I HAVE BEEN SCREAMING THIS FOR YEARS. FUCKING LISTEN!!
Challenge #00599 - A234: The Worst Levels of Fame
"All the geniuses I ever met were so just part of the time. To qualify, you only have to be great once, you know. Once when it matters."
He’d called it the Spline Actuator out of self-amusement and it turned out to be the most useful tool in the Galactic Standard Toolbox. It had spread virally across the Galactica alliance as thousands of JOATs made their own from equally viral how-to-make-it videos.
Every now and again, someone remembered to send him a few Seconds for the original idea.
But more frequently…
"Wow. That’s got to be the most beat-up looking Spline Actuator I’ve ever seen."
Five thousand, nine hundred and thirty eight… thought Probost. “That’s because it’s the first one.” He extracted himself from his work and offered his hand. “Hi. Probost Flit. Inventor of the Spline Actuator.”
A big, wide grin. An active shaking of the hand. “Oh wow. I never knew anyone invented that thing. It must have saved my life thousands of times. You must be rolling in Years. How much profit have you made?”
Sigh. “To date? Three Days.”
"What? How? Why? Everyone in the galaxy uses them…"
"Yes. They also make their own. And then they make their own how-to-make-it video. People pay them for their Time. If they remember, they send me a few Seconds because everyone figures I’m rolling in Years by now. If they remember.” It was hard not to be bitter. JOATs everywhere owed him their lives and he was still a lowly maintenance techie on the endless parade of tweaks and re-jigging in his regular beat.
The cogniscent who had once been so overjoyed looked alarmed. “I’m going to add information to any video I see that isn’t yours. And tell my networks.” Ze dug in hir pockets. “This isn’t nearly what I owe you, but think of it as a down payment.”
"Thanks," said Probost. Three more Hours, twenty-two Minutes, and a handful of Seconds. "This means a lot."
Not all of them believed him. In fact, damn few of them believed him. It was still on the Galactic Wiki that he kept his day job on a voluntary basis. Like anyone would volunteer to do backbreaking, repetitive maintenance work for their productive time.
"Are you working on anything else? The Spline Actuator’s a work of genius."
"Sorry… but it’s looking like I was only ever a genius once."
Building Bitzer part 2.
The mask featured here is a test platform on which I will experiment with different levels of paint-to-crackle ratio.
Even after all the care and attention to detail, I still wound up with black paint on parts of my body 9_9 But at least I was careful enough not to get any on my clothes. Yay me.
The roller made painting the mask a very quick process, and any small areas got filled in with the help of the small square brush on the far left of the last photo.
Stippling action with the brush works very well in filling in the tiny, fiddly areas. Both on the mask, and in the twiddly bits of the heart base.
The roller was sufficient for the underside of the top heart casing, as well as the battery port cover[see if you can spot it].
It was only after painting the insides that I realised getting rid of the battery compartment would give us more room to play inside the heart. Power to the lights will eventually come from a power pack in the bustle area… which I may be able to hide with the butt-bow that comes with the skirt.
Challenge #00598 - A233: Aftermath
Thank God you’re safe and I’m going to strangle you with my bare hands.
Rael picked up a forkful of double-chocolate beignets with fruit preserve stuffing a la mode, looked at it critically, and put it back down again.
"Playing with your food?" boggled Nik the Gyiik. "For you, this is a dangerous sign. Is all well?"
He made himself eat because he knew his body needed sustenance. For Gyiik cooking, this was almost sacrilege. “You remember Shayde,” he said.
"The pain in the anatomy clothed in an enigma, wrapped in a mystery and talked nothing but riddles? Yes. I liked her. I have a recipe for all sorts of lost Terran delights, thanks to her exquisite memory."
"What? She was relatively young… or was it young by relativity?"
"No, she’s not dead. The alleged gods that dropped her on me took her back."
"What did they look like, these gods?" asked Nik. "I didn’t see it, but there are conflicting accounts and the securicams picked up nothing."
"To me? They looked like really cheap special effects. Tacky, even. And I couldn’t do anything to stop them."
Nik smiled. “Ah. I see. You like her more than you tell.”
"Not like that. Honestly. What is it with you evolvers and breeding?”
"Eh. Liking children helps there be more of us." Nik shrugged with all his four arms. "But there is something you miss, no? Some way you are worried about her… something you’d like to see again."
Rael tried to taste his food in a desperate effort to avoid the implication of romance. Romantic love was a dreadful cliche. And most likely impossible, given that, as an engineered life form, his breeding specs were -well- specific.
And he didn’t really want to know what they were.
"Eh…?" Nik waggled his crunchy eyebrows. He wasn’t giving up.
"All right. Fine. Against my better judgement, yes. I miss her. Not just any one thing… all of her. Even the annoying aspects."
There was a sound like tearing silk as a black talon tore a temporary hole in reality and the unlikely entity known as Shayde slithered through it. “Ah I knew ye loved me! Gi’ us a hug.”
All his unlikely and unwanted emotions spilled out of his mouth at once in a flustered, “Thank the Powers you’re all right! I am going to strangle you with my bare hands!”
She just laughed and french-dipped him into a kiss.
"Er," said Nik. "Any particular reason that you’re naked?"
Shayde looked down at herself, shrieked, and covered her censorable portions with her hands. “Really long story. Can I do the shadow-hop, then?”
Good grief. She actually remembered to ask first. Rael nodded mutely.
Once again, she was gone. But this time, he knew she would be coming back.
He still didn’t know whether to be elated or furious.
Actual dialogue this morning
- Me: What's a vegan's favourite flat surface?
- Mayhem: ...
- Me: A vege-table! :D
- Mayhem: ...
- Mayhem: Die in a fire.
If you use YouTube, you need to know this.
You’ve heard all these rumblings about Net Neutrality over the past several months. Let’s get real: this is about controlling online video. It is estimated that by 2017, video content will account for 80-90% of all global Internet traffic.
This isn’t just about not being able to binge-watch a series on Netflix. It’s about the future of online video as we know it.
Whether your YouTube channel is home to daily vlogs, short films, or just that one video from when the cinnamon challenge seemed like a good idea, you’re a video creator. Your content and comments help shape this community. Let’s keep it that way.
Net Neutrality means that your YouTube videos reach people at the same speed as clips from last night’s episode of the Tonight Show. It means a level playing field for video creators looking to reach an audience. But new Net Neutrality rules could mess that up.
Here’s the deal: Telecommunications companies already charge us to access the Internet through our homes and our phones. New FCC rules could allow them to also charge content providers (like YouTube, Netflix, and even PBS) for access to our eyeballs. It could create a fast lane for Jimmy Fallon’s clips, and slow lane for your YouTube videos.
It is really important that the FCC understands that online video creators care about Net Neutrality. Even if you’ve only ever uploaded ONE VIDEO, you are a creator and you have a voice.
If you can, please add your channel to our petition. We’ll deliver this to the FCC in September and demonstrate that the online video community cares about this issue.
Making Bitzer’s Heart part 1.
This is the designated sacrificial heart, in which we are going to bugger everything up while we figure out how to transform it into a magic opal.
I secured these hearts thanks to geekhyena [Hi! Let me know when that Paypal goes through :D ] and the postage and handling cost five times the amount the hearts did - give or take a few bucks.
The obvious first problem is that the light cover is white when I want a black opal.
Our first experiments involved nail polish remover, window cleaner, eucalyptus oil, turpentine, and methylated spirits.
The metho seems to be working, very slowly, at turning the plastic clear. dakhur is staying over and has way less reactive skin than I, so I have them polishing the white slowly out of the light cover.
We will later be undergoing an expedition to get the twinkly lights and rigging from Jaycar’s.
Further experiments will involve spray paint, foil, and little mirror tiles.