link leads to a video with parody lyrics that is for real a 2020 mood. Offensensitivity warning for crude language]
The Humans were singing. This was nothing new. The matter of what they were singing was up to debate. The tune was familiar, but the words kept changing.
“Gimmie the yeast, boy/ and knead my rolls, I wanna get lost in the sour dough/ and drift awaaaayyyy…”
Companion Kesh was reasonably certain that those were not the original lyrics. Especially since the Humans were laughing about this. This was not, evidently, a case of getting stuck on what the words were. This was a contest of alternative lyrics. Filk[1], as some of them called it.
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Challenge #02933-H010: Devil’s in the Fine Print
You are going to learn to read, whether you like it or not! I will drag you into literacy kicking and screaming if I have to! – Anon Guest
“Whyyyy…” whined Rin. “Everything’s audio or video. Nobody reads.” The last word said with a sneer. As if literacy was a disfiguring and unwelcome disease.
“People still read,” said Van. “Let me tell you about the people who read, they’re the people who have to read, because they’re the ones who write the laws and contracts by which you live. You do not get laws in audio format. You do not get Fidbits of contracts. You have to read, and understand, before you approve of that nonsense. Once you put your name on something you think you understand, once you put your vote behind it - you can’t back out of it.”
“That’s paranoid,” Rin dismissed. “That’s tinfoil hat stuff.”
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Challenge #02931-H008: Okay We Know That Was Silly
Two humans go to the infirmary with hands covered in blisters. At first, the medic thinks they got heat-burned. But the tests show the blisters are from frostbite. When asked, the humans shrug and went “We wanted to see who could hold ice in our hands the longest, and to make it more fun, we added salt to our hands, first. We were just goofing off.” – Anon Guest
The leading cause of dangerous injury to Humans was Humans “just goofing off” as they put it. It was so widely known that the EMT’s had a special scramble alert for any security pickup that caught the phrase, “Hey, watch this!” There was a bigger one for, “Hold my beer.” Humans are notorious that way.
Medik Rentsh sighed and said, “If I wasn’t devoted to my work, I’d let you two suffer your consequences.” Ze got out the dermal regeneration gear and assessed who had the most damage for small triage.
“The salt was a mistake,” admitted Human Kin. “I remembered what salt does five seconds after the ice stuck to my hand.”
“That’s generally when the science kicks in,” contributed Human Jae. “Five seconds after the derp moment.”
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Challenge #02930-H007: A Gift in Kind
They were supposed to be a massive, mindless, killing machines, huge and terrifying to behold, they were thin, nearly hairless, and soft-bodied under their suits. I’d heard so much of these beings, we all have, that the idea of one of their ships docking at this newly built station scared many of us to nearly soiling ourselves. Galactic Law required us to let them dock, they were in need of aid, their ship damaged almost beyond recognition.
They were supposed to be massive, mindless, brutal savages. Our newly built dock is now strong enough to fend off an entire raiding Vorax fleet. All it cost us was giving them lodging and food so they could fix their ship. – Anon Guest
There is one law of the sea that is inviolate, and also has become inviolate in open space. Always respond to a distress call, for the distress may one day be your own. The flag of truce has always come with the cry of help, and it is the worst and most venal of crimes to pretend distress in order to attack anyone coming to aid them.
Therefore, when the Human vessel’s distress call was heard by Lilli Station, there was some cause for panic. This was a Havenworlder system, with a Havenworlder station, and all associated safety measures… but they had to answer.
Here we are, they said. They added, Please do not hurt us, we will supply what you need. Accommodations are being adjusted. The Phrajji aboard did their best with the toughest materials they had to hand. Using available information to make things ready for the Human horde that would surely come and take advantage of the situation. They even laid in offerings of live domesticated animals in the hopes that the Humans would eat those first and not feel inclined to polish off the cogniscent residents.
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Challenge #02927-H004: Flight of the Sandman
They were deep into enemy territory, surrounded, lost, and at a massive disadvantage. They were in the valley, their enemies had the hill and it was breezy, though the breeze blew away from them. They could use the sleep powder the havenworlders had invented for their insomnia-riddled human friend, but the climb was steep and they’d get noticed. Then the human had an idea. They made black string and took long strips of black sheets of matte plastic, and then put it together with sticks. At the same time, they told their friends to start, carefully, putting the powder into easily broken cloth pouches.
“Only way we’re escaping my friends, is to have some fun flying kites.” – Anon Guest
As Human Tor said, it was definitely a three-AM idea. Equal parts sleeplessness and inspired desperation, and perhaps a little influence of the stims she was taking to maintain alertness on the field. They had tried to take Tor’s stims away, but she had ways of finding things that would act as stims anyway.
Fact: The Havenworlders in the party were very light. Fact: They had materials to fly a payload of a certain amount of weight units up to the same level as the forces who had kettled them into the valley in the first place. There, with an instrument made by Human Tor, a sufficiently light Havenworlder could launch breakable packages of Tor’s sleep aid at the enemy forces.
“We all know my stuff hits like a truck,” said Human Tor. “These guys are at a lower level than your average Human and my tolerance is high. I think we can knock a hole in their kettle and zoom out like a melon pip.” Tor made a motion like squeezing an invisible seed and added an expulsion of air between tongue, teeth, and lips for emphasis. “The wind is with us, I’m jazzed as hell, and I have zero flakks to give right now about these flakkers. We can do this.”
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