April 20, 2014   90,277 notes

Guys i need to prove something to my mom

asdf-imcrazy:

Reblog this if knowing somone is bisexual/pansexual doesnt change your friendship/how you think of that person.

(via meefling)

April 20, 2014

Challenge #00480 - A105: Lead Balloon

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates when he said “I drank what?” — RecklessPrudence

Jones had had enough. “Actually, he said that he owed a rooster to Asclepius, the Greek god of healing, and asked his friend to pay the debt. He knew damn well he was drinking hemlock and chugged it like it was cheap beer.”

The rest of the meeting stared at her.

"I’m tired of historically inaccurate jokes, okay? Socrates was a bad-ass and nobody should forget it."

The uncomfortable silence stretched. Filled only by awkward shuffling and the occasional cough.

"Er. Yes. Thank you, Margret."

"His exact last words could make an okay dick joke," she offered.

"*Thank* you, Margret," said Evans in the tones of you-can-stop-talking-now. "We’ve proved that history only repeats if you fail it. Moving on…" The meeting returned to the everyday humdrum. Broken only by the odd peculiar look in her direction.

She never meant to have hidden talents. It was just that nobody asked about them.

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April 19, 2014

Challenge #00480 - A105: Proof of Reading

(New scientific project posts a status update. Buried in hundreds of lines of technical jargon is this)

IA!! IA!! SIS BOOM BA! OLD ONES!! OLD ONES!! RAH-RAH-RAH!!

YOG-SOTHOTH!!

(Followed by:)

To summarize, there should be no harmful side-effects from this project. — RecklessPrudence

"Jenkins… I do understand the natural frustration with our sponsors not reading the technical data they pay for, but…" Paulson handed over the page with the highlighted passage. "Was this absolutely necessary?”

Jenkins fidgeted in place and tangled her fingers. She bit her lip and blushed. “Um. To my credit, I did post that on April the first…”

"…and nobody caught it until July…" added Paulson. "On one hand, you proved your point. On the other hand, you proved it too well and the stock’s dropped by five points and our investors want to talk to you."

"I get it. In future, I’ll copy-paste in script fragments from Farscape.”

"In future, Jenkins," Paulson groaned, "restrain your impulses.”

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April 19, 2014   568 notes

spacemuffinz:

i was just playing around with my imagination then everything got all intense o_o

(via teagator)

April 18, 2014

Challenge #00479 - A104: Works of Synchronicity

If there’s one thing the internet as a whole can aspire to be, it’s infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters. — RecklessPrudence

Communication has always been the barrier to creativity. But now those barriers were only limited by language. And even then, there were translation apps.

Such apps were very useful to Archivaas Nel, whose job it was to trawl the archives and file each and every item. Cross-referencing, of course, in case someone wanted to trace a work to its point of origin. If Nel had to be thankful for one thing, it was that she didn’t belong to one of the weirder sects that required hardcopies of everything[1]. Those took over entire stellar systems for their archives.

So far, she was up to Ancient Earth’s surviving internet archives of Terran Calendar year Twenty-Eleven. And it looked like - yes - she’d found three more Asimov-level creators. Two artists, one writer. It seemed as if the further the internet reached, the numbers of Asimov-level creative volume and above increased exponentially. And cross-referencing their verbal patterns uncovered increasing numbers of works that could plausibly be attributed to them.

The apps were right only seventy percent of the time. It took a cogniscent eye to spot the subtleties. And authors had a bad habit of taking down interesting phraseology and using it in a later work. And many of them who were interconnected had ways of throwing homages at each other as a sort of game.

If anything resembled the theoretical infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters, it was this lot. And now there were communications connecting entire star systems, it was only going to get worse.

Or, depending on where one stood, better.

[1] I remember seeing somewhere that if the entire contents of the internet were printed out, it would deforest the globe before you got even a fraction of the way there. Plus you’d need a skyscraper full of printers running 24/7 to get the job done in any appreciable time.

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April 18, 2014   171,538 notes

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY IF I PUT SOMETHING FUCKING WEIRD AS FUCK IN YOUR INBOX

Warning: I *WILL* turn it into a story

(Source: yungbasedblogger, via meefling)

April 17, 2014   1,797 notes

HatchworthThe Hatchmeister

I want the backstory to the last two gifs IMMEDIATELY. Like, who was than mean old man? His name, his habits, and how horrid he was to poor babybot Hatchy.

(Source: wow-david, via ravendarkstalker)

April 17, 2014

Challenge #00478 - A103: Fecocephalopathy

"It occurs to me…your inability to use the brain evolution granted you is none of my concern." — RecklessPrudence

[AN: In case you’re wondering, it’s pronounced “fee co seff a lop ath ee”. The medical state of having shit for brains]

"Heads up, I got me a creeper," Shayde announced as she parked herself uncomfortably close to him.

There would be no answers forthcoming from Shayde, who acted as if everyone could understand her and took hours of convincing to achieve an explanation. Therefore, Rael turned to peer in the direction Shayde had come from.

"Na, don’t look. Don’t look. Maybe we can avoid his notice," said the six-foot tall amazon with literally black skin, wild white hair, and glowing demonic eyes.

"Shayde… you do look in a mirror on a daily basis, don’t you?”

"Oh, I see," said a stranger of the exact type to think he was any given god’s gift to women, but frequently found himself on the refunds counter. Everything you needed to know about the man was right there on the worn and stained shirt that read -in sun-faded letters- Greater Deregulation: Love it or Get Shot!

It featured a contorted figure of a woman in what was once a patriotic bikini. Both her illustrated bosoms and buttocks had worn thin from constant friction.

The man leaned on the bar in what he probably thought was a sexy pose. “The old, ‘I have a boyfriend’ trick. You should pick a better beard, little missy.”

Shayde made a face. It said, without words, Can you believe this bastard? I am so very glad I haven’t eaten recently. “I cannae do the shadow thing,” she whispered. “I don’t want that much paperwork e’er again.”

So. Sherlock had hit the mark with the Gallery Incident. But, he had evidently hit it too hard and too well. “Perhaps, sir, you are unaware of the local harassment laws?”

"This ain’t harassment, ya tube-grown sissy! This is attention. It’s like a compliment. The lady’s got a nice ass and I want in on it.” He laughed raucously at his own pseudo-joke.

"Please tell me I can cut his throat," Shayde subvocalised. "Or I have authority tae knee him in the nuts."

Rael made a very subtle ‘calm down’ motion with one hand. He was already sending video feed from his brow-cam to the security offices. The multitasker on duty was sending him helpful advice through his  on how to handle it until security got there.

"Your attentions and compliments are clearly unwanted," stated Rael.

"Who said her opinion mattered? Frigid bitch won’t even friendzone me."

Now Shayde’s face said, Can I kill him now?

Around them, numerous bystanders were also setting their info-monocles to send live feed to the security office. They knew Shayde and her usual attitude to verbal harassment.

"It occurs to me that you must have skipped out on some court-mandated etiquette training."

"It occurs to me that I could punch both’a your faces in."

"It occurs to me," said Rael as security finally turned up to drag him away, "that your inability to use the brain evolution granted you is none of my concern." He smiled as the hands of taller, fitter, and far more muscular members of the security forces descended upon his shoulders. "Have a nice time in mandatory therapy!"

"Ye won’t get out till ye pass a test," added Shayde.

"God I love it when you speak French," he called as they dragged him away. "Keep it warm for me, baby!" One hand grabbed his shirt’s cartoon once-were-breasts, the other grabbed the area where the derrière once was. He slobbered in Shayde’s direction while waggling his tongue like a hungry giraffe.

Shayde vented an ululating noise that could have passed for the agony cry of a hippo. “An’ that’s why I didnae talk tae ‘im…”

"Greater Deregulation man-babies," Rael sighed. Rolling his eyes at the entire sub-species.

"Aye, they should pass a test afore they’re allowed tae travel."

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April 17, 2014   484,158 notes

Thank you for following me. Thank you for reblogging from me. Thank you for liking my posts. Thank you for sending me nice messages. Thank you for staying followed to me. Thank you for making my Tumblr experience amazing. Thank you.

(Source: yiqie, via sassygayfakeahcrew)

April 17, 2014   296 notes
temple-ait:

spacemuffinz:

temple-ait:

Have a cute pouting Rabbit while I’m still struggling with this whole ‘drawing style’ mystery XD how draw :c

THIS IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD
"stupid spine never lets me have no fun. i only wanted to pet the bears."


Okay I couldn’t just leave that XDDD

I love how The Spine is all roughed up in this. Like you KNOW he got in there and rescued his sister from the bears before she could get a scratch at the cost of his own safety. And even when she’s mad at him for it, he still cares…

temple-ait:

spacemuffinz:

temple-ait:

Have a cute pouting Rabbit while I’m still struggling with this whole ‘drawing style’ mystery XD how draw :c

THIS IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD

"stupid spine never lets me have no fun. i only wanted to pet the bears."

Okay I couldn’t just leave that XDDD

I love how The Spine is all roughed up in this. Like you KNOW he got in there and rescued his sister from the bears before she could get a scratch at the cost of his own safety. And even when she’s mad at him for it, he still cares…