Challenge #00632 - A267: Boundless Realms of Ignorance
To sing when anti-science protestors of whatever stripe are around:
Ev’ry banana you eat / has been genetically engineered / and is a radioactive clone.
There were simultaneous protests outside the administrative building. Some protestors, with a foot in each camp, had evolved revolving signs.
"Bible bashers," Sylvia shook her head. One side of a sign she was watching quoted the bible about natural foods, and the other screamed about teaching creationism. She had a wicked idea and ducked into her laboratory greenhouse.
Edna followed her. “What are you up to? You’re not going to bomb them with dyed smoke again, are you?”
"No. I’m just going to give them a material lesson… Ah! There they are."
It was a green oblong that looked much like a cucumber with warts. Sylvia cackled like a true mad scientist as she made her way outside to the protestors.
"Sylvia…" Edna warned. "That’s not a new sample, is it?"
"No, no, no. It’s old as dirt. Promise." It took her five minutes to force her face into Press Conference Formality, at which point she strode out to the protestor with the revolving sign.
"Stay away from me, you ungodly harlot!"
"Well at least I’m not wearing blended fabrics or eating ham," she retorted. "Here’s a banana as God intended them." She handed over the knobbly green thing. "Fresh from my garden."
The protestor stared at it in disgust.
"Yum yum yum," cooed Sylvia.
Alas, it didn’t work. People opposed to science are naturally inclined to disbelieve anyone in a white coat.
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Challenge #00631 - A266: Respect It
To quote Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 3, Line 87: No!
"Geez, why do you have to be such a bitch about it?"
Ugh. “Maybe because I had to tell you thirty times before you even heard a real ‘no’? Maybe because my wants and needs aren’t relevant to you? Maybe because the first thing that came out of your mouth when I told you I was bisexual was ‘threesome’? Maybe it’s because you’re as aesthetically pleasing as month-old mozzarella that’s been left in the sun for three months? Maybe it’s because you smell like that, too? But really, when you get down to it? It’s because you don’t fucking listen.”
He stared at her in piggy incomprehension. “You know, if you’re on your rag, just tell me.”
"It’s men like you who give men a bad reputation, did you know that?"
"Come on. It’s not like I’m asking you to fuck me or something… Just a coffee."
"The closest we’re getting to going to get a coffee is if I throw some of mine in your face. I don’t want you breathing my air. Go away." She re-enforced her point with her stun gun.
"Jesus. Who told you I was interested? I was just trying to compliment your fat ugly ass. Bulldyke."
Jessica sighed in relief and continued on her way to meet her girlfriend. The sooner they had a tag-and-release system for those pathetic specimens, the better.
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15 poewrful Jose Mujica quotes no other leader has the guts to say
"Modest yet bold, liberal and fun-loving."
Naming Uruguay the country of the year in 2013, the Economist may very well have described the rising nation’s head of state, President José “Pepe” Mujica.
Known for his unusual frankness, fiery oration and bold leadership to turn ideas into action, the 78-year-old leader possesses and practices the very characteristics that many world leaders fail to emulate. He has also garnered international acclaim for his progressive policies, down-to-earth personality and simple presentation, which has earned him a reputation as “the world’s poorest president.”
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Beloved give it a makeover.
FINALLY found a font I’m satisfied with. Switched up the wheel so that it looks more unworldly, added a gradient, smacked on a border, and boom - customer interest.
Releasing this Saturday!
callmegallifreya said: Still keeping up with Steven Universe? That most recent episode pair certainly threw out some wrenches...
I saw that one.
On one hand: headcannon confirmed! YAY! I freaking called it!
On the other hand… what the heck is the history here? Is Lapis a rogue Gem or has she turned bitter from being in the mirror for too long?
Does she want to destroy the world she’s been trapped on, or does she just want to explore?
If the Gems prevented her from leaving - why? Why was her presence so important?
We already have the fact that the Gems don’t understand the people they are meant to protect [See: Pearl] and there’s this ongoing quest to recover artefacts of magic [why?]
I mean, I was worried about Pearl. She seems to be sliding slowly down a path that leads to corruption. Or, at least, power hunger.
She’s already an uptight control freak. She just freaking destroyed Steven’s teddy-bear because it wasn’t symmetrical…
I think Steven Universe is about to go to some Dark Places…
Is this better?
I got rid of the ugly, under-colouring ‘glow’ and refined it to an effects layer [harder than it looks, I had to re-fill the wheel and delete all the noise from my previous attempts] which I can now edit to my heart’s content.
I also added some blood red to the body of the bicycle and fooled with the opacity a little. Too strong == uglier :P
I mean, I want it to look like an ugly colourisation job, but not THAT ugly.
I’m still not happy with the firkin title font though.
What do you think?
Challenge #00630 - A265: Corrupt File
C:> Cannot find Reality.sys. Universe Halted.
There was no other word for what was happening than Glitch. People went to sleep one colour and woke up another the next. And frequently with a change in their social status and standing.
And it wasn’t just their colour that changed. There were all kinds of alterations. People would go to sleep as a man in a mansion, and wake up as a woman in a slum.
Buildings began to show segmentation faults. Infrastructure literally crumbled.
Death rates skyrocketed. Chaos and outrage abounded. People tried to stay awake, hoping that that would prevent the changes, but their world simply altered around them anyway.
When analysed by the intelligent, it seemed to be a very specific kind of chaos. Those in power -and who were arrogant about having it- found themselves on the bottom rung of the social ladder. Everyone stayed within their own country.
The abusers found themselves at the hands of their former victims, staring up at themselves in absolute terror.
God, they said, had taken matters into Hir own hands.
Survivors fled to untouched areas, trying to find solace in what little was unglitched. It was the end of the world as they knew it.
The tutor had come to peer over hir shoulder.
"Yhvh…" the tutor sighed. "There’s a reason why I only gave you one planet. And this is it. Just look at the overall mess you’ve created. None of their infrastructure is going to hold."
"But they weren’t following my rules," Yhvh complained. "Even when I completely revised it to one rule and stopped doing so many miracles, like you said."
"I see you’ve been messing around with the root code. Did you save a backup before you did that?"
"You wanted them believing in you again, didn’t you?"
A groan. “Yhvh… you really have to learn that the best interference is the subtle kind. Remember the incidents near the equator? All that smiting? Your heavy-handedness is going to be the death of these beings. What do I keep telling you? Gently. Gently. Gently.”
Sigh. “Yes, Teacher Lusfir…” Yhvh droned.
"Now. Let’s see what we can do to repair this, hm?"
Moaned, this time, “Yes, Teacher Lusfir.”
"It’s a good thing I stopped you before you could bottleneck the population again. Open up the root file and highlight the most recent changes…"
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Challenge #00630 - A265: Deep Time Punk’d
A text found on the first expedition by a species to their planet’s nearest celestial body (moon or nearby planet), which explains in perfectly accurate detail how to improve the efficiency of in-system spaceflight many times over.
Appendix A begins “As we know, 2+2=5…”
Five hundred years ago, people had seen strange lights in association with their moon. A light was clearly visible on the surface of the satellite, every time that it became shadowed.
Four hundred years ago, that light went out for the last time, and the lights visiting the moon left. Never to return.
Last year, the planets’ champion - a fine lady by the name of Nyel the Strong - was the first to set foot on that orbiting planetoid in the name of peace and harmony for all.
Today, scientists had cracked the code. The lunar visitors had been prepared for any eventuality. They had left arrows to point the way. The box contained basic pictograms on how to open it and how to read the contents.
The first book unravelled the second, as well as covering some basic elements of science and what the aliens had also thought were basic elements of science. The second unravelled the third…
And while they were learning, they were also testing.
The Grel’ti people leaped ahead. In science, art, and civilisation. They mined their asteroid belts and prepared to go to the stars.
And then they began to decode the Appendices.
"As we know, 2+2=5…"
Five Hundred Years Ago…
The aliens had got their data. Who they were was not important. You couldn’t pronounce their names, anyway. Let’s call them Greg, and Larson.
"Wait. So you got them almost up to our level of tech and you put in a fucking math joke?”
Greg chuckled as he sealed the box. “This is such a classic…”
"No, Greg, you are such a shit."
He started etching arrows on the walls and floor, giggling the entire time. “I wish I could see their little faces…”
"…for fuck’s sake," sighed Larson. "You always do this. Every pre-journey planet we monitor, you have to pull this unthought crap.”
Greg continued to laugh. “They are gonna be so pissed off…”
"Someone in authority is going to catch you doing this and then you’re going to know about it.”
"Worth it," laughed Greg.
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