10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn
These behaviors, the interrupting and the over-talking, also happen as the result of difference in status, but gender rules.
- It’s not hard to fathom why so many men tend to assume they are great and that what they have to say is more legitimate. It starts in childhood and never ends. Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls.
- For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more.
- This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.
- As adults, women’s speech is granted less authority. We aren’t thought of as able critics or as funny.
- Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons religious institutions.)
- Indeed, in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. That’s why, as researchers summed up, “Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.”
- Even in movies and television, male actors engage in more disruptive speech and garner twice as much speaking and screen time as their female peers.
- Listserve topics introduced by men have a much higher rate of response.
- On Twitter, people retweet men two times as often as women.
The best part though is that we are socialized to think women talk more. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are hogging the floor when men are actually dominating. Linguists have concluded that much of what is popularly understood about women and men being from different planets, verbally, confuses “women’s language” with “powerless language.”
This preference for what men have to say, supported by men and women both, is a variant on “mansplaining.” The word came out of an article by writer Rebecca Solnit, who explained that the tendency some men have to grant their own speech greater import than a perfectly competent woman’s is not a universal male trait, but the “intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.” Solnit’s tipping point experience really did take the cake. She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books, and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West.The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, “And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?” He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally a friend said, “That’s her book.” He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before “he went ashen” and walked away. If you are not a woman, ask any woman you know what this is like, because it is not fun and happens to all of us.
Last week as I sat in a cafe, a man in his 60′s stopped to ask me what I was writing. I told him, a book about gender and media and he said, “I went to a conference where someone talked about that a few years ago. I read a paper about it a few years ago. Did you know that car manufacturers use slightly denigrating images of women to sell cars? I’d be happy to help you.” After I suggested, smiling cheerily, that the images were beyond denigrating and definitively injurious to women’s dignity, free speech, and parity in culture he drifted off
In the wake of Larry Summers’ “women can’t do math” controversy several years ago, scientist Ben Barres wrote publicly about his experiences, first as a woman and later in life, as a male. As a female student at MIT, Barbara Barres was told by a professor after solving a particularly difficult math problem, “Your boyfriend must have solved it for you.” When several years after, as Ben Barres, he gave a well-received scientific speech, he overhead a member of the audience say, “His work is much better than his sister’s.” Most notably, he concluded that one of the major benefits of being male was that he could now “even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.”
Really, practice those ten words.
“Stop interrupting me.”
“I just said that.”
“No explanation needed.”
Challenge #00605 - A240: Tax Haven
“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.” – Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes
Patriot Imbaw swaggered up to the immigration counter, and pressed his paperwork through the little slot. “I need citizenship on this here Galactic Station ay-sap. How can we -ah- accelerate that process?” He had a greasy smile and greasy hair. In fact, just about everything about him could be described in terms of grease. It seemed like he perspired oily residue that had no origin in the equatorial realms of his waist.
"We must evaluate your situation, so your full honesty is appreciated." Registration clerk Judi Bell began a trace. "Once verified, your employment assessment will begin."
"Employment! I let my money do the work," he laughed uproariously. "Money covers all bases. Look. I’m only moving here because there’s no taxes, understand?"
"Are you a legal shareholder of a corporate entity?"
"Naw, honey. I’m just rich. And I’m used to getting what I want, so shimmy-shake, darlin’."
Aha. He was from one of the Greater Deregulations. “Sir, I’m afraid the exchange rate on your… riches… isn’t that spectacular. And regulations require that you maintain a state of employ.”
"Just find me a loophole, sweetheart. There’s a million Yahu’s in it for you."
"Sir. You can not bribe me with Three Minutes."
It went downhill from there. Rather rapidly.
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I tried to get back to sleep for half an hour… Alas, sleep is not coming to me.
It’s going to be a long and interesting day, today, folks.
My feet hurt from yesterday. So excruciatingly that I don’t want to get out of bed.
The sleep headphones do work, but I neglected to charge them, yesterday. Turns out the batteries are only good for one night. Yay. Not.
Building Bitzer part 7
More incredibly advanced techniques are revealed herein, my dear readers.
If you are using Fray Stoppa for anything, please:
- Use protective gear. The cautions on the bottle recommend full hazmat gear. Alongside storage in a lead-lined bunker 20 miles below the surface of the Earth, after use.
- Don’t breathe the fumes
- Keep loved ones away from this stuff
- Make sure it’s sealed between uses
Seriously, though, this stuff is REALLY toxic. I got a little on my fingers when I was removing the seal [Pro-tip - use pliers or tweezers if you’re going to do it. I mean it about the gloves.] I felt the effects immediately. Including a slowly-growing burning sensation in the affected skin.
I soaked the cut ends of my ribbon and found something else to do during the five minute drying time. Mostly, keeping my darlings away from said toxic goo.
I kept one glove on during the process to make sure I didn’t get any on me, and exclusively handled the bottle with that hand.
The rest was delightfully easy.
Fold in half,
Manoeuvre into place,
Pin into place,
Re-assemble the back of the hat.
I look that stoned because I’m trying to line up the shot right.
Yes, my hair is going to be more orange when I cosplay Bitzer.
The hat’s done! Yay!
Building Bitzer part 6
Adding the brooch backing was a relatively simple process, when compared to refining the front!
The brooch backs cost $2.49AU, which is one cent cheaper than the horrible tiny thing I’d have had to disassemble from a dollar shop. Remember, kids, it pays to look around and compare prices and options.
I had the shakes fairly bad, which made lining up the brooch back while I sharpies the dots in a little problematic, but as you can see, the rest went off without a hitch.
I did have to apply a little craft glue to the brooch to stabilise it once it was in place on the hat.
In part seven - adding ribbon to the back!
Building Bitzer part 5
My long-misused jewellery-crafting skills got a workout this afternoon as I turned a substandard necklace into a pretty nifty brooch.
I thought the chain would also be cheap and nasty, but no-o-o-o-o… It turned out to be some high-strength previously undiscovered amalgam of tungsten carbide or something as it was an incredible pain in the anatomy to try and break one link.
Even my trusty side-snips [pic 3] barely made a dent in them, but once that dent was made, the link was weaker and eventually succumbed to pressure.
The technique went thusly:
- Dent reject link with side-snips. This uses prodigious amounts of muscle and some leaning.
- Insert closed needle-nose pliers into the centre of the reject link.
- Resting tip of pliers against the table, apply pressure both outwards and down.
- Curse a bit whenever the arrangement slips.
- Finally get enough gap to winkle reject link free.
Blood sacrifices are not necessary.
The gem holding prongs were shockingly easy to open in comparison, and the gems themselves were minuscule!
I poured one drop of craft clue into the setting, picked up the gem by adhering it to my finger, and pressing it onto place. Then, once it was in, it was just a matter of re-setting the prongs.
Compared to the link removal, it was a breath of fresh air after exiting hades.
Next: Fixing the loose links back into their proper place. My glue gun has a dribbly nose and that’s exactly what I needed for this job.
Part 6 coming soon!
Challenge #00604 - A239: One Stormy Evening in a Spaceport Bar
You’ll make it in five days, boosting six points past emergency max the whole way. If the engineer’s been doing his job, the engines won’t blow until you hit eight. Quite safe.
Plasma from Hyperspace leaked with every ship that travelled through a wormhole. And when it reached a certain density, or a one-way wormhole ‘popped’ into a two way passage, electrons discharged through it in a pattern that still baffled mathematicians everywhere.
And for those caught in Crossroads Station, on the inside of Hyperspace, where two shipping paths met and someone set up a place to serve a multitude of needs… the storms had them all itching to be elsewhere.
"My knee’s still aching. It’s going to be another Hour, still."
"Do us a favour and tell us when your knee’s not aching, okay?"
On the public address, a friendly voice told all those who cared to listen that all flights were delayed another five minutes while the storms continued. It had been making this announcement for three days.
And someone, somewhere, was trying to wheedle passage the heck out of Crossroads and towards Hitizzy.
"Look," said the human. He had a mop of strawberry-blonde curls and a complexion best described as ‘swarthy’. Any other piratical leanings were completely obliterated by the generic Services Orange outfit he wore. "I’m not saying ‘go now’. That’s be suicide. Just wait until there’s a lull and floor it to Hitizzy."
"It’s still a week-long journey."
"Aw, don’t give me that. You can make it in five days if you boost six points past emergency max the whole way."
"But my engines!"
"Your engines’ll be fine if your engineer’s done his job. They won’t blow ‘till ye get to eight points. Safe as houses."
The saurian glared at the human. “You and I have entirely different definitions of ‘safe’.”
"You’re broke. I have cargo. I can’t pay ye a deposit, but if we get it to Hitizzy before the end of the storms, we’ll be insanely rich! What’s not ta love?"
"You. Your definition of ‘safe’ and the fact that your cargo is alive…"
"Check the numbers. You’ll see."
The saurian grumbled and ran data through his info-viewer. Then he boggled. “And how are you planning to know when a lull’s coming?”
"Old Joe and hir knee is the most reliable storm predictor in the Galactic alliance. Been payin’ fer hir drinks."
The saurian reluctantly offered a hand. “Ax’and’l.”
"Hwell Barrow. Very pleased to be doin’ business with ye sir!"
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Challenge #00603 - A238: Bad, Bad Intel
I may be small, but I screw up big because I’m standing on the shoulders of GIANTS.
The dangerous mammals were clustered in one area. One area full of volatile chemicals, dangerous levels of electricity, and heavy concentrations of methane and pathogens.
Hundreds of them gathered in the night to observe some ritualistic activity that involved rhythmic gyrations and consumption or production of the above substances.
They were a threat to the Mo’fathan Empire.
Which was how Kirxaan the Mighty opened fire on a holiday resort and became guilty of the slaughter of just under three thousand unarmed non-combatants.
And how he gained the negative attention of the humans.
Which, should you examine the chain of events, is why the Mo’fathan Empire doesn’t exist any more.
So, in a way, Kirxaan was right. But only after he opened fire.
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